Escape and never come back

Galatians51

Active Member
3 PMOs today so far. I don't know what else to say. I'm fucked. I'm dead if I don't change something.
Hey man, sorry to hear about your relapses, I know the feeling. For me, I kept relapsing for years while wanting to quit, but it wasn't until I decided I would do anything that it takes to quit - that's when I joined this forum and have been free for 118 days so far... you can do it - you just have to decide that you're not going to play games with it anymore. I cut out all tv, social media, and any non work related internet activity, even bought a cell phone with no internet on it. If you really want to be free, do whatever it takes.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Or maybe keeping it all inside and not talking about it can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms because you can't get advice from people, you feel me? That's why this forum is great, at least for that, when you have nobody else.
I get you man, that's why it's great to open up to someone in the real world, a real shoulder to cry on. Have you looked into online zoom counseling? I know that's completely opposite from what I just said lol but even there, it's a real person face to face, so it's slightly different. That way you could open up to someone, you could even think of it as a "practice session" before doing it in the real world.

Just a thought
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Can you do anything to break the cycle when you have an urge? Pushups? Breathing exercises? Energy circulation exercises?

Experts say that even if you then relapse, the fact that you "took control" can help get your brain's executive function working better.
I don't know, man, I'm going to try. Thanks for support.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 0

Binge yesterday, 1 PMO today... Yesterday I had urges but did nothing then started drinking in the evening, I had no urges so then why the fuck did I do it? I can't believe this shit.
 
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Simon2

Well-Known Member
It's time to try something different for sure. Contact SA - what is there to lose? You go a few times - if you hate it you can quit anytime...

I like this quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” - Apparently something Einstein liked to say.

If it's not working for us, we ALL need to try something different. :)
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
It's time to try something different for sure. Contact SA - what is there to lose? You go a few times - if you hate it you can quit anytime...

I like this quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” - Apparently something Einstein liked to say.

If it's not working for us, we ALL need to try something different. :)
You're right, man.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

To be honest with y'all, I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of myself, my life, the way things have turned out, the fact that there is nothing in my life I like because I've been ridiculous enough to waste my life. I'm sure this should change if I can get a fuckin longer streak away from this bullshit. IF I can get a longer streak. And for now, today, everything seems so fuckin difficult and confusing.
 

Nico

Active Member
Hi I am in recovery from several addictions, including alcohol, and from reading your posts I feel like getting to AA and addressing that would be a good move for you. Alcohol is going to take away the mindfulness and discipline we need, and although it seems to help with low mood and anxiety it actually causes those things, it is a depressant. I don't think I could have done this work on porn while drinking, so you could either address alcohol first or try to take them both on at once. AA will give you hope, strength, tools, and fellowship with people that get you and have been there. I recently found an app called Everything AA, which has some resources to explore.

It helped me to see alcoholism as a disease - because if you have it it is uncontrollable despite what many people think which is why step one is about accepting powerlessness over it and seeing how badly it has messed up your life. What you do have power over is whether you do something about it - and for most alcoholics that means stopping - no half measures, no farting about trying to control it or reduce it. Some people have diseases they can't do anything about, but we can find recovery.

I get how you feel, towards the end of my drinking I was fucked and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Alcoholism just gets progressively worse, and leads to pure hell and death, so it's about deciding to face it, that enough's enough. I ended up in a closed ward fitting like crazy, with bandages on my wrists, and homeless. It robs you of everything; jobs, relationships, joy, homes, friends, your self worth, health and the will to live. It is like an elevator going down into the hells, and only you can decide how low you want to go and where you decide to get off it, but all those things can be recovered.
It isn't easy, which is why so few alcoholics survive and get well, so you have to really want change, and be willing to do whatever it takes. I can see you've tried to quit, why not surrender and get to some meetings. Give it a go and make some friends - what have you got to lose? Sorry if I am being pushy, but I am giving it to you straight as in my experience you can't beat it on your own, you need support. I know AA isn't the only way, but it has saved millions and you will find people there who really want to help you get well.

Recovery is possible and can lead to a beautiful life so don't give up hope brother.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Hi I am in recovery from several addictions, including alcohol, and from reading your posts I feel like getting to AA and addressing that would be a good move for you. Alcohol is going to take away the mindfulness and discipline we need, and although it seems to help with low mood and anxiety it actually causes those things, it is a depressant. I don't think I could have done this work on porn while drinking, so you could either address alcohol first or try to take them both on at once. AA will give you hope, strength, tools, and fellowship with people that get you and have been there. I recently found an app called Everything AA, which has some resources to explore.

It helped me to see alcoholism as a disease - because if you have it it is uncontrollable despite what many people think which is why step one is about accepting powerlessness over it and seeing how badly it has messed up your life. What you do have power over is whether you do something about it - and for most alcoholics that means stopping - no half measures, no farting about trying to control it or reduce it. Some people have diseases they can't do anything about, but we can find recovery.

I get how you feel, towards the end of my drinking I was fucked and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Alcoholism just gets progressively worse, and leads to pure hell and death, so it's about deciding to face it, that enough's enough. I ended up in a closed ward fitting like crazy, with bandages on my wrists, and homeless. It robs you of everything; jobs, relationships, joy, homes, friends, your self worth, health and the will to live. It is like an elevator going down into the hells, and only you can decide how low you want to go and where you decide to get off it, but all those things can be recovered.
It isn't easy, which is why so few alcoholics survive and get well, so you have to really want change, and be willing to do whatever it takes. I can see you've tried to quit, why not surrender and get to some meetings. Give it a go and make some friends - what have you got to lose? Sorry if I am being pushy, but I am giving it to you straight as in my experience you can't beat it on your own, you need support. I know AA isn't the only way, but it has saved millions and you will find people there who really want to help you get well.

Recovery is possible and can lead to a beautiful life so don't give up hope brother.
Thanks for support.
 
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