Escape and never come back

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 0

3 PMOs. Haven't slept in 2 straight days. I thought it could be because of porn withdrawal, I was on my 4th day but I PMOed, maybe I could fall asleep. It didn't do shit. I PMOed two more times after that later today.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Day 1

3 PMOs yesterday. Two days in a row with 3 PMOs actually. I keep track in an Excel. Since May 13, I've relapsed 3 times with 3 PMOs each day. At the beginning of this month, I used to relapse with 5 and 4 PMOs in a day. The fact that I've reduced the number of PMOs by 1 isn't that big of a deal for me, I still PMO too much. In fact, this month has been a complete circus regarding my porn recovery. I don't even remember when I PMOed that much, with no resistance. I basically brought myself back to struggling with craving from day 1. Wtf happened? I've been pretty stressed out this month, maybe this is the reason. But I don't like this shit at all. I don't really know what to do, I don't have the secret formula but I want to do whatever it takes to get some abstinence from this thing first because it fucked me up too much. I walk around lethargic, unmotivated, mega anxious and depressed. How the fuck am I not supposed to feel like shit when I abuse my dopamine system with no resistance?
 

nothing

Member
I have also had days and weeks when I couldn't even remember when or how many time I had relapsed. Also feel you about the zombie mode that takes over on days like that. Perhaps shortening the time window, taking it hour by hour, might help? Or perhaps changing something about your environment?

You can get past this!
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Have you tried changing anything to get it under control?
I don't really think I have tools right now, by myself, to do something about it until this stressful period leaves me alone. I probably started jerking off violently as a reaction to this. I'm just trying to somehow stop from continuing to binge in such short periods of time.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I have also had days and weeks when I couldn't even remember when or how many time I had relapsed. Also feel you about the zombie mode that takes over on days like that. Perhaps shortening the time window, taking it hour by hour, might help? Or perhaps changing something about your environment?

You can get past this!
I know. I have a hard time to actually stop overthinking. PMO binges make me neurotic. I can't stop overthinking everything, feeling anxiety about the future, feeling overwhelmed. It seems to get better after some abstinence but this month I can't even talk about any abstinence.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
LOL. Well I guess you're just hopeless then. ;) At least until you shift your priorities.
 
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