Day 1
3 PMOs yesterday. Two days in a row with 3 PMOs actually. I keep track in an Excel. Since May 13, I've relapsed 3 times with 3 PMOs each day. At the beginning of this month, I used to relapse with 5 and 4 PMOs in a day. The fact that I've reduced the number of PMOs by 1 isn't that big of a deal for me, I still PMO too much. In fact, this month has been a complete circus regarding my porn recovery. I don't even remember when I PMOed that much, with no resistance. I basically brought myself back to struggling with craving from day 1. Wtf happened? I've been pretty stressed out this month, maybe this is the reason. But I don't like this shit at all. I don't really know what to do, I don't have the secret formula but I want to do whatever it takes to get some abstinence from this thing first because it fucked me up too much. I walk around lethargic, unmotivated, mega anxious and depressed. How the fuck am I not supposed to feel like shit when I abuse my dopamine system with no resistance?