So this is the first time I will have ever told anyone this and for me, it is a huge deal. I started watching p*rn when I was 9/10, and I'm now 20, so that's 11 years. When I was around 18 I finally realized the harm p*rn was causing me, but I never put in too much of an effort to stop watching. Around this age, I began only watching trans p*rn, and despite being completely straight, it aroused me and also, especially 'post nut', confused me, as when I was no longer horny I did not have any attraction to a woman with a penis at all. It's worth noting as well, that there is nothing wrong with attraction to trans women, however I just saw them as novel sexual objects and not as human beings, which is the problem. This then escalated to using g*indr to try and meet trans women, and this also became an addiction. When I finally said enough is enough, I bought Gary Wilsons book and I realized that, although this may be extreme, this is a completely explainable path when looking through the eyes of porn addiction. I now understand what is happening in my brain much better, however there have still been bumps in the road. I'm 14 days free now, after stints of 35 and similar lengths before.
I hope people who are experiencing or have experienced the same thing realize that they're not abnormal, and whatever you are struggling with has been experienced by thousands of others, and we can all get through this together.
I hope people who are experiencing or have experienced the same thing realize that they're not abnormal, and whatever you are struggling with has been experienced by thousands of others, and we can all get through this together.