Starting Out

[Matt1234]

Hi all,

I'm a 44 year old Male with a wife and a son. I have found myself in a situation of my own making that has hurt people I love. I am not going to pretend that I am the good guy here. As a result of my actions, I have a very low opinion of myself. I hurt people that loved me, and now my actions have caused my life to begin a very slow process of falling apart. I start this journey with a degree of hope that comes from the fact that I know this stuff is bad for me and bad for those around me. I have that advantage over this sickness. I have no excuses. I did what I did, and I have consequences that come from it. I see myself as a bad person, and I really would like to be a good person before it's too late for me. I love my wife and my kid desperately, and if they go, I have no clue what happens to me. I need to reboot.

 

[Matt1234]

I have to write this from my own perspective. Through all of this, I have done the thing that I never thought I would do. I hurt my wife. That's the problem. Now, I have lost her trust, and that is what is killing me.

 

[IrishWarrior]

I have to write this from my own perspective. Through all of this, I have done the thing that I never thought I would do. I hurt my wife. That's the problem. Now, I have lost her trust, and that is what is killing me.

Hi Matt, dont be so hard on yourself bro. We all make mistakes and are far from being perfect. Each day is a new start and you can change any bad habits with hard work and determination. It's never easy but I promise you will have such a better life after rebooting.

 

[Pinman]

Hi Matt. i'm 42 and have been addicted to porn and masturbation since i was 14. I have a wife and two kids as well. My wife knows all about my addiction but we have pretty much a sexless marriage. I try to stop porn/masturbating but don't make it more than a few days. I feel like a slave. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 3 years sobriety but this addiction for me is a whole other evil beast. I'm here for ya man.

 

[Matt1234]

Thanks very much guys. Pinman, it means a lot to know that people are out there facing the same things. I'm just focusing on the people I love and striving one day at a time. That's all we can do, but by doing the work necessary to change, any of us can do it. Be positive. There are a lot of us out

Hi Matt, dont be so hard on yourself bro. We all make mistakes and are far from being perfect. Each day is a new start and you can change any bad habits with hard work and determination. It's never easy but I promise you will have such a better life after rebooting.

Thank you for the response. There were a lot of things that contributed to this becoming unhealthy to me and my marriage. I'm trying to attack those things and also am trying to focus on the people I love. I'm hopeful and determined. I know that now. It's tough when you hurt people you love. I never thought I would get to that point. I just need to channel my stubbornness into fixing this situation and getting healthy. That's what will do it.