~The Beginning of a New Decade~
Goodbye to the teens, the heart-break and pains. Goodbye to the questions that are endlessly "why." Let's start asking, "how?" And making the time, knowing ourselves, to fulfill our deams and desires.
I have had this notebook since I was sixteen. So much growth I have gone through over these past eight years. So many heartbreaks from boys and even family and friends. These formitive years, slowly forming and shaping who I am as a person. We have also read how I see the world in all of it's beauty, all of the wonder that God has created for us. We have experienced the world, life, and my mind together. Through all of the good and all of the bad.
We have also dived into my dreams for myself now and in the future. ...
So what is it that I have learned? What things have happened recently that have taught me life lessons or changed my philosophies? What will I carry with me into this new decade of the '20s?
More heartbreak - that's old hat now. But it never keeps me from loving passionately again. Broken trust? I take care of and protect myself... but I never stop letting new people in to see me. Trust lost is better than trust never gievn. People saying they've changed? Prove it. It has to be earned back. My weak immune system and struggling health? Oh, has it taught me my own strength and determination. I had six months to sleep, dreaming of all I want to accomplish. I can feel a little better with a lot of work, but doing what I love and craving to build a legacy so I can say, " Look what God gave me the strength to do!" Oh, that gets the work done when my joints crack, and my head aches, and I have to move achingly slow because my stiff muscles are in so much pain. Although I enjoy the luxury of taking care of and pampering myself... I need to remember it is also a necessity.
I have also learned to fully seperate myself now; from my parents, the expectations of friends, church members, or lovers. I am twenty-four and finally my own woman, capable of anything and everything. I have shed the limiting and strangling mindsets of my parents and am ready to take care of my needs and build my empire. One dream at a time.
I feel that now I have regained my inherant nature I can once again, from a pure and innocent view, see the world wondrously and wildly. The purity of being an adult, making life work, and dreams come true. I just pray this is the path God has lead me to, for it is his strength that got me here alive.
Enjoy the moments, they are what bring you happiness in the end. Not so does the end itself.