Relapse?

Hi so I’m just curious. I’m in a hard morde reboot for 11 days. And today I went to visit friends at their dorm. A bunch of us decided to play cards against humanity and I was kinda forced into it even tho I didn’t want to. During a reboot I know I’m not really supposed to talk about sex or anything like that, and in card against humanity there are a bunch of sexual cards, I didn’t really think too much Into the sexual cards I just laughed and moved on. But still would this be a relapse since I’m not allowed to talk about sex?.
 
Hi so I’m just curious. I’m in a hard morde reboot for 11 days. And today I went to visit friends at their dorm. A bunch of us decided to play cards against humanity and I was kinda forced into it even tho I didn’t want to. During a reboot I know I’m not really supposed to talk about sex or anything like that, and in card against humanity there are a bunch of sexual cards, I didn’t really think too much Into the sexual cards I just laughed and moved on. But still would this be a relapse since I’m not allowed to talk about sex?.
I also forgot to add, would this have any effect on my reboot?.would it set me and my progress back?.
 

aymentech45

Member
@Michaelp362, In order to recover from porn and masturbation, you must, you must, you must avoid all sort of cues, whether It is vivid or strong because your brain will recycle it into an urge and press you to masturbate, Ultimtely slow down your progress, So man If you say hard mode, you must sacrifice all what you love for the recovery process. Give your mind rest and time to realize the dammage and get balanced.
 
@Michaelp362, In order to recover from porn and masturbation, you must, you must, you must avoid all sort of cues, whether It is vivid or strong because your brain will recycle it into an urge and press you to masturbate, Ultimtely slow down your progress, So man If you say hard mode, you must sacrifice all what you love for the recovery process. Give your mind rest and time to realize the dammage and get balanced.
Thanks for the reply it gives me a lot of insight since I’m new to this process. For the most part it’s hard mode I gave everything up, porn masturbation even anything that would give me any thoughts about it. It’s just yesterday I was forced into the game. And ultimately it was fine, reading the cards didn’t give me any thoughts or flashbacks for me it was just a laugh then I moved on.
 
@Michaelp362, In order to recover from porn and masturbation, you must, you must, you must avoid all sort of cues, whether It is vivid or strong because your brain will recycle it into an urge and press you to masturbate, Ultimtely slow down your progress, So man If you say hard mode, you must sacrifice all what you love for the recovery process. Give your mind rest and time to realize the dammage and get balanced.
Also I have been really good at this streak, I have seen a couple of unwanted pics but as soon as I relished what they were I closed it and blocked them, this was really the first time talking or joking about sex for more then 5 seconds. So I’m not sure if I should reset my timer or not.
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
Hi so I’m just curious. I’m in a hard mode reboot for 11 days. And today I went to visit friends at their dorm. A bunch of us decided to play cards against humanity and I was kinda forced into it even tho I didn’t want to. During a reboot I know I’m not really supposed to talk about sex or anything like that, and in card against humanity there are a bunch of sexual cards, I didn’t really think too much Into the sexual cards I just laughed and moved on. But still would this be a relapse since I’m not allowed to talk about sex?.
No. This is not a relapse.

First, a relapse is intentionally looking at porn (cards against humanity isn't porn. Could it be considered a cue? One could try and make that argument, but I'd disagree, as it is not reinforcing the behavior or seeking sexual content for arousal).

Second, a reboot doesn't mean you can't talk about sex. A reboot is temporarily avoiding artificial sexual stimulation (porn).

Third, no, I do not think playing a card game with your friends and socializing with real people will in any way slow down your reboot. I'd argue having a good time socializing would help your reboot.

Don't worry about it and overthink things, as long as you're avoiding intentionally arousing yourself to porn, don't sweat the other stuff and enjoy having fun with others. Hope the best for you and keep trucking. Much love.
 

aymentech45

Member
@Gabe Deem
Hello Mr;
Gary willson wrote in his book that the brain of an addict when it thinks of sex or reproduction, it thinks about fapping and a screen as a real sex, so it will do its best to push you through that habit. And Gary also adds that all the memories you made while watching porn could be cues and lead to the circle. This why I said that talking about sex or even thinking during your first days are cues and could lead to a relapse.
 
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@Gabe Deem
Hello Mr;
Gary willson wrote in his book that the brain of an addict when it thinks of sex or reproduction, it thinks about fapping and a screen as a real sex, so it will do its best to push you through that habit. And Gary also adds that all the memories you made while watching porn could be cues and lead to the circle. This why I said that talking about sex or even thinking during your first days are cues and could lead to a relapse.
I agree but also disagree. I think if you talk about sex in a healthy manner then at least for me it won’t lead me to cues or relapses. I told my friend about my addiction and her and I had a nice and healthy conversation about it and sex and relapsing didn’t cross my mind. I do think obviously if it’s not in a healthy manner then it could lead to cues and relapses. Luckily for me when I talk about sex I don’t feel any urge to watch porn or relapse, it also helps to have a really dedicated friend to help me overcome this.
 
No. This is not a relapse.

First, a relapse is intentionally looking at porn (cards against humanity isn't porn. Could it be considered a cue? One could try and make that argument, but I'd disagree, as it is not reinforcing the behavior or seeking sexual content for arousal).

Second, a reboot doesn't mean you can't talk about sex. A reboot is temporarily avoiding artificial sexual stimulation (porn).

Third, no, I do not think playing a card game with your friends and socializing with real people will in any way slow down your reboot. I'd argue having a good time socializing would help your reboot.

Don't worry about it and overthink things, as long as you're avoiding intentionally arousing yourself to porn, don't sweat the other stuff and enjoy having fun with others. Hope the best for you and keep trucking. Much love.
Thank you, this helped ease my mind a lot. I kept overthinking and now I’m all good. Another question. Do you think screen time has any effect on the reboot. I’m trying to limit my screen time and enjoy outdoors and read more and workout more. I do that but I can’t do it all day so even at 7 pm I’m left with nothing else to do since I was productive and finished everything else that day. I’m just curious on if too much screen time will have any effect on the reboot and how much screen time would be acceptable during my reboot. Thanks.
 

aymentech45

Member
I agree but also disagree. I think if you talk about sex in a healthy manner then at least for me it won’t lead me to cues or relapses. I told my friend about my addiction and her and I had a nice and healthy conversation about it and sex and relapsing didn’t cross my mind. I do think obviously if it’s not in a healthy manner then it could lead to cues and relapses. Luckily for me when I talk about sex I don’t feel any urge to watch porn or relapse, it also helps to have a really dedicated friend to help me overcome this.
Keep working bro, but be careful on the road, it's full of traps.
 
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