GBS, I absolutely get what you are saying. The one thing common among partners is that cataclysm. Many wonder if that feeling means they are going or are crazy. They wonder if that reaction is wrong. Even though there are sites like this, the “boys will be boys” thing is still common. I know after all the years that my husband and I are past that moment that it could happen again. I also know that I have times that I get triggered. Not by young girls but by a fear of abandonment. Is it a rational thought? I don’t know. This is where we partners can go, “Yes we know how it feels.” Tell us about it. There are times my husband and I do talk about it. The dark place. Why? Because porn snuck in and took control. And that is how we make sure we are connected and communicating.