Moving Forward In This Reboot
- Thread starter N89
- Start date
@astralon thank you brother
Thanks man!
Thank you!!
Day 2…….Day 1
This isn’t my first time trying to quit porn. Typically I go without watching porn for a few weeks/ maybe a month, then say just “one more time”. Then that one more turns into an hour of viewing and then the watching another the next day and so on. I’m sure y’all know this drill.
Currently I have all my devices blocked to where I can not watch porn. It’s been going good for about a 3 months. My problem is I still MO without porn now, but I MO about every other day when I know I’m not going to have sex with my wife. Sometime twice a day because I don’t have access to porn.
Recently about couple weeks ago I discovered I never blocked one of my devices. Told myself AGAIN “just one more time”. So it’s been a couple of weeks of now PMO and yesterday I came across this site. Definitely brought some attention to me and figured let’s try this again.
Last year I asked a friend to be my accountability partner which he agreed. He actually opened up and confused he needed one himself. We both agreed to keep each other accountable. It went good for a good period of time….There are things i will write more about my past accountability partner and also questions I have about Other people’s experiences with accountability partners another time. Guess I’m saving it so I can have something to write about another time so I continue writing in this journal.
I guess I should speak the truth on here. Day 1 (yesterday) after reading a lot of journals and seeing men say day 30, day 50, day 102, even read a guy congratulating on another guy on his 11 months, I still broke down and MO. After reading so many days without guys PMO or MO I don’t know if I caved because I’m mad I haven’t made it yet or realizing I really have a problem. So today marks my day 1 I guess and I’m still going strong.
I know if I continue writing I will figure a lot of this out. Support, advice, tough love …. Give it to the new guy!
N
This isn’t my first time trying to quit porn. Typically I go without watching porn for a few weeks/ maybe a month, then say just “one more time”. Then that one more turns into an hour of viewing and then the watching another the next day and so on. I’m sure y’all know this drill.
Currently I have all my devices blocked to where I can not watch porn. It’s been going good for about a 3 months. My problem is I still MO without porn now, but I MO about every other day when I know I’m not going to have sex with my wife. Sometime twice a day because I don’t have access to porn.
Recently about couple weeks ago I discovered I never blocked one of my devices. Told myself AGAIN “just one more time”. So it’s been a couple of weeks of now PMO and yesterday I came across this site. Definitely brought some attention to me and figured let’s try this again.
Last year I asked a friend to be my accountability partner which he agreed. He actually opened up and confused he needed one himself. We both agreed to keep each other accountable. It went good for a good period of time….There are things i will write more about my past accountability partner and also questions I have about Other people’s experiences with accountability partners another time. Guess I’m saving it so I can have something to write about another time so I continue writing in this journal.
I guess I should speak the truth on here. Day 1 (yesterday) after reading a lot of journals and seeing men say day 30, day 50, day 102, even read a guy congratulating on another guy on his 11 months, I still broke down and MO. After reading so many days without guys PMO or MO I don’t know if I caved because I’m mad I haven’t made it yet or realizing I really have a problem. So today marks my day 1 I guess and I’m still going strong.
I know if I continue writing I will figure a lot of this out. Support, advice, tough love …. Give it to the new guy!
N
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SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Keep it up bro! When you surpass your cravings life becomes SO much better!
Day 2
Did pretty well yesterday. Morning was tough for a moment, but remembered to stay focused. Had a couple of moments where I wanted to MO and my focus came back like it did in the morning. After almost messing up the 2nd time, I came on here and started reading. Weirdly it helped when reading other people’s journals.
N
Did pretty well yesterday. Morning was tough for a moment, but remembered to stay focused. Had a couple of moments where I wanted to MO and my focus came back like it did in the morning. After almost messing up the 2nd time, I came on here and started reading. Weirdly it helped when reading other people’s journals.
N
Paul Blart
Member
@N89 way to go man. I think the encouragement of seeing so many other fight this fight does bring strength in our own battles. You mentioned your wife - do you tell her whenever you PMO or MO? This is coming from someone who kept this all hidden for years so I'm not exactly a beacon of truth here but I am committing myself to telling my wife anytime I slip up from here on out. Keeping it hidden from the person you are closest to will only make it easier to fall back into the cycle. Rooting for you man!
Unfortunately, I have been a coward for 12 years of knowing my wife and I have never confessed to her when I PMO. Like you, I’m moving forward this week. Hopefully I will never have to be a coward again or ever have to confess to her I have watched porn today.
Day 3
Writing for yesterday and hopefully I will write tonight to stay up on my days on here.
Feeling good about this change and would of messed up already if it wasn’t for this journal. Thanks for all the encouragement and time from you all. Still going strong and no urges today! Been keeping busy. Again I will try to write tonight about today to stay ahead on my journal.
Writing for yesterday and hopefully I will write tonight to stay up on my days on here.
Feeling good about this change and would of messed up already if it wasn’t for this journal. Thanks for all the encouragement and time from you all. Still going strong and no urges today! Been keeping busy. Again I will try to write tonight about today to stay ahead on my journal.
Paul Blart
Member
Well done man, keep the battle going, and submit this to God every new day.
Day 5
Yesterday went good again. At night I got a little urge to MO, but didn’t last long
Today day 5 I have had big urges to MO. My triggers right now are morning woods. Last couple of days I have been able to pass through them. This morning lasted longer than usual. Thinking this is my brain telling me I’m due to MO. I am not on a hard reboot. I am strictly not MO or PMO. Only wifey … not sure the abbreviation for this lol. Fought a couple more random urges but still going strong and keeping busy. Been a while since I have gone 30 days. Right now keeping 30 days my number but I know I will go further.
Yesterday went good again. At night I got a little urge to MO, but didn’t last long
Today day 5 I have had big urges to MO. My triggers right now are morning woods. Last couple of days I have been able to pass through them. This morning lasted longer than usual. Thinking this is my brain telling me I’m due to MO. I am not on a hard reboot. I am strictly not MO or PMO. Only wifey … not sure the abbreviation for this lol. Fought a couple more random urges but still going strong and keeping busy. Been a while since I have gone 30 days. Right now keeping 30 days my number but I know I will go further.
Day 8
1 week in and still going strong with No PMO OR MO. Last couple of days I Definitely had some strong urges. Tried to keep my mind cleared to where it wouldn’t lead me to wanting to do anything. NRB are occurring which doesn’t help with keeping my mind focus. In all been struggling but still able to write day 8 on here.
1 week in and still going strong with No PMO OR MO. Last couple of days I Definitely had some strong urges. Tried to keep my mind cleared to where it wouldn’t lead me to wanting to do anything. NRB are occurring which doesn’t help with keeping my mind focus. In all been struggling but still able to write day 8 on here.
Day 9
This morning was easier. Normal morning wood and it didn’t last long. This afternoon has been tough. Felt like I should write to keep my motivation up and not haing to write Day 0 tomorrow. I still want to succeed with this journey by not reverting back to porn but I have been having moments where I just want to watch something. It got to the point today where I started to make myself get hard by fantasizing from past videos. Got to the point where I was almost fully hard and started to head to the bathroom. Got to the bathroom and started to M. Got about 10 strokes in and stopped which normally does not happen.
The people on here that have accountably partners, would you had contacted your accountability partner before this would have happened or after? If so, how would they have helped you? Or if you have been an accountability partner to someone, how would you have helped?
To give you a back story, I asked my buddy to be my accountability partner about 3 months ago. Made him aware that I struggle with PMO & MO and asked him for help and keep my accountable. He was more than willing to help if I need him. I hit him up maybe 3 times times but never said I was struggling at that time. We would just start talking or texting about other things. Which don’t get me wrong it helped to get my mind off wanting to view porn. This accountability partner thing has been difficult for me to hit him up and really say I’m struggling when I do. Idk, Think I’m embarrassed to make it known to him I still struggle. Or think since I stopped (like today) do I start telling him these things.
I know I should start really communicating with my accountability partner but would love to hear if anyone else struggled with anyone of this or how much you really contact your accountability partner.
This morning was easier. Normal morning wood and it didn’t last long. This afternoon has been tough. Felt like I should write to keep my motivation up and not haing to write Day 0 tomorrow. I still want to succeed with this journey by not reverting back to porn but I have been having moments where I just want to watch something. It got to the point today where I started to make myself get hard by fantasizing from past videos. Got to the point where I was almost fully hard and started to head to the bathroom. Got to the bathroom and started to M. Got about 10 strokes in and stopped which normally does not happen.
The people on here that have accountably partners, would you had contacted your accountability partner before this would have happened or after? If so, how would they have helped you? Or if you have been an accountability partner to someone, how would you have helped?
To give you a back story, I asked my buddy to be my accountability partner about 3 months ago. Made him aware that I struggle with PMO & MO and asked him for help and keep my accountable. He was more than willing to help if I need him. I hit him up maybe 3 times times but never said I was struggling at that time. We would just start talking or texting about other things. Which don’t get me wrong it helped to get my mind off wanting to view porn. This accountability partner thing has been difficult for me to hit him up and really say I’m struggling when I do. Idk, Think I’m embarrassed to make it known to him I still struggle. Or think since I stopped (like today) do I start telling him these things.
I know I should start really communicating with my accountability partner but would love to hear if anyone else struggled with anyone of this or how much you really contact your accountability partner.
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
How's the reboot going bro?