Dealing with Shame, PIED and Addiction!

N

Nico

Active Member
Watching Dr Trish Leigh (thanks TAN!) and a video about healing your brain from porn, and want to share some of the learning and reflections from watching it:

1. The key is commitment. Sounds obvious, and is similar to what I keep calling motivation. Commitment sounds more serious though, more solid, because motivation will wax and wane with energy levels and mood, but a commitment brings to mind a sacred bond with myself to create a better life, better sex, and a better self. Find your motivator for commitment and revisit it often.

2. Then she says knowledge and action steps - learning about the problem, getting on here and reading and sharing, working recovery (for me this involves meditation, journalling public and privately, focusing on what I want and who I want to be. Learning to deal with stress or other emotions differently - interrupting patterns. There may be withdrawals, anxiety, interrupted sleep, porn dreams - showing the brain craving that dopamine deluge. Early recovery is about coping with a dopamine deficit, or what feels like one after the flooding from porn addiction, and finding new ways to feel good and a new sense of purpose. Relapse is a sign your brain can't take it, or the commitment has become more fluid. So after relapse I have to revisit and solidify the commitment, and refocus on what I can do to make it easier to cope with the dopamine levels etc

3. Support - again I find journalling on here gives me that and an opportunity to give support to others. I feel less confident helping others right now due to a string of failures, but we all have something worth sharing I guess! Reading journals on here makes me feel inspired, gives a sense of brotherhood and shared battles, and I love the way we encourage each other on here. Maybe 12 step groups or a coach or therapist, but i have a few friends I can talk to about this stuff which helps.

4. Plan - strategies and alternatives. Reading threads on here gives me ideas, but for me these are distraction at first (whatever it takes - movies, games, getting outside etc) then more healthy alternatives that build me up like exercise, dancing (and connection with friends and women) meditation, hypnosis, time in nature, writing, and maybe later ways to do healthy M if I haven’t got a chance to have sex (dangerous, but I also want to retrain my body) This time I am trying hard mode again and really want to do the 90 days. It feels overwhelming, but am just trying to keep it in the day. I am very aware how crazy I felt after 40 days, and will just have to make sure my commitment is rock solid and that I actually act on the strategies and keep that up.

5. Celebrating small victories. Each time we avoid acting out there is a small dopamine hit, sure its nothing compared to the dopamine feast porn can give, but it also comes with dignity and self-respect. I am going to start the habit of kind of reviewing the day before sleep, hopefully congratulating myself, reflecting on the feelings that arose, strategies I used, temptations overcame, trying to get that small hit and tune into self respect, but also focusing on gratitude and the gift I am giving myself and all the people (and resources) who help me give it. Gratitude can lead to a lovely feeling, so I am guessing its a fantastic dopamine substitute that helps us feel good about ourselves and our life and feel positive.
 
N

Nico

Active Member
Happy New Year to all on this journey. 2 weeks. Nice, ok I have been here before but actually feel more proud of myself this time for no concrete reason! It feels like a strong start to 2023, and am making a commitment to myself. I went dancing last night for the first time in a while after covid and overtime and all that, and can hardly walk today. It was a lot of fun, with some nice connections, and in the ritual I reinforced what I want to let go of and move towards, felt moving and strong.
Ive joined in the photo thing and will leave it up a few hours as I am late to the party, this was hiking last year in Greece, god I want to go back there right now!! Hopefully 2023 sees big changes and frees me up to spend some time somewhere beautiful like that, i really come alive in warmer places where i can swim and enjoy nature. There were all these amazing electric blue butterflies by the rivers I hiked, and I loved being able to swim every day. I hope to manifest a lovely partner I can travel with and maybe move there some time and leave my job and fatigue and this strange isolated period behind.
I was meant to have a date today but train cancellations..so its disappointing as I am in need of some touch, but will enjoy a quiet day, and getting to day 15 is all that matters. I might journal more later as I have a bit of a headache - not a hangover thank the lord, haven't had one of those for a long time but rather from throwing myself into raving. I was a raver in the early 90s in london, and now see that so much of the ecstasy was actually natural, from music, dance, and everyone around me loving it. I am pleased as I have taken off a lot of weight since starting on here, and its going to continue!! Here's to a fit, strong, porn free 2023!
 
N

Nico

Active Member
15. It feels like the restlessness has passed for now, which is a relief as I need good sleeps. I found myself doing some light M last night, already getting good erections, but stopped myself way before real arousal. I think its partly about wanting to explore and retrain my turn-ons to purely great sex fantasies and feel more trust in my erection. Dangerous? I am not sure really.
None of that today as am at work overnight, so its just about getting to tomorrow unscathed. I could PMO at work and have in the past on sleep-in shifts, but its less tempting than at home. All that matters is another day in recovery, another day where I do some meditation and learning or studying to help my recovery and mindset.
 
N

Nico

Active Member
16. Have to do a lot of driving today, about 7 hours, so I expect I am going to be tired tonight which is a danger zone for me. I have to be brief this morning but no temptations, although I did get a text from my obsession saying she missed me so much which got my mind going back down pathways I am trying not to go down, or obsessing over why it didn't work which is a loooong story. I can't remember how much i wrote about it, and it doesn't matter now.
I will journal later tonight probably, and all that matters is getting through tonight, whatever it takes, however I have to distract myself! Ideally I will do healthy spiritual things, but I know what i am like when I am exhausted so a nap and hypnosis might be the limit!! Wishing everyone a good porn free day :)
 
N

Nico

Active Member
17. A lot of temptations last night, I am damned horny. I did not succumb, but my sleep was broken again, waking up after just a few hours. I am not sure if its a branch Ive been noticing scratching my window, or whether it's dreams..dreams that speak to trauma or wounding and I wake up feeling disturbed. I might write more about the content and feeling another time as I am running late this morning.

Anyway, I am late, and all that matters is getting to day 18 and I bloody well will!
 
N

Nico

Active Member
18. I was idly playing last night and thought of someone who is messaging me, and came, wasn't even doing M really and couldn't stop it like I often can. Quite annoying, wasn't great, more like a sneeze. It feels like yet another failure. She still has a hold over me damn it. Oh well, there was no porn so still going strong on that front. The 90 day hard mode looms ever more unreachable in my mind..but today I will leave the damn thing alone. I don't really see the point in setting up 2 counters, but I am going forward with the intention of doing my best not to get into regular M and trying to reboot and reset. I still find this whole debate confusing but my main goal is porn free and having good sex that is certain.

Being back on the wagon I feel a little confidence returning, its nice just to know I am trying again and doing something that is going to change my life. I feel more positive in general despite last night and am brainstorming ways to get my business going and be able to at least reduce my hours because my job is so draining. Listening to a great audiobook - Supercoach by Michael Neill (a coach who bases his material on wellbeing and spiritual principles) which is mainly about coaching yourself but is inspiring me to learn more coaching skills.

So, all that matters today is getting safe and sound to 19.
 
N

Nico

Active Member
20. Hanging in there, terrible headache today, but also excited today because have a lady coming over tomorrow. I have been tempted the last few days and a few peeks crept in before I shut them down in disgust. It happens when I am exhausted, late at night, I kind of just open pages on auto, then have to slap myself and get to bed. Tiredness is the number one risk for me, brain fog, not able to think clearly or fight compulsions. It seems obvious that I should be closing me eyes and maybe putting on a guided sleep hypnosis instead. The risky thought patterns are also becoming clearer - like convincing myself I can't do this at the moment, single, with fatigue issues..I know this is just a story and is BS, but its the kind of thinking that can override the motivation and I need to own that.
Although I am looking forward to tomorrow I do also have some anxiety around getting intimate. i suppose if things don't go well that could be a trigger, but also if it goes well but we don't take it that far this could also be a trigger as I will be horny etc. Anyway I will deal with what comes up tomorrow, and have motivation to abstain tonight! I intended to dance tonight but headache might keep me in. I danced last night and loved it, despite being exhausted and really having to battle to get there. This lady there who was asking me for coffee last year wants to meet next weekend, its just ironic that suddenly there are options as I am accustomed to drought conditions! It is taking my mind off the obsession though which is good as that was really pressing my buttons again. It will be 21 days tomorrow, another nice little milestone which I will try to celebrate and affirm myself for.
 
Simon2

Simon2

Well-Known Member
Stay clean and focus on your lady! :) Doesn't matter how far you get tomorrow - it'll be even sweeter if it progresses slowly and you stay clean throughout! Good luck brother!
 
N

Nico

Active Member
22. Was a nice way to get to 3 weeks yesterday, I won't go into details but had a good time! This definitely doesn't mean that the work is over or anything, and I know I took a blue pill to help with things, so I am still committed to this work and recovery and feel there is still a long way to go to really restore my confidence. It took a while to drop my anxiety/defences and receive pleasure but I got there, it might sound odd, but receiving has always been difficult for me and it was only in my last serious relationship where I learned how.

I need to be careful, as I have noticed some interesting thoughts about whether it was really so much better than PMO. This might be because there are complexities to this connection; i stopped seeing her in early autumn because I was sure I was going to hurt her. We started talking again in Dec, as both of us were sick and isolating, and she says she wants a kind of FWB situation and that she really wants me as a friend. I do like her and enjoy her company but atm I don't see this as a serious or long term thing. I have been questioning myself about this, but have been honest so I don't think I am doing anything wrong or unethical even if I have other dates lined up (as does she actually) or connections that I am exploring. I suppose this kind of worry, about hurting people or getting hurt is why PMO almost seems more attractive, but it isn't and I did love touch after months of not having any, and the oxytocin hit. I suppose I can't let over-analysis lead to paralysis..

In terms of life and work, and goals, I need to take action this week. Every conversation I have seems to point towards me lowering my hours and trying to start getting clients - but I don't feel ready to do that until I have sorted out my marketing and offerings and attracting a couple of clients at least. So self care, energy levels, and taking steps towards that goal is a big priority, but not as important as avoiding any chaser effect, staying clean today and getting to day 23.
 
N

Nico

Active Member
23. No temptations yesterday at all, just at work. I was woken up very early this morning so being tired tonight is going to be a bit of a danger zone.
I had a really hectic busy day, so just got home now and I am feeling tempted. So I will just write it out and perhaps do a relaxation hypnosis or something. As I think about it, its just a desire to unwind and destress, so meditation or hypnosis should help, or a good movie!
 
N

Nico

Active Member
24. Ok so last night was challenging, and a certain someone sent me a pic of her, which led me to look at some other pics she's sent me..and this all led to some M - not porn, but definitely fantasy. I tried to disengage and be in sensation with some success. Slippery slope, as I really want to see her now and indulge in fetish with her. Oh well, back to the inner work we go, and celebrate not jacking off to porn. I will get to day 25 - I am bloody tired again, so tonight will be another danger zone. I wonder if thats a story, if I am setting myself up for struggle by telling myself its going to be tough, or whether it is good awareness of mental states and triggers...
 
N

Nico

Active Member
25. Last night turned out to be easier than expected, although I have woken up out of sorts and frustrated. I have to do some inner work and question myself about a few things and explore them, and was going to do it in a private journal mainly out of shame. So warning - long, deep, messy, verbal vomit type of post!

When I started this I was struggling to pull away from a woman who shares my fetishes, and despite the connection being toxic in so many ways to me, my health and recovery, I keep getting pulled back, and she wants to meet up again. Yet I feel, again, breadcrumbed, and this frustrates me but also seems to feed my obsession. There is a power imbalance, and I often wonder if she is a narcissist or worse in terms of how she treats me. So why does all this turn me on so bloody much (apart from the obvious chemistry, attraction and rare shared fetish?) Many of my more serious relationships have been with much kinder souls, but this one is probably like my mother - and I am in this state of doubting if I am wanted, not feeling like I am enough for her, or hoping for more attention..and it plays on my emotions. Ofc I am no longer an infant, and have agency, but when it comes to her I completely lose power and sanity in a way, which is hot in itself. The inner child takes over my will and resolution and screams for what it wants. We have even explored the mummy domme kind of dynamic, which we both love, and acting out breastfeeding scenarios (I wasn't breastfed, in fact my mother went abroad for work for most of my first year in life)

Initially a psychosexual therapist I was seeing, recommended I explore things with her, and suggested it could be therapeutic. I know I still want to 'explore' more with her, and have a deep attraction. We want different things though, and the distance makes it difficult to regularly hang out together. Although it seems as if she is controlling me, I realise that I want to control her by wishing she was more up for commitment and intimacy. She is very very popular on the sites related to the fetish, with loads of guys desperate for her attention, and she loves it, and sells content now which she wasn't doing when we first met. I wonder if this is narcissistic supply, and I am just another pawn - she knows how much power she has over me and it's all part of the fetish, but she has always been very attracted to me as well.
So if I hope she will change, I am trying to control her, or the connection, and consequently am controlled - I have known this since early recovery (serenity prayer) If I want someone to do this or change that, its easy for my emotions to become controlled by whether or not they do so. I want more attention and commitment, and when it doesn't happen it affects my moods. So if I try to control I end up controlled, karma really. And the insanity is, that if she did change and wanted LTR, it would probably be quite dangerous for me unless we found a way to moderate the fetish.

Its also interesting that this is arising again at a time when it seems that some great connections are arising locally and at some point I know I will need to choose. I can't in good conscience start a serious relationship and keep feeding this obsession which is one of the reasons the FWB situation is attractive. It is also at a time where i have become a little tired of dieting and all the discipline that has taken, and I have been naughtier with food recently which goes hand in hand with the fetish situation.

I realise all this must be frustrating to read, it is frustrating to keep experiencing this crazy attraction and rollercoaster ride. I don't need to be advised to cut her off again, a part of me knows I should, but if I look at her or read past chats, my heart races and I want it so much. She is far more arousing than any porn, and yet I suppose it's like a porn substitute, which is justifiable because despite the complexities it's still a real connection. I am trying to use this complexity to unravel and understand the depths of trauma and wounding in me I suppose, which are the roots of my alcoholism, and other addictions. This connection appears to be a powerful mirror. Its showing me how I recreate early life dynamics with my mother, yearning for love, nurture and attention but not really getting it. In my higher self or soul, a healthier love is what I truly desire, not this dark twisted version. I need to find other ways of soothing or meeting the needs of that inner child, even if I feel like beating him out of frustration like my dad used to!

Anyway, its helpful to get this out and explore it even if it feels like oversharing or exposing too much. I don't want to get lost in self examination or psychology, but it is clearly a huge part of my addictions. Clearly I either accept the way it is with her or walk away if it brings pain, and it does and has before. I am sure it reflects relating patterns, and my relationship to the feminine and to my anima, and I feel called to reconnect with meditating on the buddhist figure of Tara, a bodhisattva of compassion, a healthy goddess figure who can be like a mother. It used to be my go to way of working in the mythic/imaginal/subconscious, with my relationship to woman and anima. At least that feels like something I can try, as I often have no idea how to meet this trauma and move forward. Perhaps also trying to mother myself more, trying to give myself what I really need - and improve my self care, which has always been so difficult for me.

All that aside, I am limping towards a month PMO free, which feels really good, and today I will go to work. I have a new client who is 8 months clean of heroin, and is exactly the kind of person I do this job for, as he wants to stay clean. So I feel a little more interested by my job at the moment having worked for so long with people who are stuck and not ready to change. Focusing on doing something for someone else is so important to recovery for me, and service has always helped me stay sober. I will do some meditation tonight, perhaps on Tara, and make sure I get safely through till tomorrow! Fuck porn.
 
N

Nico

Active Member
But I feel like also focusing on gratitude. Previous addictions saw me bouncing around locked wards and cells, sleeping rough, being a nightmare for those that care about me, trying to take my life - and so this stuff, is all still an improvement! Its like a deeper layer of the healing that I can give myself. I have my sobriety, somewhere to live, good people in my life, this forum and the amazing folk here, access to food and water, a car, an income, and some semblance of self-esteem and sanity, sort of haha. I am slowly getting fitter and slimmer. I am grateful for meditation, dancing, and all the amazing books and resources that are out there. I have opportunities to grow and develop myself, and a real chance to create a life of love, happiness, service, and inner freedom if not outer as well. The inner work I have already done makes me able to help others struggling with addictions or mental health, so the more I do the more I have to offer. So I am grateful for the skills I have and the chance to develop them, and how this can give meaning or purpose to my life..
 
Beautiful1973

Beautiful1973

Active Member
@Nico I’ve just started reading a new book called Mating in Captivity by Ester Perel, it’s about unlocking erotic intelligence, she talks quite a bit how we become the lovers we are, based on the love & connections with our Mothers….. super interesting!
I think you’ll find that attraction to Miss M is deep rooted in your relationship with your Mother. You have this gorgeous sexual seductress, that’s showing you care and attention through your fetish, yet there’s a large element of her being unattainable, she’s unwilling to commit, lives far away, desired by multiple men and using her sexuality as a transaction……is there some safety from abandonment in this scenario???
We can chat more via message if you want xx
 
TakeActionNow

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Nico said:
But I feel like also focusing on gratitude. Previous addictions saw me bouncing around locked wards and cells, sleeping rough, being a nightmare for those that care about me, trying to take my life - and so this stuff, is all still an improvement! Its like a deeper layer of the healing that I can give myself. I have my sobriety, somewhere to live, good people in my life, this forum and the amazing folk here, access to food and water, a car, an income, and some semblance of self-esteem and sanity, sort of haha. I am slowly getting fitter and slimmer. I am grateful for meditation, dancing, and all the amazing books and resources that are out there. I have opportunities to grow and develop myself, and a real chance to create a life of love, happiness, service, and inner freedom if not outer as well. The inner work I have already done makes me able to help others struggling with addictions or mental health, so the more I do the more I have to offer. So I am grateful for the skills I have and the chance to develop them, and how this can give meaning or purpose to my life..
Click to expand...
@Nico, thanks for sharing. It has given me much pause for thought.

I'm glad you're moving on to gratitude. But one additional powerful motivator is recognizing how good you already are.

I distinctly remember a career coach once mentioned to me " you have 20 yrs experience. That's huge!" It's true and i never thought of it that way. I only saw the negatives of how some of my career choices were poor. I didn't think that all those years actually meant I also have a wealth of experience.

Don't discount yourself.
Magnify your strengths.

It's clear you are a popular and attractive guy. Your words show so.
It's clear you have a heart for your clients and you're good at what you do.

Focus on your positives and your unique abilities. It will bring you strength and help you make better choices because your self worth is higher and you deserve to match better people with yourself.
 
Last edited:
TakeActionNow

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
Nico said:
25. Last night turned out to be easier than expected, although I have woken up out of sorts and frustrated. I have to do some inner work and question myself about a few things and explore them, and was going to do it in a private journal mainly out of shame. So warning - long, deep, messy, verbal vomit type of post!

When I started this I was struggling to pull away from a woman who shares my fetishes, and despite the connection being toxic in so many ways to me, my health and recovery, I keep getting pulled back, and she wants to meet up again. Yet I feel, again, breadcrumbed, and this frustrates me but also seems to feed my obsession. There is a power imbalance, and I often wonder if she is a narcissist or worse in terms of how she treats me. So why does all this turn me on so bloody much (apart from the obvious chemistry, attraction and rare shared fetish?) Many of my more serious relationships have been with much kinder souls, but this one is probably like my mother - and I am in this state of doubting if I am wanted, not feeling like I am enough for her, or hoping for more attention..and it plays on my emotions. Ofc I am no longer an infant, and have agency, but when it comes to her I completely lose power and sanity in a way, which is hot in itself. The inner child takes over my will and resolution and screams for what it wants. We have even explored the mummy domme kind of dynamic, which we both love, and acting out breastfeeding scenarios (I wasn't breastfed, in fact my mother went abroad for work for most of my first year in life)

Initially a psychosexual therapist I was seeing, recommended I explore things with her, and suggested it could be therapeutic. I know I still want to 'explore' more with her, and have a deep attraction. We want different things though, and the distance makes it difficult to regularly hang out together. Although it seems as if she is controlling me, I realise that I want to control her by wishing she was more up for commitment and intimacy. She is very very popular on the sites related to the fetish, with loads of guys desperate for her attention, and she loves it, and sells content now which she wasn't doing when we first met. I wonder if this is narcissistic supply, and I am just another pawn - she knows how much power she has over me and it's all part of the fetish, but she has always been very attracted to me as well.
So if I hope she will change, I am trying to control her, or the connection, and consequently am controlled - I have known this since early recovery (serenity prayer) If I want someone to do this or change that, its easy for my emotions to become controlled by whether or not they do so. I want more attention and commitment, and when it doesn't happen it affects my moods. So if I try to control I end up controlled, karma really. And the insanity is, that if she did change and wanted LTR, it would probably be quite dangerous for me unless we found a way to moderate the fetish.

Its also interesting that this is arising again at a time when it seems that some great connections are arising locally and at some point I know I will need to choose. I can't in good conscience start a serious relationship and keep feeding this obsession which is one of the reasons the FWB situation is attractive. It is also at a time where i have become a little tired of dieting and all the discipline that has taken, and I have been naughtier with food recently which goes hand in hand with the fetish situation.

I realise all this must be frustrating to read, it is frustrating to keep experiencing this crazy attraction and rollercoaster ride. I don't need to be advised to cut her off again, a part of me knows I should, but if I look at her or read past chats, my heart races and I want it so much. She is far more arousing than any porn, and yet I suppose it's like a porn substitute, which is justifiable because despite the complexities it's still a real connection. I am trying to use this complexity to unravel and understand the depths of trauma and wounding in me I suppose, which are the roots of my alcoholism, and other addictions. This connection appears to be a powerful mirror. Its showing me how I recreate early life dynamics with my mother, yearning for love, nurture and attention but not really getting it. In my higher self or soul, a healthier love is what I truly desire, not this dark twisted version. I need to find other ways of soothing or meeting the needs of that inner child, even if I feel like beating him out of frustration like my dad used to!

Anyway, its helpful to get this out and explore it even if it feels like oversharing or exposing too much. I don't want to get lost in self examination or psychology, but it is clearly a huge part of my addictions. Clearly I either accept the way it is with her or walk away if it brings pain, and it does and has before. I am sure it reflects relating patterns, and my relationship to the feminine and to my anima, and I feel called to reconnect with meditating on the buddhist figure of Tara, a bodhisattva of compassion, a healthy goddess figure who can be like a mother. It used to be my go to way of working in the mythic/imaginal/subconscious, with my relationship to woman and anima. At least that feels like something I can try, as I often have no idea how to meet this trauma and move forward. Perhaps also trying to mother myself more, trying to give myself what I really need - and improve my self care, which has always been so difficult for me.

All that aside, I am limping towards a month PMO free, which feels really good, and today I will go to work. I have a new client who is 8 months clean of heroin, and is exactly the kind of person I do this job for, as he wants to stay clean. So I feel a little more interested by my job at the moment having worked for so long with people who are stuck and not ready to change. Focusing on doing something for someone else is so important to recovery for me, and service has always helped me stay sober. I will do some meditation tonight, perhaps on Tara, and make sure I get safely through till tomorrow! Fuck porn.
Click to expand...

Often in the depths of addiction, we are sucked into a RS that maybe unhealthy for us because we are craving so badly.

Notice that these decision making are mostly emotional based. There is little logic.

So let's force some logic into the equation and see if it fits our long term agenda.

Because of you I thought of my 6P of purchasing and assess how good a relationship it is that we bought ourselves in.

Perhaps you can have a go.
As long as costs outweigh benefits, the investment is bad.

Addiction is a high price short term performance that brings about long term pain and penalty. So is a bad relationship.

Per my last message,
You are a popular and attractive guy. Don't discount your advantages!
Don't be a slave to your weaknesses!
Use your strengths and attract the best of the best!

My weakness is distraction.
It has kept me from success.
Is your weakess keeping you from success?

What is a bad relationship?
She knows your weaknesses and she abuse it to her advantage.
Read: she doesn't give a shit about you.

What is a good relationship?
She knows your weaknesses and helps you overcome them. She has your welfare at heart.
Read: she cares about you.

Make that distinction.

We are well past child stage and are adults now. We should be taking care of ourselves and people, instead of focusing on others to take care of us.

Take best care of yourself so that you can live the best of your life!
 
Last edited:
N

Nico

Active Member
26. Thanks for the comments - and yes food for thought. Popular is a bit of a stretch as I am more inclined to being a hermit tbh, but I love what you said TAN about healthy choices coming from a healthy self regard. I consented to that treatment partly out of low worth, neediness and unconscious or semi conscious patterns, and partly pure attraction and lust. It is true that I deserve and want better and can make wiser decisions. I certainly don't need her, or any relationship really, but especially I don't need porn! Also, as Beautiful says, its about mother really - and I stopped psychotherapy around her when she died but perhaps need to revisit that. Or at least start writing better stories for my life, and it's also a good tip to take stock of our value and experience, and magnify strengths, this will help my work life.

It was a good reflective day yesterday, and was reading some of 'No More Mr Nice Guy' which was interesting and provoked reflection as well. I listened to some hypnosis getting off to sleep, one about mothering which made me a little emotional.

Right, much as I would love to drivel on I have a really hectic day, managed to get about 5 hours sleep, but hope to nap after work then go dancing. All that matters is getting through to Saturday, and also, TFIF :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top