27. Not going to lie, I am going through a big temptation zone. It's the usual crap - exhaustion, and a slight headache. Was up late again last night. Dance was tough last night, my calf is still sore and my fitness seems to have dropped over the last month or so, probably because I was sick a lot in December. I am still down 3.5-4 stone, which is about 50+ pounds, which is a relief as my discipline has been faltering a bit and have had temptations to act out with food. I thought I might have gained actually but am still on track.
It's all good - just writing this is enough to activate the resolve to keep going, pushing through porn and food/acting out cravings. It helps me get in touch with the part of myself that wants to be better, that wants health, love, and a little more of my vision of what success is. I may journal more later as I have an empty day till this evening. If I was normal, I would probably be going out and doing things, but I don't feel like it - I am knackered and not normal lol. Today I am going to try to do one thing, one step to grow my business - people have been asking me for sessions which is a good sign. And one thing for wellbeing - a meditation session and a dance later.
I have to get through to 28. Having to reset my counter yet again could easily make me feel like giving up trying to give up, as it did for a while before this effort. I am so sick and tired of the cycle of fight and fail, but can feel the weakness in me - hopefully its just being tired though so just need to rest and look after myself, distract however I have to, and get out and dance again tonight.
It's all good - just writing this is enough to activate the resolve to keep going, pushing through porn and food/acting out cravings. It helps me get in touch with the part of myself that wants to be better, that wants health, love, and a little more of my vision of what success is. I may journal more later as I have an empty day till this evening. If I was normal, I would probably be going out and doing things, but I don't feel like it - I am knackered and not normal lol. Today I am going to try to do one thing, one step to grow my business - people have been asking me for sessions which is a good sign. And one thing for wellbeing - a meditation session and a dance later.
I have to get through to 28. Having to reset my counter yet again could easily make me feel like giving up trying to give up, as it did for a while before this effort. I am so sick and tired of the cycle of fight and fail, but can feel the weakness in me - hopefully its just being tired though so just need to rest and look after myself, distract however I have to, and get out and dance again tonight.