What should I do?

So I’m on a hard mode reboot and today I’m on day 27, I got incredibly horny and I talked to a girl about having sex with her. I said literally 3 sexual lines to her and figured I should stop before it got out of hand. The thing is she was online ( she lives relatively close to me ) but it was online, and I know I shouldn’t say sexual things like that during my reboot. I know this isn’t porn and most likely isn’t a relapse but will this effect my reboot or anything?.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
i have experience with this because this for the past several years has been my addiction more than watching videos. sexual talking like this (over text im assuming) can be incredibly addicting. I was going to websites and chatting with gay dudes just because of how raunchy they are especially when trying to seduce a straight guy like myself. I was at the point were i was either doing that or going to websites of similar theme and just reading the comments and getting off to those.

In my opinion, all artificial sexual stimuli should be avoided. completely dissociate sexuality with screens, fantasies, texting, etc. anything that is not a real life person in front of you. Please take this seriously. I have serious problems because of this addiction and dont ever try to reason with yourself (because your addicted brain will once you get cravings) that "it's a real person on the other end so it is okay" or " this is just sexual text conversation it isnt pornography". Biggest mistake i ever made.
 
i have experience with this because this for the past several years has been my addiction more than watching videos. sexual talking like this (over text im assuming) can be incredibly addicting. I was going to websites and chatting with gay dudes just because of how raunchy they are especially when trying to seduce a straight guy like myself. I was at the point were i was either doing that or going to websites of similar theme and just reading the comments and getting off to those.

In my opinion, all artificial sexual stimuli should be avoided. completely dissociate sexuality with screens, fantasies, texting, etc. anything that is not a real life person in front of you. Please take this seriously. I have serious problems because of this addiction and dont ever try to reason with yourself (because your addicted brain will once you get cravings) that "it's a real person on the other end so it is okay" or " this is just sexual text conversation it isnt pornography". Biggest mistake i ever made.
Damn. I’ve only done it a couple times with her but now I’m definitely going to stop thank you. I was in the same boat I would look for things I knew deep down I wasn’t interested in, but needed more hardcore things to get off. Thankfully I’m getting better I’ve had tons of wet dreams and my mood in general and firmer erections and increase in erections. But now I know what I did may set me back and may cause me to relapse. I have a question what if I fantasize about a real girl. So there is a girl at my work I’ve talk to for awhile and sometimes ( most night ) I fantasize about her. Like hugging and kissing, sometimes sex. Would that be alright?.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
yeah, definitely stay away from the extreme stuff and really all of it. this problem will ruin your life if you let it.

While i dont think that fantasizing about vanilla sex with a real life person would necessarily set you back or anything, in my opinion it would be more likely to hurt you than help you. At least for the short term. If you could give yourself a good break from stimuli for awhile (say, 90 days or longer if you think you need it) then im sure it would be fine after.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
glad youre having some positive indicators though with the firmer erections and wet dreams. Youre well on your way!
 
yeah, definitely stay away from the extreme stuff and really all of it. this problem will ruin your life if you let it.

While i dont think that fantasizing about vanilla sex with a real life person would necessarily set you back or anything, in my opinion it would be more likely to hurt you than help you. At least for the short term. If you could give yourself a good break from stimuli for awhile (say, 90 days or longer if you think you need it) then im sure it would be fine after.
It’s tough man, the first couple weeks I was determined. The last couple days I haven’t stuck to my routine. Too much screen time, not working out. Not meditating. It’s hard. But I’m about to break my streak so all worth it. Yea i was just confused bc I’ve read ppl saying that it helped and that it didn’t help I just didn’t know.
 
glad youre having some positive indicators though with the firmer erections and wet dreams. Youre well on your way!
Thanks man. How’s your addiction btw. Have you seen progress?. I’m right with you. Having done what you have done is tough it’s incredibly addicting and hard to stop.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
My addiction is weaker than it used to be since getting married in december and having my wife around (you simply don't have the freedom to act out which helps out obviously). Thanks for asking.

It will probably take me over a year to regain normal sexuality and sexual functioning since I escalated into extreme genres and have been there for at least a decade. I still have PIED and probably will for awhile but I'm usually capable of having sex every few weeks. My wife is pregnant though and not really in the mood which is why I'm determined to take this time and get far out ahead of the problem. Hitting the forums hard, having covenant eyes blocking software, and not keeping my phone near me or even in the house when I'm home so I don't really have the option anymore. So sick ofthis shit bro lol I just want my boners back 😂
 
Yea it’s journey it really sucks. Congratulations on everything man. I feel you it’s so annoying just knowing you’re able to have them but having to wait until you fix your brain 😂. We will get there ofc like I said it’s a journey. Just gonna take the time to work on myself and diet and everything. Yea I’m guessing it will take me around the same time. I started watching it around 14 and I’m 20 now so it will take awhile. It’s just hard not to thinks and fantasize about it.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
Yeah bro I think for the short term just staying intensely busy is great for keeping it out of your mind. Obviously learning how to cope with those feelings is better but having a boundary so you cant do it for the short term, lets say the first few months, really puts you off on a good start.

The only way ive gotten this far was by getting married. I simply dont have the option to do it anymore because my wife is home. Can't watch P with your partner in the same room so it just makes it impoasible to do
 
Yea you’re definitely right. It’s hard to stay busy at least for me. I’m 20 and I’m not in college due to some family issues that happened. So I’m home most of the day. I work so there’s that time I don’t have to worry about. But my daily routine is 3-4 hours max so I have to figure out what to do next. That’s where the boredom comes in. And it’s not that I’m bored and wanna watch porn. I have no cravings for it anymore it’s just I might accidentally lead myself to seeing smt sexual.

thats a good point. Being with someone is def helpful during a reboot. Im talking with a girl ( same girl from my 1st message ) I don’t really want to commit bc I want to take the first couple months and just focus on me. And at least get a couple months of reboot under my belt. But we will see.

also I understand wet dreams are a good sign but I’ve had 3 this week and they are getting really annoying 😂. I have to wake up at 3 am so clean and throw my blanket in the washer.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
I have no cravings for it anymore it’s just I might accidentally lead myself to seeing smt sexual.
i definitely can identify with this. many times, id wager about 50% of the time i viewed porn, it was because of this. Just kind of on my phone/ipad etc. just browsing away and before i knew it i went full PMO wondering what happened. pretty dangerous and needs to be avoided for sure

did you have the wet dreams before your addiction? i had a few years ago when i went a period of time without P but they went away. I think theres a chance they go away on their own in a few years. youre still pretty young though so who knows. At 20 i can see why you get them, but im 33 and i highly doubt im gonna be having the same issue lol
 
Yea it’s very dangerous. No that’s what’s weird I didn’t have any wet dreams at all before. Now I’m getting a ton of them.Either way I’m fine if they go away or not. It’s a good sign for me. Also I feel bad lol. I’m watching the new season of cobra Kai, and there was a kissing scene and I kinda figured so I was skipping it, but I wasn’t 100% sure and I didn’t wanna miss it so I rewinded and sure enough it was a kissing scene. Now I feel so guilty bc I knew it was coming but I wasn’t 100% sure.

yea same everytime I was on my phone I would get bored and just say “ well I may as well” and it would lead to PMO. Now I’m on it doing research abt the reboot and keeping up with my fav sports teams and everything. Sure every once and again I’ll get the urge but I throw it to the side and do smt else.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
Sure every once and again I’ll get the urge but I throw it to the side and do smt else

do you think a plan like this is sustainable for the long term? im not sure where you're at with your addiction but i can tell you that if you got it bad like i do, you may need a better boundary than just relying on yourself to know when to throw the phone aside.
 
It works most of the time. Sometimes I’ll get up and play basketball or go outside or play some video games until it passes. Also sometimes when I get an urge I’ll come back and look at this website and look at all the success stories. It helps keep me motivated and then my urge is just gone. I have like a vpn on my phone that blocks everything I tell it too. And I have a lot ALOT of things blocked 😅. I have relapsed so many times in the past that I think I’m prepared for this time. But I hit a month and I’m feeling ok. In a flatline right now which sucks.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
The flatline is kind of good though. It lets you kniw that thingz are starting to head in the right direction. Definitely gets worse before getting better according to all the info out there
 
Yea true. I just assume it’s a flatline. My Motivation is gone and I don’t feel like doing anything. Plus I haven’t gotten erections so I’m assuming. Yea I’m prepared for all the worst 😂
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
What is your history anyway? How long have you been addicted, what kind of material were you pmo'ing to, how many times per day for how many years etc
 
my best guess is I started around 13 or 14 maybe 15. I don’t really remember my memory is terrible. At first it just started out as pictures, then I found out about pornhub and sites like that so I got into just regular sex videos. I would say the last 2 years I got into really hardcore things. It would always change how many times I would masturbate to porn a day. I would say max was 3 times, but I would always PMO once a day. So around 13-20 yrs old. So quite awhile now that I’m saying it out loud.
 
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