Man you hit the right points there! That sinking feeling in the stomach is so accurate. Also ur right, it feels way better if i didnt watch any stupid shit for 1-2 days. Today i went outside to a market and barely looked at my phone. Feels already way better. Honestly im shooting for a week straight up. Will try to be outside more and just enjoy my life. Fuck this shit.
PMO destroyed my willpower and vitality. Journal of my journey to 90 days and beyond without this nasty shit
- Thread starter DmdsDmt
- Start date
DAY 13
DAY 0 no surf
Hey guys im very happy that i got this far with no pmo. Unfortunatly i watched some shorts on my pc and a couple of youtube videos.vit wasnt much to the extend that i was acting like a junkie again. I stopped at some point where i was still feeling ok but decided to reset the no surf counter. I have been binging youtube videos of this guy "kurt kaz" that travels around the world and i get very entertained from it cause thats what i'd like to do too. Then i realized that im spending my time in my room watching someone else living life.. how sad is that? Fuck this shit... I want to go put and meet more people, have more friends and have less anxiety. All these videous cause me a lot of anxiety cause im feeling like im wasting my life away while other people are out there living. I feel stuck now. The weather is trash and people in the netherlands are very closed off.
Ranting a bit here.
Anyways, tomorrow i will stay away from youtube. Will install a website blocker on my pc and use it just as a tool.
Talk to you tmrrw! Peace
DAY 0 no surf
Hey guys im very happy that i got this far with no pmo. Unfortunatly i watched some shorts on my pc and a couple of youtube videos.vit wasnt much to the extend that i was acting like a junkie again. I stopped at some point where i was still feeling ok but decided to reset the no surf counter. I have been binging youtube videos of this guy "kurt kaz" that travels around the world and i get very entertained from it cause thats what i'd like to do too. Then i realized that im spending my time in my room watching someone else living life.. how sad is that? Fuck this shit... I want to go put and meet more people, have more friends and have less anxiety. All these videous cause me a lot of anxiety cause im feeling like im wasting my life away while other people are out there living. I feel stuck now. The weather is trash and people in the netherlands are very closed off.
Ranting a bit here.
Anyways, tomorrow i will stay away from youtube. Will install a website blocker on my pc and use it just as a tool.
Talk to you tmrrw! Peace
cookiemonster
Active Member
Great job on almost 2 weeks porn free. You'll figure out the social media too eventually.
Don't be hard on yourself, the world's best neuroscientists and engineers are paid a lot of money to addict us to their platforms. It will just make it all the more sweeter when we beat them together!
Don't be hard on yourself, the world's best neuroscientists and engineers are paid a lot of money to addict us to their platforms. It will just make it all the more sweeter when we beat them together!
DAY 14 no PMO
DAY 1 no surf
Ive started my day with learning spanish on duolingo. Today i will have a nice relaxing day outside. Will go to another city with some friends. I will be tempetd to smoke weed or cigaretter since my friends are doing it but i don't want to. Smoke is just bad for my health and its disgusting. Makes my clothes and breath smell like shit. So i need you guys to keep me accountable on that. I will also tell my friends to not pass me the joint. My goal for today is to flex my will power on that particular moment.
As far as PMO goes, i am getting a bit horny, but i feel the impulse to go outside and talk to a girl, which is good. I dont feel like watching porn or jerkin off so this is a good sign.
Moving
DAY 1 no surf
Ive started my day with learning spanish on duolingo. Today i will have a nice relaxing day outside. Will go to another city with some friends. I will be tempetd to smoke weed or cigaretter since my friends are doing it but i don't want to. Smoke is just bad for my health and its disgusting. Makes my clothes and breath smell like shit. So i need you guys to keep me accountable on that. I will also tell my friends to not pass me the joint. My goal for today is to flex my will power on that particular moment.
As far as PMO goes, i am getting a bit horny, but i feel the impulse to go outside and talk to a girl, which is good. I dont feel like watching porn or jerkin off so this is a good sign.
Moving
Hey guys i failed with the ciggs... Im sorry about that... I smoked 2 and a half with my friends. Thank god i didnt smoke weed tho. I was pretty much in control about that. But its very hard for me. I dont have ciggs with me or smth but my friends have and i just need to do something when i chill with them (drink beer or smoke). I want to stay more present and get to enjoy my time without having to ingest/ inhale something. I messaged a friend before meeting up to keep me accountable about the weed. I should have told him about the ciggs too. Fuck them
cookiemonster
Active Member
Good job on the weed, you'll figure out the cigarettes too.
DAY 15 no PMO
DAY 2 no surf
This morning i went for a run, then got home and took a cold shower.
A friend will come to my house to do some work and i don't want to smoke again. I am going to try to resist again. I have pain in my throat from cigarettes from yesterday. Gonna stay strong today. Seems that its more of a social addiction for me than a phisical addiction.
Im not sad about the failure from yesterday. Today i will do it right.
Will keep you updated
DAY 2 no surf
This morning i went for a run, then got home and took a cold shower.
A friend will come to my house to do some work and i don't want to smoke again. I am going to try to resist again. I have pain in my throat from cigarettes from yesterday. Gonna stay strong today. Seems that its more of a social addiction for me than a phisical addiction.
Im not sad about the failure from yesterday. Today i will do it right.
Will keep you updated
DAY 16 no PMO
DAY 3 no surf
Okay.. i didnt make it today with the cigs, even more, i also smoked weed... I worked a lot yesterday tho, which im proud of and i don't feeI that bad about the relapse on the ciggs and weed. had to draw some stuff for the project i was working on with my friend and i was like 'fuck it'. Its annoying honestly. My trigger is when a friend is smoking in front of me and we are chilling. Next time it happens i need to be more aware.
Besides that im feeling good. I woke up this morning at 5 and was horny af. I had all these fantasies comin in my mind full speed all of the sudden. But i dodged them very nice, which is a W.
I have this problem where every time i wake up, thoughts start coming in my head and i can't stop them. Then i can't sleep anymore. Maybe i should just welcome them and choose to not act on them instead of trying to stop them
DAY 3 no surf
Okay.. i didnt make it today with the cigs, even more, i also smoked weed... I worked a lot yesterday tho, which im proud of and i don't feeI that bad about the relapse on the ciggs and weed. had to draw some stuff for the project i was working on with my friend and i was like 'fuck it'. Its annoying honestly. My trigger is when a friend is smoking in front of me and we are chilling. Next time it happens i need to be more aware.
Besides that im feeling good. I woke up this morning at 5 and was horny af. I had all these fantasies comin in my mind full speed all of the sudden. But i dodged them very nice, which is a W.
I have this problem where every time i wake up, thoughts start coming in my head and i can't stop them. Then i can't sleep anymore. Maybe i should just welcome them and choose to not act on them instead of trying to stop them
Yeah, i started reading right away and it helped. But its weird... These days im feeling a lot of stress on the regular. Probabily these are the feelings i was trying to repress with pmo and reels.Maybe just get up and do something productive. Eventually perhaps your mind will stop waking you for silly fantasies, if it doesn't get what it wants.
DAY 17 no PMO
DAY 4 no surf
Im feeling very depressed with no energy at the moment.. im very stressed out because i can't get a job in my field. There are barely any jobs available here and i've been applying everywhere and i feel like giving up. I also keep feeling like "im getting old" (im 25) and my parents are still sending me money sometimes... Its trash cause the market is so fucking competitive in my field. Also been wanting to make a project and improve my portfolio but i know its gonna take me so fucking long and i don't have that energy anymore... Whatever im just rambling right now.
Im also hit with a lot of fantasies and i feel horny af all the time now. Its very hard at the moment cause i would use pmo to run away from these bad feelings i described earlier... Guess its time to face them..
DAY 4 no surf
Im feeling very depressed with no energy at the moment.. im very stressed out because i can't get a job in my field. There are barely any jobs available here and i've been applying everywhere and i feel like giving up. I also keep feeling like "im getting old" (im 25) and my parents are still sending me money sometimes... Its trash cause the market is so fucking competitive in my field. Also been wanting to make a project and improve my portfolio but i know its gonna take me so fucking long and i don't have that energy anymore... Whatever im just rambling right now.
Im also hit with a lot of fantasies and i feel horny af all the time now. Its very hard at the moment cause i would use pmo to run away from these bad feelings i described earlier... Guess its time to face them..
Thanks for reading man! I was in a really bad state but im feeling a bit better now. I dont know if i understand what you mean exactly with indirect tho. You mean it doesn't have to be a set path and it will just show up if i continue doing stuff?
Probabily i will need to get a part time job while im still waiting for some answers from the applications i sent. Im also working on making some art prints to sell
DAY 18 no PMO
DAY 5 no surf
Im feeling way better now. I just stayed with the feeling yesterday and it went away eventually. Today i was feeling very good. I woke up and worked on a project. Today was a productive day i would say. I also have a lot of energy.
I went to watch a movie with some friends today and at some point one of them showed me a porn vid. I looked for a second and stopped. After that i got a huge craving for PMO, it was insane. But then i just didn't act on it. Im home now and im still getting crazy cravings but i will stay away from it. I just need to get past it tonight. Im focusing on tonight only, one step at a time. I am feeling crazy energy to do anything and im put of that depression from yesterday. Im feeling very good overall and motivated to take life's challenges. I will not give it away!! I dont give a shit how trash im going to feel for a second. It is worth slaying these demons and i wont fucking give up!! Im also feeling very good from not watching thise stupid ass reels and tik toks. I feel very detached from the internet world and it feels great. Im so glad im quitting it. I dont get no fomo no more. I just eant to be focused on my art. Will take a hot shower now and go watch a movie. Peace guys
DAY 5 no surf
Im feeling way better now. I just stayed with the feeling yesterday and it went away eventually. Today i was feeling very good. I woke up and worked on a project. Today was a productive day i would say. I also have a lot of energy.
I went to watch a movie with some friends today and at some point one of them showed me a porn vid. I looked for a second and stopped. After that i got a huge craving for PMO, it was insane. But then i just didn't act on it. Im home now and im still getting crazy cravings but i will stay away from it. I just need to get past it tonight. Im focusing on tonight only, one step at a time. I am feeling crazy energy to do anything and im put of that depression from yesterday. Im feeling very good overall and motivated to take life's challenges. I will not give it away!! I dont give a shit how trash im going to feel for a second. It is worth slaying these demons and i wont fucking give up!! Im also feeling very good from not watching thise stupid ass reels and tik toks. I feel very detached from the internet world and it feels great. Im so glad im quitting it. I dont get no fomo no more. I just eant to be focused on my art. Will take a hot shower now and go watch a movie. Peace guys
I think i was depressed cause i wanted to actually have sex but im so out of touch with talking to girls now that if i see a girl, i don't approach at all cause im anxious, so i started to beat myself up. Cause ive seen some girls on the street these days and according to what Mark said about status, my brain was accostumed "to have all the girls in the world" thru porn and now that im not watching it anymore, it saw it as a status decline that i couldn't have that girl. Sorry if my english is not very good but hope u get what i mean.
DAY 0 no PMO
DAY 5 no surf
Hey guys, i relapsed again... That stupid video my friend showed me triggered me like crazy. I didn't watch porn now, but I MOed... After i wrote the messages from earlier it was a crazy battle in my mind. I just couldn't ficking relax... I should have just worked on something, but i started to watch a movie and it happened... Fuck. I was feeling so good today and i just fucked it up... God damn. I tried so hard to be strong this time man but it just took me with it... At least i didnt watch porn and didn't MOed multiple times. I told myself "almost 20 days" and then it just flopped. Im getting back on it asap tho. I need to find better ways to release that energy and refocus it for next time. I think that when i get crazy energy i will need to focus it on something, otherwize its all going to become sexual.
Its good, at least i didnt drawn in reels and porn again, so it wont be very hard to rebound mentally. Probabily will have some low energy tomorrow and the day after.
DAY 5 no surf
Hey guys, i relapsed again... That stupid video my friend showed me triggered me like crazy. I didn't watch porn now, but I MOed... After i wrote the messages from earlier it was a crazy battle in my mind. I just couldn't ficking relax... I should have just worked on something, but i started to watch a movie and it happened... Fuck. I was feeling so good today and i just fucked it up... God damn. I tried so hard to be strong this time man but it just took me with it... At least i didnt watch porn and didn't MOed multiple times. I told myself "almost 20 days" and then it just flopped. Im getting back on it asap tho. I need to find better ways to release that energy and refocus it for next time. I think that when i get crazy energy i will need to focus it on something, otherwize its all going to become sexual.
Its good, at least i didnt drawn in reels and porn again, so it wont be very hard to rebound mentally. Probabily will have some low energy tomorrow and the day after.