PMO destroyed my willpower and vitality. Journal of my journey to 90 days and beyond without this nasty shit
- Thread starter DmdsDmt
- Start date
Thank you man, you are right
i always forget all these pass at some point if i don't feed into them. Feeling way better nowDAY 9 no PMO
DAY 0 no surf
Alright, a little update, im almost at day 10 which is great. Last night i got hit with crazy temptation but i didn't give in. My mind was racing and i couldn't stop thinking about a lot of things that stress me and was not feeling very well mentally, so i would also get all kinds of rationalizations to relapse cause my body just wanted to disociate with PMO, but i stayed strong. Was reaching for my dock a couple of times but stopped quick. Thank god.
Still at day 0 on no surf cause ive been watching some shorts... today im planning to not use my phone at all, only for messages. Also i just woke up and goin for a quick run cause im trying to reset my sleeping cycles since its been fucked for a while now. Being tired i also a factor that caused me to relapse a bunch of times, so lets change that
DAY 0 no surf
Alright, a little update, im almost at day 10 which is great. Last night i got hit with crazy temptation but i didn't give in. My mind was racing and i couldn't stop thinking about a lot of things that stress me and was not feeling very well mentally, so i would also get all kinds of rationalizations to relapse cause my body just wanted to disociate with PMO, but i stayed strong. Was reaching for my dock a couple of times but stopped quick. Thank god.
Still at day 0 on no surf cause ive been watching some shorts... today im planning to not use my phone at all, only for messages. Also i just woke up and goin for a quick run cause im trying to reset my sleeping cycles since its been fucked for a while now. Being tired i also a factor that caused me to relapse a bunch of times, so lets change that
Ive been peeking at hookers again. Fuck. Im going through crazy withdrawals now. I closed the window after a while. Didn't M yet which is good. Fuck, i'll just need to go through today. Its fucked up cause nothing mattered in the moment i was looking. I need to stay focused
Brutus
Active Member
Stay safe man. Remember that PMO is never worth it, things only get worse because of it.
Hell yeah.. once they start creeping in, the motivation required to push through is insane. I was having crazy anxiety. Next time..
DAY 1 no PMO
I relapsed yesterday, but im getting back on the horse. the porn substitutes triggered the fuck out of me this time. I got a website blocker on my phone now where i put in the porn sites and the hookers site. PMO has become a huge problem now... I also stopped working out which i should pick it back up
I relapsed yesterday, but im getting back on the horse. the porn substitutes triggered the fuck out of me this time. I got a website blocker on my phone now where i put in the porn sites and the hookers site. PMO has become a huge problem now... I also stopped working out which i should pick it back up
I got this from another user of this forum. Can't remember who exactly, but its a good plan that will help me if i get an urge.
-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.
-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.
Hey guys, im going through some withdrawls right now but nothing that i can't handle. I am going to stop counting the days since its been adding to my anxiety. I will look at the count from time to time but i won't be obsessive about it. When i'll be healed, i'll be healed. I have an app that tracks it in the background. But so far its been good.
DAY 0 again..
Hey guys, i relasped again.. honestly i feel like i have no self control what so ever. I have to do an assignment for a job application where i really have a chance to get in! And ive been watching a bunch of shemale porn cause i just can't control myself. Everytime the urges come in and i dodge them, i relax for 5 mins and then boom, they come again and again until i have no more willpower to keep them away. I also haven't really used the methods i described earlier. Probabily i rely too much on will power and i should just get tf out of the house.. im losing hope at this point...
Hey guys, i relasped again.. honestly i feel like i have no self control what so ever. I have to do an assignment for a job application where i really have a chance to get in! And ive been watching a bunch of shemale porn cause i just can't control myself. Everytime the urges come in and i dodge them, i relax for 5 mins and then boom, they come again and again until i have no more willpower to keep them away. I also haven't really used the methods i described earlier. Probabily i rely too much on will power and i should just get tf out of the house.. im losing hope at this point...
cookiemonster
Active Member
You're losing hope because you keep doing the things you say you're not going to do. And you get all fired up to beat the addiction and then you give in.
But don't give up and don't lose hope.
I've been feeling the exact same way lately but about my phone use. I keep saying I'm not going to play games on my phone and then I fucking do it and waste four hours of my day. It gives me this sinking feeling in my stomach and makes me feel helpless. And then it's so easy to start criticising yourself and thinking you're worthless, etc etc it just spirals.
You're literally one instance of overcoming heavy urges away from feeling good about yourself. You don't have to beat this addiction forever. You just have to beat it one time. And then do that over and over for a few weeks, then it gets easier!
Mate, you're literally one fucking victory away from proving to yourself you can do this.
You only have to win once to get a taste.
You can do it. We're all cheering for you.
But don't give up and don't lose hope.
I've been feeling the exact same way lately but about my phone use. I keep saying I'm not going to play games on my phone and then I fucking do it and waste four hours of my day. It gives me this sinking feeling in my stomach and makes me feel helpless. And then it's so easy to start criticising yourself and thinking you're worthless, etc etc it just spirals.
You're literally one instance of overcoming heavy urges away from feeling good about yourself. You don't have to beat this addiction forever. You just have to beat it one time. And then do that over and over for a few weeks, then it gets easier!
Mate, you're literally one fucking victory away from proving to yourself you can do this.
You only have to win once to get a taste.
You can do it. We're all cheering for you.
Sexologists claim that porn use creates sexual shame, but in my view most of the shame comes from the inability to control our own behavior. No one wants to feel like a puppet.
Do you meditate daily? It has been shown to improve executive control. Start there, and with daily exercise...until your control improves. GL!
Do you meditate daily? It has been shown to improve executive control. Start there, and with daily exercise...until your control improves. GL!
DAY 0
@cookiemonster and @Androg Thank you for the support guys! What fucked me up this time was that i had the incognito option available on microsoft edge. I blocked the incognito in chrome, but i forgot to do it in edge. So i went straight there once i started lusting. I think a meditation practice would be good also. And i really agree with what Androg said about where shame comes from. Honestly these days ive been so deep in PMO, that the shame feeling got numbed out. But i am giving it another try now. I have a bunch of blockers on my phone and no incognito option on my pc. I know it wont keep me away forever if i start lusting, but honestly im trying everything i can at this point.
Probabily a meditation practice would be good. I do meditate at night usually when im trying to sleep, but i want to do it also during the day. Also i will post more here and vent about stuff cause it seems to help.
@cookiemonster and @Androg Thank you for the support guys! What fucked me up this time was that i had the incognito option available on microsoft edge. I blocked the incognito in chrome, but i forgot to do it in edge. So i went straight there once i started lusting. I think a meditation practice would be good also. And i really agree with what Androg said about where shame comes from. Honestly these days ive been so deep in PMO, that the shame feeling got numbed out. But i am giving it another try now. I have a bunch of blockers on my phone and no incognito option on my pc. I know it wont keep me away forever if i start lusting, but honestly im trying everything i can at this point.
Probabily a meditation practice would be good. I do meditate at night usually when im trying to sleep, but i want to do it also during the day. Also i will post more here and vent about stuff cause it seems to help.
I have this assignment for an interview at a good job that im doing at the moment and i will have to work non stop probabily for 3 days straight. I will work also during the night cause i want to kake a good impression. Im a bit stressed cause i might not finish it in time but i will give all i can. Getting this job would finally make my life easier and i would have to go to the office during the week which is good cause i'd be easier to stay away from pmo and i would engage with colleagues and not be in my room all day and relapsing constantly.
Will be back with updates
Will be back with updates
