Thanks man! Will do my best. Ive been also dodging some cravings since i posted the previous comments. The blockers on my phone and pc work well. Will keep on pushingGood luck with the project!
PMO destroyed my willpower and vitality. Journal of my journey to 90 days and beyond without this nasty shit
- Thread starter DmdsDmt
- Start date
I wonder if they really expect you to finish it. Perhaps they want to see how you handle the stress of work that is literally overwhelming.DAY 1
Im going to work very hard today to reach the deadline of my project. I refuse to fall back into pmo and face life as it is, instead of trying to numb it.
Will not fall back today
Might be. Honestly ive added a bit too much detail to it and now im struggling to finish it
need to be done by tmrrw asapDAY 5
Hey guys, just checking in with you. Im still on it. These days ive been working non stop on that project and i finally finished. Pulled a couple all nighters and ive been neglecting my health a lot. Good thing is that i stayed away prom pmo for almost 5 days and im starting to feel better mentally. Ive been so busy with working that i totally forgot about any urges what so ever. Today i was tempted a bit caus ei had a boner but i eas very much in control and kne it wasnt worth it so i let it go imediately. It was like it didn't have a pull on me like before cause ive been having all ky focus on my project which turned out pretty good. Now im waiting for the company's decision to know if im in for an interview or not. If i get this job, it would lift a crazy burden from my shoulder and my life would change.
Hey guys, just checking in with you. Im still on it. These days ive been working non stop on that project and i finally finished. Pulled a couple all nighters and ive been neglecting my health a lot. Good thing is that i stayed away prom pmo for almost 5 days and im starting to feel better mentally. Ive been so busy with working that i totally forgot about any urges what so ever. Today i was tempted a bit caus ei had a boner but i eas very much in control and kne it wasnt worth it so i let it go imediately. It was like it didn't have a pull on me like before cause ive been having all ky focus on my project which turned out pretty good. Now im waiting for the company's decision to know if im in for an interview or not. If i get this job, it would lift a crazy burden from my shoulder and my life would change.
cookiemonster
Active Member
Hey, how's it going?
Thinking about you brother.
Thinking about you brother.
Thanks a lot for checking in with me man! I wanna congradulate you on reaching so many days on your streak!!! Its insane.
I reached 11 days today but then i relapsed god damnit. But im getting back at it.. Also this past week ive been on a disociating streak, drinking and smoking weed a lot... Barely did any workouts too, so no wonder i relapsed.. sometimes i feel like i can't deal with the feelings that come up and i feel exhausted. and i just run away every time... Cause deep down i feel lonely af. But i know i need to face these feelings in order to surpass this state tho. Ive been wanting to write more here on the forum but i was ashamed cause i was high almost every day. I was also ruminating about my ex a lot.. but now im back and im going to give it another try. It seems that when i try to stop one vice, i want to compensate with the other vices to fill up that void.
Also i am invited for an interview at this company i made the assignment for. I am excited about that but also scared and that made me go all in these days into these sedating habits.
cookiemonster
Active Member
Sorry to hear about the relapse but glad to see you back here. Even when you feel shame because of what you've been doing, I recommend that you come to this forum and post about what happened.
I've built up some long streaks in the past and then when things went bad I left the forum and didn't come back until months later when I'd messed up all my progress.
We don't judge you, we've all done things we didn't feel good about too, we want the best for you, but we will be sad to hear bad news.
Negative emotions don't always have to be negative, they're your body and mind telling you that you're not living congruently with your best self. They're there to help give you the push to change.
Good luck for the interview and looking forward to seeing you build up another streak.
Thanks man! It really means a lot!! And i agree, negative emotions shouldn't be seen as bad. I think I'm always abandoning myself when i feel those bad emotions and thats what makes me struggle processing them. Thing is that i usually start very motivated and then it just crumbles cause i forget to be kind to myself.
DAY 1
Today im planning to go for a walk in the morning and then clean my room. I wont do any pmo or socialmedia and everytime i find myself in a difficult mental moment, i will try to not abandon myself and will lift myself up using nice words like a good coach instead of constantly putting myself down and pointing the lacking.
These are the goals for today.
Today im planning to go for a walk in the morning and then clean my room. I wont do any pmo or socialmedia and everytime i find myself in a difficult mental moment, i will try to not abandon myself and will lift myself up using nice words like a good coach instead of constantly putting myself down and pointing the lacking.
These are the goals for today.
Hey guys, im going through some intense emotions and depressing feeling at the moment. I noticed myself going to instagram and scrolling a bit but i stopped and decided to just vent here for a bit instead of . Ive been trying to clean my room but its been so hard and i have a sinking exhaustion feeling in my body. Also i realized that im not talking about my feelings enough, also with people around me. I keep feeling that i will burden them with my problems. But that also stems from self hate cause i feel like im not worthy enough to get support from others.
I have also been giving too much attention to these bad feelings and i started to circle in my head which is so fucking exhausting. I am going to continue cleaning my room now and then eat a healthy meal.
Hopefully things will get better.
I have also been giving too much attention to these bad feelings and i started to circle in my head which is so fucking exhausting. I am going to continue cleaning my room now and then eat a healthy meal.
Hopefully things will get better.
Thanks for the support! Your message really helped yesterday. Im better now, the emotions have passed and im going to try and be sober for at least a month on weed and alcohol, besides pmoSounds like your brain is trying to trick you into a relapse.
Try vigorous exercise or taking a walk. You need a reset.
DAY 3
I don't have any sex drive now but i feel a lot of depression. Probabily these are just withdrawls of the weed+alcohol+PMO. Im trying to not make much of it but sometimes it gets me into crazy circles in my head about my ex. Its very hard to get out of the bed but will do it anyways. I am feeling very lethargic and low energy all the time.
I wont let this bring me down today, so i will still get up, finish cleaning my room and workout. Im also going to prepare for the interview from friday. Will start with a walk in the sun first. We got this
I don't have any sex drive now but i feel a lot of depression. Probabily these are just withdrawls of the weed+alcohol+PMO. Im trying to not make much of it but sometimes it gets me into crazy circles in my head about my ex. Its very hard to get out of the bed but will do it anyways. I am feeling very lethargic and low energy all the time.
I wont let this bring me down today, so i will still get up, finish cleaning my room and workout. Im also going to prepare for the interview from friday. Will start with a walk in the sun first. We got this
cookiemonster
Active Member
Keep it up!!
DAY 4
Ive been better. I was feeling very lonely but last night i was talking through discord to a girl i met at an event a while back and it made me feel way better. I wasn't trying to pull some weird game on her or smth like that. I was just open and had no expectations and it charged me with energy. Also today i went to wash my clothes (finally) and met this girl that i talked to for a while and it made me feel very good. Honestly im trying to get myself out there more cause I've been hanging out with the same friends for a long time now and i feel like they are one of the factors that make me smoke and drink so much. So now im practicing more interactions while being sober and letting people see who i really am and its been going good so far
I still didn't finish cleaning my room but today i did a crazy chest workout which im proud of and i washed some of my clothes.
Ive been better. I was feeling very lonely but last night i was talking through discord to a girl i met at an event a while back and it made me feel way better. I wasn't trying to pull some weird game on her or smth like that. I was just open and had no expectations and it charged me with energy. Also today i went to wash my clothes (finally) and met this girl that i talked to for a while and it made me feel very good. Honestly im trying to get myself out there more cause I've been hanging out with the same friends for a long time now and i feel like they are one of the factors that make me smoke and drink so much. So now im practicing more interactions while being sober and letting people see who i really am and its been going good so far
I still didn't finish cleaning my room but today i did a crazy chest workout which im proud of and i washed some of my clothes.