my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 16

Just came back from the gym. Feels great.

I am somewhat in a flatline right now. But thats okay. For me the flatline is the brain in a healing phase.

I can focus on all other aspects of life than my sexuality. Which i overstressed the last 15 years. So thats okay. Lets give it a rest.

What i realize what helps. This is not only ignoring/fighting/beating the sick porn pathway. This is more about finding what attracts me in a healthy natural world.

It is important to more focus on the second thing and the first thing will be less of an issue automatically.

Lets keep going.
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 23

As focused as never before.

Whenever only a slightest urge/fantasy arrises i immediatly brand is as a "deceptive brain message that is toxic for my health and future me" and put it in the trash. After that i focus on something else.

This simple method works for me really well. I can again recommend the book "You are not your Brain".

Lets keep going
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 28

What a day. Had a great date with a wonderful women today. At least i thought so.

After i happily drove home and told her that i liked the date and asked if she liked it as well i did not receive an answer on that for hours even though she is online.

Thats a clear "no thanks" and that hurts. But thats okay. Thats how it is. It didnt click for her and I am probably not as attractive as she wished i was (online dating first real life date today). Reality can always be a bummer. But i cant change who i am.

Back in the days such downs would bring me to "distract" myself. Now just thinking about that shit disgusts me. I want to improve myself and get a better version so that such things dont happen. Not fall into the selfpitty trap.

Lets move on!
 
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swimmer97

Active Member
Day 29

I feel better. The girl from sundays date send an honest message in which she said that the date was nice but it didnt click for her.

Even though this message is "bad news" it still feels better than getting ghosted.

I can learn a lot here. I was simply not attracive. Thats what it is, i accept it. Being a male means competition. Its that simple. And its okay this way. Thats how nature works.

I can be a way more attractive man than i was yesterday.

Regarding the P topic im proud that i did not fall in any pit after this negative experience.

These moments suck but they are the true trainings for this life change what we call quitting PMO.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 29

I feel better. The girl from sundays date send an honest message in which she said that the date was nice but it didnt click for her.

Even though this message is "bad news" it still feels better than getting ghosted.

I can learn a lot here. I was simply not attracive. Thats what it is, i accept it. Being a male means competition. Its that simple. And its okay this way. Thats how nature works.

I can be a way more attractive man than i was yesterday.

Regarding the P topic im proud that i did not fall in any pit after this negative experience.

These moments suck but they are the true trainings for this life change what we call quitting PMO.
Hey @swimmer97, I'm glad she did message you back, that definitely feels better than being ghosted that's for sure. I've been there too, no fun.

However, I don't think it's healthy to say because of this one instance you're not attractive, there's just too many variables that could be going on here. She could have been having a bad day. Maybe your vibe was off or needy feeling. Or maybe it's true she just wasn't attracted to you, either looks or personality, however that doesn't mean you're not attractive in general, just not to her. I'm not pulling hairs here, because it really is a big difference, especially in how it affects your attitude going forward.

Learn from it, reflect on it, and congratulate yourself on not heading to the sewer again. There's definitely no good women down there! :cool: 🐀🐀🐀
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Hey @swimmer97, I'm glad she did message you back, that definitely feels better than being ghosted that's for sure. I've been there too, no fun.

However, I don't think it's healthy to say because of this one instance you're not attractive, there's just too many variables that could be going on here. She could have been having a bad day. Maybe your vibe was off or needy feeling. Or maybe it's true she just wasn't attracted to you, either looks or personality, however that doesn't mean you're not attractive in general, just not to her. I'm not pulling hairs here, because it really is a big difference, especially in how it affects your attitude going forward.

Learn from it, reflect on it, and congratulate yourself on not heading to the sewer again. There's definitely no good women down there! :cool: 🐀🐀🐀
thanks brother for these words, as always. they build up.

You are completely right here. When reflecting. It could be a billion reasons/variables.

Also there of course have been other women attracted to me. Who am i fooling here.

I am just always surprised again how a women that is naturally good looking with a wholesome personality that shows interest in me (at least for certain time) is enough to already fall a little bit in love every time.

My rational thinking is saying "bye bye" for 1-2 days after getting a rejection. But i got better here.



This situation was STILL better than a P session. Because your right, i can learn here. I experienced life. It makes me stronger when reflecting it right.

The P-rabbit whole wont help here for sure haha. not going down this shithole ever again 🙏
 
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swimmer97

Active Member
Day 32

New (old) goal: I want to focus on reducing my body fat% to 12% until summer.

This is tough but its actually somewhat similiar to P. Junk food including sugary food is also a hyper stimulus that is not natural to our caveman brains and overstimulates us in a way that natural non processed food is less fun. this reminds me of something else..

Completely getting rid of it might be too big of a task but ill try to reduce it to weekends. Making it a treat. And on weekends i still want to be in my caloric goal.

But enough talk. Lets walk the walk and not talk the talk.

Current Metrics:
BF%: 15,6% Goal: 12%
Weight: 78,20KG Goal: 73KG
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Damn @swimmer97, I like this goal. I too am trying to lose some body fat, but my goal is 15%, I'm currently 21.5. I lost a lot of weight over the last year and half, best shape I've ever been in, however, my lowest body fat was 18% and that was last summer. I think I figured out from that experience that to get lower, I'm going to have be very strict on what I eat, whereas while losing all that weight, I was just having smaller portions etc. I'm also working out too, so I don't want to lose any muscle while doing this.

Carbs man, it's my love, I don't even like desserts! And you're totally right about sugar and how we're all addicted to it.

Best to you!
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Day 32

New (old) goal: I want to focus on reducing my body fat% to 12% until summer.

This is tough but its actually somewhat similiar to P. Junk food including sugary food is also a hyper stimulus that is not natural to our caveman brains and overstimulates us in a way that natural non processed food is less fun. this reminds me of something else..

Completely getting rid of it might be too big of a task but ill try to reduce it to weekends. Making it a treat. And on weekends i still want to be in my caloric goal.

But enough talk. Lets walk the walk and not talk the talk.

Current Metrics:
BF%: 15,6% Goal: 12%
Weight: 78,20KG Goal: 73KG
15 percent is already fairly lean! Summer cut is gonna POP!
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Damn @swimmer97, I like this goal. I too am trying to lose some body fat, but my goal is 15%, I'm currently 21.5. I lost a lot of weight over the last year and half, best shape I've ever been in, however, my lowest body fat was 18% and that was last summer. I think I figured out from that experience that to get lower, I'm going to have be very strict on what I eat, whereas while losing all that weight, I was just having smaller portions etc. I'm also working out too, so I don't want to lose any muscle while doing this.

Carbs man, it's my love, I don't even like desserts! And you're totally right about sugar and how we're all addicted to it.

Best to you!
My man on the same jungle path. from 21.5% to 18% is 3,5% body fat that you lost is pretty huge. GZ on that W already.
loosing 3,5% is exactly where i want to be at this summer.

Carbs are so damm good. I feel what you mean. Pizza, Pasta etc. The good stuff is what makes us big. Life is hard ^^

What helped me overcome my chocolate bar cravings at office today (we have a vendor in the office) is to think about this short term pain long term hapiness model. It can get just that little boost in motivation that is needed to overcome the Snickers Bar that is waiting in the Vendor machine.

Lets grind to summerbody and summerlibido at the same time!
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Yeah I think for myself, I just want to get down to a healthy level, where I can still splurge once in a while but not get over 20%. Let's face it, life is meant to be lived and I intend to live it, however, I do want to get down to lower level, so that, when I do have "fun" like say for Christmas etc., it won't ever put me over the 20% threshold, preferably even 18%. Like everything, there's a balance that must be found and I'm still working on that.
I am just always surprised again how a women that is naturally good looking with a wholesome personality that shows interest in me (at least for certain time) is enough to already fall a little bit in love every time.
This lol. If I had a penny for every girl I've fallen in love with instantly, I would be a rich man indeed. :) And this started well before I ever ventured into porn, so I know that is my natural state. Cherish it, thank her for it, and move on to other pastures.

Peace
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Yeah I think for myself, I just want to get down to a healthy level, where I can still splurge once in a while but not get over 20%. Let's face it, life is meant to be lived and I intend to live it, however, I do want to get down to lower level, so that, when I do have "fun" like say for Christmas etc., it won't ever put me over the 20% threshold, preferably even 18%. Like everything, there's a balance that must be found and I'm still working on that.

I like this, you found a nice sweet spot here to aim for the long run. Life has to be enjoyed 100% agree.

My 12% goal is a specific goal that i set myself to test my limits and see if i can do this. I prolly wont hold it for long as i lve food, trust me 😁

In case i even reach it. We will see. I just have a little belly that i want to attack. as a child i was always skinny and that was a great free feeling. I dont aim to get super skinny, i want to hold as much muscle as possible while getting little bit leaner.

I also read somewhere here or on YBOP that a lower body fat% increases libido and recovery speed. I have no idea if there is any truth in this but i want to believe it right now for this challenge 😁

This lol. If I had a penny for every girl I've fallen in love with instantly, I would be a rich man indeed. :) And this started well before I ever ventured into porn, so I know that is my natural state. Cherish it, thank her for it, and move on to other pastures.
Love to see that you are recognizing yourself here haha

This true natural innocent + feminine vibe is just the best thing there is. Its the true thing. Its actually one of the reasons i fight this battle against this cold, lifeless pleaseure we get with P.

When i think back i do thank her for this feeling. What a great way to end this chapter in good and seek to find this feeling again maybe it ll last longer. For sure P is not giving this feeling any time ever.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
As long as it's not too low! 12-15% BF is optimal for a man (unless you're on steroids) but anything south of 10% and it starts getting dodgy haha
thx for the advice brother but trust me, im not as good of a work-outer/dieter to reach anything below 12% even if i wanted it haha.
Yeah I don't think I have to worry about this either. Unless someone's paying me the big bucks to be a high end model or something, or Thor lol, I don't think I care enough. Shit, I'm alreadly hungry now, and I've been having good sized meals over the last two days, just not full boxes of Triscuits :cool:
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 33

Realization of the day: old bad habits lead to P urges.

I reinstalled a video game that i spend way too much life time on today. I installed it cause my best buddy in that game asked me. I got him on snapchat.

When playing i randomly got an urge as strong as i didint have one since week 1/2 where urges can be really bad.

I realize that my brain connects these old shit habits with other habits that were going hand in hand in these dark times.

I deinstalled the game after some games and went for a walk in the cold. I feel way better.

Porn addiction requires more than just not only quitting Porn. It requeries to better more aspects in life.
 

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 35

Going strong.

Education is so important when it comes to beating this curse. Without education and the lots of great advice i read on also this forum from great people, i would still be 100% in the same shitty hamster wheel, slowly ruining my life and my sexual health.

I always knew P is nothing good. But until i found out about all the scientific background from YBOP and reebot forum i would never knew how bad its harming my health. Yes i experienced PIED but still i would find excuses like a true addict.

Without propper education, my addiciton would win this battle. Its already hard enough.
 
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