my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

[swimmer97]

Day 55

I had a wet dream this night. I was expecting it somehow because my body seems like he wants to get rid of excess semen around every 4 weeks. The amazing thing is: i was dreaming about VANILLA sex. this is huge for me. I was preparing myself mentally that if i get a wet dream its about vanilla and it actually worked. to be honest i didnt expect that this could work because we cant influence our dreams right? well i guess we in some way can. I think its something deeply uncounschious. Its like our inner alarm to wake up at a certain time when we tell ourselfs beffore going to sleep.

I was talking to a friend today who says that if you want to stop wet dreams without fighting yourself, give yourself the suggestion during meditation, or just before falling asleep that you will wake up in time to shift gears if such a dream arises. Just something you could try.

I cant believe it but this worked. thx again @Androg

 

[swimmer97]

Day 56

 

[Blondie]

Looking good @swimmer97.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 57

I love this journey. I will not fall again. Currently im in a flatline and thats absolutely okay. My brain needs time to heal.

 

[Blondie]

Nearing the big day 60!

You got this.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 59

Every day without porn feels better than all porn orgasm i had together when looking back. Its truly just a drug. Nothing more.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 60 -> 2 Months no PMO

Feeling absolutely great. I am at a stable point again like on my very first streak when i started this journey last year (~135days streak).

Only that this time i am 100% convinced and committed that i will never masturbate and wach porn again in my life.

If its not real -> NO Deal.

 

[Blondie]

Hey @swimmer97, I'm so happy for you brother.

Feeling absolutely great. I am at a stable point again like on my very first streak when i started this journey last year (~135days streak).

I feel you have learned what you needed to learn on that last relapse and now you're going to keep on going forward.

Only that this time i am 100% convinced and committed that i will never masturbate and wach porn again in my life.

Yes, there is simply no reason to even go there. And that is a great feeling indeed.

Best man, congrats on day 60.

 

[swimmer97]

Hey @swimmer97, I'm so happy for you brother.

I feel you have learned what you needed to learn on that last relapse and now you're going to keep on going forward.

Yes, there is simply no reason to even go there. And that is a great feeling indeed.

Best man, congrats on day 60.

@Blondie Thank you Blondie. It is an honor that i have you on my side on this path. A true brother you are.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 61

This is just the start.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 62

"Nothing worth is easy to get"

 

[swimmer97]

Day 63

Had another wet dream last night. I think because my last one last week i was interrupting and thus not releasing the full loud. This time i went full loud (sorry for the details).

The amazing thing is. I was again dreaming about a vanilla scenario not my porn induced fetish. Thats so huge.

Wet dreams are interesting. Before starting this journey last year, i actually never had one. I thought they are some type of teenage dreams that some have and some don't. Imagine, since i am 11 years old, before i even had proper ejaculation fluid i was beating my meat at least once a month so that my body never had to wet dream. (im 26 today) Insane.

Lets move on.

 

[Blondie]

That's crazy @swimmer97 about the wet dreams. It truly is insane what we think is "normal" when we've done this shit for so long.

Keep killing it

 

[nickd247]

That's crazy @swimmer97 about the wet dreams. It truly is insane what we think is "normal" when we've done this shit for so long.

Keep killing it

i never remember getting any wet dreams after i started Mo then really not having any after starting the PMO habit. only since beginning my reboot have i really had any at all. who knew!

 

[swimmer97]

Day 64 - Monk Mode

 

[swimmer97]

Day 65

 

[swimmer97]

Day 66

"Begin with the End in Mind."

very important. When we have a picture of our future selfes. Maybe with a beatiful wife in front of a nice house with children or something. It makes it easier for our brain to stick to our goals and move towards this higher vision. I have a picture for all of my current goals. Also for my never watching P or masturbate goal. I want to get to this vision as badly as i want to breath.

Lets keep movin friends

 

[swimmer97]

Day 67

 

[swimmer97]

Day 68

I think i have the worst behind me. I will still be careful. Triggers will be there, always.

 

[swimmer97]

Day 69

i have literally 0 libido. I know that im in a flatline. But its interesting that the only sexual thing that i taught my brain is porn.

This part of me is now past. Sexual encounters from now on are either real or no deal.

If that means that i will never have a sex life again thats okay. But i will not do anything artificial again. I did enough of that in my life