I'm on day 16 of my reboot and feeling a little hopeless.The first week I was bat sh$t manic and exercised beyond what my masturbating self could never have ever done. The only improvements I have seen is 2 out of the last 4 nights I had an erection and one particular day I was sitting on the couch and fanatsizing about role play with my wife and had a half staffer ( half an erection). But Im realizing while its an improvment, it is still fantasizing in my head, which isnt getting me anywhere. Today I feel very hopeless, and have little to no energy. I know I need to keep vigilant, but man! I am tired. I have no desire to workout.Its like I want to sleep for 6 months. My urinary function has gotten better, but not perfect. Any advice or experiences to what Im going through? Im reaching all over the place...but who do I talk too? This is not quite the subject for a family dinner discussion.
Becoming numb and lethargic
- Thread starter Crackers1
- Start date
PrometheusUnbound
Active Member
In the first couple of months of getting clean (am approaching 5) I had crazy anxiety, headaches, insomnia, intrusive thoughts etc. It's really up and down, and while your brain is sorting itself out can be a lot down depending on the nature/depth of the addiction.
"The only improvements I have seen is..."
16 days porn free is a big improvement，from whichever angle you look at it, so there is that. Other things take more time, so give yourself a bit of slack. Have you read Your Brain On Porn etc? It is a good general overview of what is going on.
Stay strong, and keep up the good work!
"The only improvements I have seen is..."
16 days porn free is a big improvement，from whichever angle you look at it, so there is that. Other things take more time, so give yourself a bit of slack. Have you read Your Brain On Porn etc? It is a good general overview of what is going on.
Stay strong, and keep up the good work!
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
@Crackers1
You're feeling hopeless, rock bottom because
1. PMO was your main or only source of feel good. You haven't practice or recognize other sources of feel good
2. PMO lowers feel good baseline such that people feel more miserable without it for some time.
Spend this time
1. Out in the sun
2. Socializing
3. Helping others
4. Recognize yourself
5. Focus on resting
6. Focus on your efforts
7. Eat well
Focus and find other sources of feel good. The key is replacement, not simply resistance.
Don't spend any time fantasizing or have anything to do with sex. Imagine yourself in hospital with a bad pain. Sex should be the last thing on your mind.
Have a read here as well https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/23145/post-248685
You're feeling hopeless, rock bottom because
1. PMO was your main or only source of feel good. You haven't practice or recognize other sources of feel good
2. PMO lowers feel good baseline such that people feel more miserable without it for some time.
Spend this time
1. Out in the sun
2. Socializing
3. Helping others
4. Recognize yourself
5. Focus on resting
6. Focus on your efforts
7. Eat well
Focus and find other sources of feel good. The key is replacement, not simply resistance.
Don't spend any time fantasizing or have anything to do with sex. Imagine yourself in hospital with a bad pain. Sex should be the last thing on your mind.
Have a read here as well https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/23145/post-248685
GBS
Respected Member
Hi @Crackers1
Can’t add a whole lot to what the above sages said. But stay on this forum and read others stories and write your own brutally honest one as often as possible. We help each other. I used to be petrified by some of the physical and mental changes going on (I am currently roughly 7 months sober), and that includes some flat periods of feeling asexual….but people tell you it’s normal and it gets better, way better…..I mean light years.
Are you going hard mode?
Can’t add a whole lot to what the above sages said. But stay on this forum and read others stories and write your own brutally honest one as often as possible. We help each other. I used to be petrified by some of the physical and mental changes going on (I am currently roughly 7 months sober), and that includes some flat periods of feeling asexual….but people tell you it’s normal and it gets better, way better…..I mean light years.
Are you going hard mode?
I feel like that some days too, we just have to let the bad days pass and they do pass. Just try to look after yourself and do things that soothe you, have strategies in place for difficult periods, and focus on who you want to become - basically all the advice above this! There will be good days too!
Hard mode is an understatement.I am quitting 3 addictions at once....porn, alcohol and food. I flipped out a month ago and have been tortured ever since. I went from downing a bottle of wine in a sitting to just drinking water. I went from eating excessive carbohydrates to becoming a strict vegan. I went from watching porn/masturbating to not even wanting to do a Google search.Alot hit me all at once and I kind of spiralled out control. People said it is suicide doing all three at once, but they go hand in hand. I also suffer from extreme health worrying and trying in vain to find a therapist for this, because it is relentless torture.I need a thearapist that specializes in CBT therapy.
GBS
Respected Member
@Crackers1 - you chose your correct RN name, that’s for sure! I just.
Take this: you’re a hero for trying this. Succeed and you will be so different you won’t believe it. But do not set yourself up to fail. I packed up porn and masturbating (although some minor lapses of the latter) and other things dropped off naturally. I drink way less but I am not giving up alcohol and a glass of fine wine is still mine. I eat better and I look better so I feel better. I didn’t have to pledge to do the less alcohol and better food, they just happened.
I guess what I am saying is be ok with yourself if you’re not 100% successful. 90% would be life changing.
Take this: you’re a hero for trying this. Succeed and you will be so different you won’t believe it. But do not set yourself up to fail. I packed up porn and masturbating (although some minor lapses of the latter) and other things dropped off naturally. I drink way less but I am not giving up alcohol and a glass of fine wine is still mine. I eat better and I look better so I feel better. I didn’t have to pledge to do the less alcohol and better food, they just happened.
I guess what I am saying is be ok with yourself if you’re not 100% successful. 90% would be life changing.
TakeActionNow
Respected Member
@Crackers1
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through.
I can only say that any withdrawals should be accompanied with plentiful of healthy replacements.
We are not vacuums, and cannot live in one. Withdrawal is a kind of vacuum, and without feel good replacements, the vacuum sensation is painful and the addictions will still remain attractive.
Replacements:
Keeping busy
Sleeping early and resting
Time in the sun
Healthy socializing
Time with loved ones
Helping others
The only analogy I have is breakup.
I couldn't let go of my ex, and ended up resentful for 2 years.
Whereas a friend who broke up dove deep into his work. He recovered much quicker.
Right now you are no different from a hospital patient, except they have medication but at this moment you have none. Your medication is the healthy feel good replacements types I mentioned above.
Find your replacements, and dive deep into them. Hopefully they will give you the much needed feel good replacements to get you out of withdrawal, escape and external dependencies.
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TakeActionNow
Respected Member
@Crackers1
I am reminded of an episode on depression by Dr Huberman, professor of neuro biology at Stanford university school of medicine.
scroll to 00:59:20 for the portion on EPA
He mentioned that EPA within omega 3 fatty acid supplements may have mood lifting effects that may help people with depression.
EPA dense Omega-3 is available off the shelf as a health supplement. Verify the company and the EPA content on the packaging. Be aware that any excessively high dose is harmful to the body.
Hopefully this may alleviate some of your withdrawal symptoms and make the days more comfortable and bearable for you.
I am reminded of an episode on depression by Dr Huberman, professor of neuro biology at Stanford university school of medicine.
He mentioned that EPA within omega 3 fatty acid supplements may have mood lifting effects that may help people with depression.
EPA dense Omega-3 is available off the shelf as a health supplement. Verify the company and the EPA content on the packaging. Be aware that any excessively high dose is harmful to the body.
Hopefully this may alleviate some of your withdrawal symptoms and make the days more comfortable and bearable for you.
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