21 day challenge

alfonse

Member
Hello,
I became aware about my porn/masturbation addiction a couple of years ago and have tried on several occasions to quit. My record for holding up is 10 days. I created this account so I can keep a log here for everyday. I think it will help me a lot.
Porn has been a part of my daily life (almost every day) for more than a decade. It is only in recent years I realize how much damage it has caused me.
I have been addicted to other things in my life but I managed to quit most of them. They include tobacco and drinking caffeinated beverages. So I know I can do it but porn is the hardest opponent yet.
My goal is to not masturbate or watch porn for 21 days.

So starting tomorrow.



About me:
I am 34 years old single male. I have been on a journey of self improvement for the last 4-5 years. I can't tell you exactly when it started but a couple a years ago I suddenly realized that I was not happy at all about my life. I wasnt depressed or anything like that but I did not feel that I was really living my potential.

At that time I was about 29 and working in a job I was ok with but had no passion for. The pay was not any good either.
I had in the last decade had one good relationship with a woman I loved for almost a year and a couple of short ones with girls I really did not love. I had also slept with a dozen or so.
Most of the time I was living alone and had somehow managed to fool myself that I enjoyed being alone. I still don't mind being alone just not all the fucking time.
I also had become slightly overweight and really not taking care of my overall apperance.
I used tobacco and drank a lot of coffee.
I was a heavy porn user and masturbated everyday.

I don't remember which book I started with but I began to consume a lot of self-help material. Like anything in life there is a lot of junk but some gems too. I started questioning my habits and thinking. For the first time in my life I became aware that I was addicted to a lot of stuff that had profound effects on my life.

My addictions I had were:
I was addicted to porn and masturbating.(Causing me to spend much time alone, having less sex with women, being anti-social sometimes, no relationship)
I was addicted to caffeine.(Did not sleep really well)
I was addicted to tobbacco.(Higher blood pressure, ugly teeth, disgusting breath)
I was addicted to gambling(My years as a poker professional had made me addicted to the thrill of gambling. Not in a way that I was losing money but choosing to play before e.g. socializing etc..)
I was addicted to weed. (Smoking almost every weekend.)

I decided to make changes.

Now after 5 years I have successfully gotten rid of my tobbacco, caffeine and gambling addictions. I have yet to conquer weed and porn. I also have lost a lot of weight, I eat healthy and have a job which I really like.
 

alfonse

Member
First day is almost over. No problem whatsoever today but that was expected. It usually becomes hard for me around 4th day and forward. I read a couple of motivation articles on FAPnation and got some good tips on how to recognize when my mind tries to rationalize why I should fap.
 
Hi Alfonse,

Most of us are in it for the long run. More patience will come over time. But since you already kicked a few addictions, you probably know this.
Should you relapse, simply start again with more determination. In my experience relapses can be the most profound learning tools. When you fail at something you were trying to avoid at all cost, some great insight can be found about the workings of your mind and how it plays it's tricks.

Welcome!
 

alfonse

Member
aiminghigher said:
Hi Alfonse,

Most of us are in it for the long run. More patience will come over time. But since you already kicked a few addictions, you probably know this.
Should you relapse, simply start again with more determination. In my experience relapses can be the most profound learning tools. When you fail at something you were trying to avoid at all cost, some great insight can be found about the workings of your mind and how it plays it's tricks.

Welcome!

Hi aminghigher,
Yes, that is very true. Quitting addictions is about failing and starting over. I think I quit tobacco a good 50 times or so before actually succeding. :)
 

alfonse

Member
Day 2 complete. Not really hard today either altough I had more sexual thoughts today.
I have been thinking a lot about how to prepare myself for when my mind wants to rationalize fap. Writing here will help a lot.
Also substituting fap urges with creative stuff like reading or programming.
 

alfonse

Member
Day 3 complete. Today was a bit harder. At one time I could feel the surge coming and I wanted to view porn. My brain kept finding reasons for why I should do it. What really helped was that I went away from the computer and laid down and thought about why I did not want to Fap. Also remembering the feeling you get when you fail is helping a lot.
I also read some more nofap success stories which always inspire.
 

jazzy-d

Member
Hi Alfonse,

I'm glad to see you're on the right track and getting your life back on track as well.  I see that this struggle we all have with leaving P as it is not easy.

I would really suggest trying some meditation, as it has helped me.  Try with some breathing exercises and other sorts of meditations.

There is also some guided meditation available freely on youtube and other websites which can really help for newbies.

All the best with your challenge!
 

Gabe Deem

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
@ alfonse
Also substituting fap urges with creative stuff like reading or programming.

Great idea, and continue to do so. I also suggest learning as much as you can about addiction and the brain over on YBOP. Read through the FAQ's. Also, for motivation read through some of the success stories. Remember that the result of giving up porn is not missing out on pleasure. The result of giving up porn is experiencing more pleasure, in all areas of life.

Welcome to the Nation
 

alfonse

Member
4th day today and it was a good day. Some small urges but overall no problem. I did a lot of social stuff and it makes you feel really good.
 

alfonse

Member
jazzy-d said:
Hi Alfonse,

I'm glad to see you're on the right track and getting your life back on track as well.  I see that this struggle we all have with leaving P as it is not easy.

I would really suggest trying some meditation, as it has helped me.  Try with some breathing exercises and other sorts of meditations.

There is also some guided meditation available freely on youtube and other websites which can really help for newbies.

All the best with your challenge!

Thanks!
 

alfonse

Member
5th day almost over. I have had a lot of urges today but always remained in control. I think my brain misses its usual dopamine rush.
Writing here really helps with keeping focus and willpower. It does take some effort to recollect the day and how you have felt. I really understand people who keep diaries.
 

alfonse

Member
6th day finished. I had a lot of urges today. When I am sitting at the computer I have this void that I need to fill. I am doing a lot of reading and programming to combat it.Also  I am working from home this month so I am sitting a lot in front of the computer. But if I make it , it will be much easier next month.
Although I have the urges and void I am very determined not to fap and I sometimes catch my brain rationalizing why I need/should fap but I know that feeling from when I quit tobacco. You get this feeling that everything will be fine once you use tobacco again and usually it is nice while you do it. The feeling afterwards however is the one you need to remember and internalize. It is a mixed feeling of guilt and despair. Remember that when you get urges. How will you feel after you satisfied your urge?
 

fcjl8

Active Member
Excellent post and reminders for all of us. Glad you are marching forward and so aware of how things are for you! Knowledge and awareness are lend great power in this battle.

Stay well brother.
 

alfonse

Member
7th day towards end. I caught myself thinking that the no-fapping has not improved my life. Its probably true. But what could you expect from 7 days. Its like starting to exercise and think you will be in shape in a week. Thinking that my brain is rewiring helped me through the day. The 7 day mark feels awesome too. Getting close to my record of 10 days and I feel really good about that. Fuck porn.
 

alfonse

Member
8th day over. Hardest day so far. I have been having sexual thoughts all day and have not been very productive.
Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

 

alfonse

Member
9th day over. today was much better and tomorrow is record day. I feel that writing here has made me a lot stronger and no matter what I will break my personal record and that is awesome. My sexual thoughts were spinning around today too but much less effective. Its like the brain understands(at least a little) that the only way to orgasm is with a woman and that its much better to start seeking joy in other places than from porn and masturbation.
 

alfonse

Member
10th day over. Record broken and it feels awesome!
Today I was very busy with stuff and it was not difficult to focus.
 

alfonse

Member
Boom. Fell back today but I dont feel that bad about it. I had built up a lot of tension and when I started to fap I quickly stopped browsing the porn. I felt that it actually turned me off and instead I wanted to use my own fantasy. And that feels like a win. Also thinking back on the last 11 days although I had a lot of urges and was battling them, towards the end I saw some positive signs like being more social and happy.

Back to day 1  8)
 
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