Today is 100 days porn free!
At the start of this reboot 100 days seemed like it was so far away, I wondered if I could make it. If you are reading this just starting out wondering if you can make it to day 100, you totally can! You just have to commit 100% to it, because your brain will try to trip you up as much as it can. It's not just your brain though, it's our culture, if you aren't careful, every where you look you'll face a trigger. That's why you have to be careful, don't browse website or social media where content is known to cause you to pmo. Don't sleep next to your phone (if that's an issue), put it in another room. I literally bought a phone with no internet and a watch with a vibration alarm (i needed to replace my apple watch which had a vibrate alarm - works perfect for not waking my wife up) to wake me up in the morning. I stopped watching TV and movies (aside from a few family friendly movies over the holidays). I went to some extremes to protect myself from being drawn back into viewing porn because I knew that if I didn't give it everything that I wouldn't be able to make it.
No sacrifice that you make to be free of this habit is too great - do whatever it takes!
The temptations are still there. Just yesterday (probably because of the crazy dream I woke up from) a thought came to me in the middle of the day "wouldn't it feel great to look at porn again and MO"... and I admitted to myself, yes it would feel great, at least for a few moments, my brain would get that heavy dose of dopamine that I trained it to crave. But I know i'd feel like a fraud, a failure, like complete garbage, and that I'd want to do it again and again, until I felt totally worthless. After a moment, the thoughts faded away and I moved on with my day.
Over the last 100 days a lot has changed in me. My emotions have leveled off, I have much more respect for myself and for women, my sex life with my wife has gotten way better, and I just feel better overall because I know that I'm doing something important, that will help me for the rest of my life. I would so much rather keep all these things then go back to getting that one momentary high with a massive crash after it's through.
I know I don't write that much on my journal, but just being accountable on here, even if it's just my daily number update, and reading a few posts on here, has all been very helpful - so thank you all for helping me reach 100.
I hope you all keep moving forward, one day at a time, porn free.
My next goal is 1 year PMO and MO free.