Day 55 - No PMO:
Seeing continuous improvement everyday is a good place to be both mentally and physically. I'm losing weight (primarily because I cut processed sugars) and have better mental clarity. I still do feel a problem with 'connecting the dots' in my head when critical thinking is required. I am also a bit forgetful these days but I still feel less 'clutter' or noise in my head. The feeling is hard to explain and I know this sounds a bit contradictory, but there are genuine changes happening in my head which I don't fully comprehend. I understand how addiction changes the brain in many areas (the PFC, the nucleus accumbens, the reward pathways, etc.), and that a large component of abstinence is rewiring the brain.
I trust my brain is making the right adjustments, and will do my part of not watching porn, eat processed food, etc. From the thousands of reports online of people recovering from caffeine/porn/sugar/alcohol abuse, I know that the light awaits me at the end of the tunnel.
I know not all addictions are created equal, but at the end of the day, an addiction is a subjective experience. For a recovering alcoholic, alcohol might be the worst drug on earth. But for a porn addict, alcohol might not even cross their minds (especially if they don't drink at all). You could argue all day about what addiction is worse, but it only matters that it is 'the worst' for you. And this is how I feel about caffeine. It is not seen as a horrible drug, and society has been pushing it for centuries. But for me, my recent experience with quitting caffeine has revealed to me how much it was damaging my life, sleep, and anxiety levels.