The future will be bright
- Thread starter strongfuture89
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strongfuture89
Member
Thank you, @CB
I´ve tried to keep it at a minimum. Times have been very stressy at work, having almost no free time. My girlfriend was slowly sinking into a burnout and in January she finally admitted that to her family and to herself. I was also honest saying that romance was very low when we were both working so much. She´s now at home, recovering. Life is mentally healthier for both of us now.
With that sidenote, I feel more energized and more motivated to stop P addiction. The last week I´ve been almost constantly clean but I´m not counting days here now. I wanted to say that I´m feeling better and getting more at peace with myself again.
I´ve tried to keep it at a minimum. Times have been very stressy at work, having almost no free time. My girlfriend was slowly sinking into a burnout and in January she finally admitted that to her family and to herself. I was also honest saying that romance was very low when we were both working so much. She´s now at home, recovering. Life is mentally healthier for both of us now.
With that sidenote, I feel more energized and more motivated to stop P addiction. The last week I´ve been almost constantly clean but I´m not counting days here now. I wanted to say that I´m feeling better and getting more at peace with myself again.
Nice to hear that things have turned for the better in your lives. It can be quite hard to manage sometimes, I think almost every year around Dec-January is a stressful time as well.
Yes, counting days is not everything in overcoming this addiction. Do what feels best for you and you’ll be making further progress.
Yes, counting days is not everything in overcoming this addiction. Do what feels best for you and you’ll be making further progress.
strongfuture89
Member
Thanks for the support! I´m building myself up again, rebooting myself and removing the bad influences that society can sometimes have on us.
I was watching a movie yesterday that probably clicks with lots of people here and the situation they´re in. It is the well-know Lion King actually. You see Simba leaving his social circle, leaving his duties as king-to-be, blaming himself and not giving value and respect to himself. Then, he meets two guys that are in a similar situation and say ´everything is okay, no worries, do not think about the future, be non-aggressive, have no goals in life,...´. When he reconnects with his father, which was a painful struggle throught the branches, he notices that he does have purpose in life, that there is much more than this hedonist, numbing, pleasure-first lifestyle. He becomes a father figure for his family, he reconnects with loved ones and cares for them again. Responsability for the family was an important aspect for his father and now he incorporates that in himself, only after leaving that numbing forest of his "adolescent asexual gang of drop-outs" as a psycho-analyst called the two friends Simba hung up with.
I was watching a movie yesterday that probably clicks with lots of people here and the situation they´re in. It is the well-know Lion King actually. You see Simba leaving his social circle, leaving his duties as king-to-be, blaming himself and not giving value and respect to himself. Then, he meets two guys that are in a similar situation and say ´everything is okay, no worries, do not think about the future, be non-aggressive, have no goals in life,...´. When he reconnects with his father, which was a painful struggle throught the branches, he notices that he does have purpose in life, that there is much more than this hedonist, numbing, pleasure-first lifestyle. He becomes a father figure for his family, he reconnects with loved ones and cares for them again. Responsability for the family was an important aspect for his father and now he incorporates that in himself, only after leaving that numbing forest of his "adolescent asexual gang of drop-outs" as a psycho-analyst called the two friends Simba hung up with.
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strongfuture89
Member
Checking-in again, doing good. There´s too many things that need to be done right now anyways as to not waste time on p, so I´m focused on my tasks and life. 
If I find more time, I´d like to do more workouts. It would be fun to have an extra chapter on this forum to discuss fitness, meditation,... everything that helps build the new self.
If I find more time, I´d like to do more workouts. It would be fun to have an extra chapter on this forum to discuss fitness, meditation,... everything that helps build the new self.
strongfuture89
Member
Today I had some triggers, but I´m doing my best to stay calm and disciplined. Destroying myself is not the answer.
At work I found motivation that if I´d spent all my time in working and not into pmo, at the end of the month, I´d get a bonus. I achieved the conditions for the bonus but in my talk with the staff chief, he told me I´d have to switch to an irregular payout which means more risk on bad days. (It´s a summary, details are too complex to explain here.)
So now a voice tells me: "Look, you could have spent your time in a hedonistic way and still get paid the same." That´s just absolutely demotivating after working with such good discipline for the last weeks! The drive to earn a bit more by working hard and not think about pmo was a good motivator. I´m afraid going back to the mindset of "I will just relax and earn the same money each month". It makes me bored, it makes me spend my time on stupid things. For my mental well-being, I think I prefer stress for irregural loan (and sometimes less money) than this comfortable lifestyle where I get paid the same each month but lose my motivation to grind and focus on working. Writing this down makes me even more certain. I understand people saying they want a job with stability and a fixed loan each month, but I think that´s exactly how I ended up being bored, unmotivated and addicted to pmo. I need those goals, I need to work my ass off. It gives me purpose.
At work I found motivation that if I´d spent all my time in working and not into pmo, at the end of the month, I´d get a bonus. I achieved the conditions for the bonus but in my talk with the staff chief, he told me I´d have to switch to an irregular payout which means more risk on bad days. (It´s a summary, details are too complex to explain here.)
So now a voice tells me: "Look, you could have spent your time in a hedonistic way and still get paid the same." That´s just absolutely demotivating after working with such good discipline for the last weeks! The drive to earn a bit more by working hard and not think about pmo was a good motivator. I´m afraid going back to the mindset of "I will just relax and earn the same money each month". It makes me bored, it makes me spend my time on stupid things. For my mental well-being, I think I prefer stress for irregural loan (and sometimes less money) than this comfortable lifestyle where I get paid the same each month but lose my motivation to grind and focus on working. Writing this down makes me even more certain. I understand people saying they want a job with stability and a fixed loan each month, but I think that´s exactly how I ended up being bored, unmotivated and addicted to pmo. I need those goals, I need to work my ass off. It gives me purpose.