To The Better Things in Life
- Thread starter TealCactus
- Start date
TealCactus
Member
I’m really frustrated to say I just relapsed. I couldn’t handle being alone in my apartment with my laptop. I started, stopped for a good two hours and thought I had gotten over the impulse, and then went back. I even journaled before I went back and was confident I wasn’t going to. Idk what’s wrong. Why is this so hard?
TealCactus
Member
It’s called CravingToQuit. I’ve only used it for a couple weeks but I think it’d be worth checking out. I got it from a Ted talk that a guy did on addiction
TealCactus
Member
I watched porn today again too. My wife is taking a job across the country and it’s been causing a lot of stress in our relationship while we get ready to move. I haven’t found a new job yet and she’s been really rude and aggressive about the planning of it all. It’s not an excuse, I’m just disappointed. I watched porn because my emotions were overwhelming and it felt like the only way in that moment that I could control my anger.
TealCactus
Member
Day 1 of 30
I had a good day today not watching or even getting close to looking at anything. I’ve been having a sort of spiritual reckoning lately with myself, and I’m realizing just how draining porn is on me. I’ve always known that, but I’m really trying to associate porn with death, because that’s what it is to me. It drains the life out of me, it makes my goals further away, it wastes my time and quite literally my life at the same time.
I had a good day today not watching or even getting close to looking at anything. I’ve been having a sort of spiritual reckoning lately with myself, and I’m realizing just how draining porn is on me. I’ve always known that, but I’m really trying to associate porn with death, because that’s what it is to me. It drains the life out of me, it makes my goals further away, it wastes my time and quite literally my life at the same time.
TealCactus
Member
Day 3 of 30
I’m really starting to get somewhere with nailing down porn as an obstacle to my goals in life. It’s incredibly difficult to overcome still, but developing a strong hatred for porn as something that saps the life and energy out of me to accomplish my goals is incredibly motivating.
I’m really starting to get somewhere with nailing down porn as an obstacle to my goals in life. It’s incredibly difficult to overcome still, but developing a strong hatred for porn as something that saps the life and energy out of me to accomplish my goals is incredibly motivating.
TealCactus
Member
Day 6 of 30
Damn, as if things couldn’t get any crazier—I’m having a kid lol. I’m actually really excited. My wife and I were very surprised, and we didn’t want kids for like, many more years, but I think it’ll be good.
Another perk, among many, is that my motivation to stop watching porn is through the roof, because who wants to go into fatherhood feeling like a bum? Not me! It’s not a solution, and I don’t want to pretend it is, but it’s a helpful perspective shift. I’m going to take advantage of it to drive this porn shit into the ground for good.
Damn, as if things couldn’t get any crazier—I’m having a kid lol. I’m actually really excited. My wife and I were very surprised, and we didn’t want kids for like, many more years, but I think it’ll be good.
Another perk, among many, is that my motivation to stop watching porn is through the roof, because who wants to go into fatherhood feeling like a bum? Not me! It’s not a solution, and I don’t want to pretend it is, but it’s a helpful perspective shift. I’m going to take advantage of it to drive this porn shit into the ground for good.
TealCactus
Member
I watched porn 3 times this week. I’m super disappointed but I learned not to bring my personal laptop to work. I have a closet office all by myself and it’s not a great situation for me. I learned for next week and I talked to my wife and therapist about it
TealCactus
Member
Day 9 of 30
I’m super hyped to be a streak this long; I think it’s one of the longest I’ve been in in a year. I’m really motivated to keep it up and quit. My job is still a tough environment for me, but I’ve been staying strong and I’m hoping I get a new job soon. I’m waiting to hear back after a final interview, so if all goes well I might be out of here soon.
I’m super hyped to be a streak this long; I think it’s one of the longest I’ve been in in a year. I’m really motivated to keep it up and quit. My job is still a tough environment for me, but I’ve been staying strong and I’m hoping I get a new job soon. I’m waiting to hear back after a final interview, so if all goes well I might be out of here soon.
Good luck!
TealCactus
Member
I haven’t checked in for awhile; this battle is still ongoing. I’m doing better lately. I installed covenant eyes on my phone and it’s been helping quite a bit. November was my best month in two years, with just a few relapses total. I really struggle with the sort-of-porn temptations, that are just as bad for me but easier to justify when I’m in a bad state of mind.
TealCactus
Member
Struggled with porn alternatives today. Alternatives is hardly a fair word since it's all porn. I have so many goals that feel put on hold until I beat this.
Blondie
Respected Member
Hang in there @TealCactus. Have you tried porn-blockers? Some guys here swear by them. At least until it gives you a few months or so of being clean, thus, you could then install new habits to get you on your feet. Just a thought.
Best.
Best.