To The Better Things in Life

TealCactus

Member
I think this is my third day with no porn this week? I’m feeling really good. Staying busy at work, even if it’s not work-related (I.e., playing a game or watching youtube), definitely can help me stay away from porn.
 

TealCactus

Member
I watched porn just once this week on Friday. It was a disappointing setback but I want to keep my head and not quit. I have so many exciting things going on in life (mostly trying to advance my career), and I don’t have the time or energy to put up with this porn addiction. I want it to be done for the rest of my life. Not even considering the awful mental and physical side effects, porn is just a plain ole waste of time
 

TypeN

Active Member
Good stuff man, setbacks aside. I think that attitude you have is key: keeping your head and not quitting. Sounds like you're headed in the right direction. :)
 

TealCactus

Member
Relapsed again today at work and told my wife shortly after. I really need to be careful from like 9-11 am, that’s when I relapse like 90% of the time.
 

TealCactus

Member
Ayo, I had a clean day yesterday and I’m feeling really good today too. I haven’t scheduled my next therapy appointment yet tho. Idk why, it just feels tiring sometimes but I know I need to go. I love my therapist, and it definitely helps a lot
 

TypeN

Active Member
Ayo, I had a clean day yesterday and I’m feeling really good today too. I haven’t scheduled my next therapy appointment yet tho. Idk why, it just feels tiring sometimes but I know I need to go. I love my therapist, and it definitely helps a lot
I feel you dude. I'm the same way, in my case not with therapy, but generally with doing things that are good for me but require some kind of "activation energy."

Maybe you could plan to reward yourself somehow after each session. Like, treating yourself to something good to eat, or setting aside a little money for your RC hobby.
 

TealCactus

Member
I’m starting a new reward system today. I’m clearing my spending account, (I have a main checking account for bills and necessities), and I’m going to give myself $5 everyday i dont want porn. On days that I do, I have to give $20 to my wife for her to spend on whatever. I have lots of things I’m saving up for so I think this will be some good tangible motivation to stay clean.
I’ve been down to once-twice a week lately, but when I do watch it’s usually long binge sessions at work, and I just don’t want it in my life at all. I’m recommitting to posting here once a day, going for a walk once a day during the morning, when I usually relapse. I say I’m going to post here more almost every time I post, so clearly I have issues with following through. That’s how I am in real life too, so I’m hoping that eventually I will follow through, and begin to practice that more in my life too.
 

TealCactus

Member
Relapsed today and didnt tell my wife. Idk why. I’m kinda struggling with our relationship this week, neither of us really hang out ever anymore or get along. I have therapy tomorrow though and then it’s a chill weekend so that’s always good, we tend to feel closer after a weekend together, we’re just so busy and tired on weekdays.
 

TypeN

Active Member
Relapsed today and didnt tell my wife. Idk why. I’m kinda struggling with our relationship this week, neither of us really hang out ever anymore or get along. I have therapy tomorrow though and then it’s a chill weekend so that’s always good, we tend to feel closer after a weekend together, we’re just so busy and tired on weekdays.

I wonder if there are any little rituals you guys could have during the week to bring you closer a little bit? I get the impression you care a lot about your wife, so I bet it's more you vs the problem (your busy life, addiction, other stresses) than you vs her. Maybe there's some little things you guys could do that could soften that tension even when you're busy.
 

TealCactus

Member
Hey everyone, I've been gone for awhile but I'm kicking things into full gear again. Today is Day 1 of 30. I'm shooting for 30 since that seems to be the standard for a good reset, and I think getting over the 14-day hump has always been the hardest challenge for me. I've been going to the gym, eating and sleeping well, and it's finally nice out in the Midwest! (At least today, Winter tends to come back when you least expect it). I've got a dog, my wife is aware that I've been watching porn, and I'm ready to finish this. I was listening to a podcast describe an addiction as an itch: you can force yourself to not scratch it, but the moment you stop focusing on not scratching it, you're going to instinctively scratch it. So my focus is going to be on focusing. I'm not going to scratch that itch. I'm going to lay out 6 habits, 4 of which I need to complete everyday:

1. Exercise
2. Journal (Reboot Nation counts for this)
3. Meditate
4. Code/math (hobbies of mine)
5. Go for a walk
6. Write (not journaling, more like creative writing)
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 2 of 30. Yesterday was pretty easy since I had the day off and was with my wife all day. It was a great day in terms of habits as well. I went to the gym, journaled, coded, and took my dog for a couple walks. Today should be pretty easy as well, but I need to get in a good mindset for the work week on Monday. Work is where I always end up watching porn, and it's a tough environment for me. I need to develop a good plan to make it through the week. My plan is to meditate each morning and post here. I also am planning to go for a couple walks throughout the day, just a short one mid morning and mid afternoon.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 3 of 30

Had a good day yesterday. Again I was with my wife most of the day but I also had a few hours alone where normally I would have relapsed. Today has also gone well. I’ve been focusing a lot on my overall health (exercise, mindfulness, etc.), which has definitely been helping
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 4 of 30

Todays going to be more challenging than the last few since I’ll be alone at work and at home later in the day, but I’ve been preparing as best I can to make sure it’s a good day. I went to the gym yesterday, I slept well, I had a good conversation with my wife last night about my addiction, I’m planning to meditate when I get to work, and I’m ready to turn to a “subsitute” coping mechanism like Netflix or YouTube if I’m feeling stressed at work (which is usually a big porn trigger).
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 5 of 30

Yesterday went really well. I meditated when I got to work and went for a walk at 10. I didn’t really even think of porn and when I did I was able to snuff it out quickly. I ended up staying home from work today with my wife so today should be pretty easy. I’m hella sore from the gym on Sunday but I’ll go back today for a light workout. Or at least to sit in the sauna lol.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 6 of 30

Back in the office today and I’m pretty tired mentally and physically. Normally that would be a bad place to start in, but with mediation and breaks I think I’ll be okay. The stress of my job tends to be a trigger but I’ve started looking for new jobs to move to a city closer to family so that’s giving me a lot more hope and motivation. 5 days of no porn is my longest streak in a while so I’m pumped to keep this going! I went for a run last night too and that definitely helped set today up well.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 7 of 30

this gonna be my first clean week in a while. I’m super pumped that I’ve been doing so well and porn is hardly on my mind. I’m definitely feeling the side effects of going off porn rn. The lack of dopamine is so real. I feel grouchy and lazy, but exercise and sleep and meditation has definitely helped. My workday was pretty stressful (had to confront my boss about some unfair feedback), but overall I’ve been handling it well.
 

TealCactus

Member
Day 8 of 30

another good day! I was feeling really crappy yesterday again but I didn’t relapse and I managed to still go to the gym last night. I’m feeling tired today as well but it’s really nice outside and I’m just happy it’s a Friday! I’m super pumped cus the weekends are always easier for me so I know I can make it this weekend, and I’m feeling super motivated to keep this going. I’m doing well managing my stress, even though I’m under some stressful circumstances that would normally be big triggers. I’m pretty close with my grandpa and he has a big surgery today to remove a mass from his spinal cord, and my jobs been pretty stressful lately too. Despite all that I’m feeling a lot closer to my wife and myself.
 
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