Fighting against 17 years of exposure and addiction

Cesar.

New Member
DAY 6

I am 32 years old and I have been using pornography for almost 2 decades. Right now I'm on a 6-day streak and feeling a strong withdrawal crisis. Pornography has made me anxious, insecure, angry, unfocused, fat, and overall a failure. I don't just have anxiety, I have General Anxiety Syndrome, which means I experience constant anxiety most of the time.

I'm really tired of be an nobody, I'm really tired to be a failure and I'm tired of feel that I'm live in the Askaban prison from Harry Potter (search this and you will find a relation beetween Askaban prison and porn addiction).

I'm with a huge headache for days, no disposition, depression and my blood pressure are higher than ever. All of this, just because this "harmless" thing called porn.

It's nice to share this jorney with you people. I'm really sick of this and I'll win this time. I've been trying to quit porn for at least 6 years without success but now is the time. Enough is enough. Just look what this shit done with my body and life. How can I continue or be complacent with this?! No! It's ends now!

Thanks for reading!
 
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Simon2

Well-Known Member
Welcome! I look forward to reading about your progress! Time to kick this shit out of your life! ... and trust me... after the first hard bit it DOES get easier. But it's really tough at first. Don't give up!
 

Warhawk

Active Member
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like your head is in the right place (as far as determination to quit goes), and you're starting with the right energy. Keep that fire and let it propel you into the life you deserve. Good luck in your journey!
 
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Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
I am 32 years old and I have been using pornography for almost 2 decades. Right now I'm on a 6-day streak and feeling a strong withdrawal crisis. Pornography has made me anxious, insecure, angry, unfocused, fat, and overall a failure. I don't just have anxiety, I have General Anxiety Syndrome, which means I experience constant anxiety most of the time.

I'm really tired of be an nobody, I'm really tired to be a failure and I'm tired of feel that I'm live in the Askaban prison from Harry Potter (search this and you will find a relation beetween Askaban prison and porn addiction).

I'm with a huge headache for days, no disposition, depression and my blood pressure are higher than ever. All of this, just because this "harmless" thing called porn.

It's nice to share this jorney with you people. I'm really sick of this and I'll win this time. I've been trying to quit porn for at least 6 years without success but now is the time. Enough is enough. Just look what this shit done with my body and life. How can I continue or be complacent with this?! No! It's ends now!

Thanks for reading!
It's crazy how much similar the stories are for some of us. What you wrote there resonates with me a lot because I'm the same. I will be 32 in a month, constant anxiety (feeling of dread), and a complete loser so far. I'm trying to turn my life around. I've been struggling with this shit since ~13, actively trying to quit porn for the last 6-7 years, 3-4 years on reboot nation but I feel I am one step closer to success. I've learned that at the core of my addiction (addictions) is trauma. Dr. Gabor Mate is a great source of information.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Nobody escapes porn addiction without a level of suffering. We need to accept it. The only way out is through. We choose between 2 sufferings: The suffering of binging porn and being an addict (everything that being a porn addict makes us experience) or the suffering of what the rebooting implies. And I guess we know what the best option is.
 

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
"When you're going through hell...keep going." (John Randall Dunn)
I can see why. When you are in the middle of Hell, to reach the exit door from Hell you technically still need to walk through Hell to do this. But the suffering of quitting porn is for the greater good, it leads to something, it's not in vain. The suffering brought by being a porn addict, that leads to nothing.
 

Cesar.

New Member
DAY 9

After several days with blood preasure around 140x100, today, finnally I have a nice 110x70, witch is great because if I have high pressure, I can't even exercised properly. I'll try today come back to the gym.


I'm taking some medications to estabilize humor. Lithium and Valeriana officinalis. As I'm backing to my normal activities like exercise and study and start to feeling happiness again. After all, realize that I've been in the middle of an withdrawal crise made more easy to cancel the effect on me because I'm no longer consern about the fact that I'm feeling so bad. I embraced and accepted


These past days have been rough because I feel none, not a single moment of joy. Only stress and lack of meaning in life. Wich is ironic because gave me more strengh to fight against this shit! Because it's litteraly like a drug! IF YOU TRY TO QUIT YOU'LL HAVE WITHDRAWL CRISES MAN! JESUS! THAT'S NO SHIT TO PLAY WITH!

So now I'm feeling happiness again and hope in life, and very happy with your support guys! Thanks a lot! Made me very happy!

To finish, I keep a warning to all of you. Be careful with the sweet voice of the "no harm just take a peak". That's where the devil lives.

STAY HARD GUYS!

THANKS FOR READING!
 
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