This is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness kind of thing so bear with me if it gets confusing. I'm not a very skilled writer, never was probably never will be. Probably. Who knows, maybe this could be the start of a new career. Anyway, I'm 23, I've never had a relationship and I'm still a virgin. I realized a while ago how porn is destroying everything in my life. Every bad aspect of my miserable life is made worse if not caused by porn. From my abysmal interpersonal skills to my practically absent self-esteem. I've always had trouble speaking to girls, actually most people in general but girls above all others. I had a horrible experience with school and I basically dropped out of middle school. I finished middle school from home basically. Then I tried going to high school and dropped out of that too. Finished high school basically from home too. All that to say that I've been really isolated for most of my life. I don't have any real hobbies or interests. Well, I do play a lot of games and watch a lot of stuff but I don't consider consuming media to be a hobby. I don't even know why I'm saying all this here, this probably isn't the place for that. Getting back on track, I've been trying to quit for about a couple of months, if not more. I've had plenty of relapses though, I think my longest streak was like 3 weeks. I think my curiosity and boredom tends to get the better of me. Couple that with how lonely I feel most of the time and my resolve starts shaking. I know of all the horrible effects of porn and it makes me feel like a schizophrenic every time I start a session, knowing that I'm destroying myself and yet being unable to quit. Then I start thinking about some really bad stuff. Feeling like I'm not worth it and all that. I started using when I was really young, around 12 I think, if not earlier. I really hate the pornographers and enablers that made life hell for me and a lot of other people like me so I'm trying to quit to spite them too. I will be better and I will kick this addiction, starting today. Damn this is rambley as hell, I should really learn how to format. I don't know if it's ok to just write whatever comes to mind here but I hope it is.