Hey all. It's good to be here. I've dabbled lightly in porn recovery communities over the years, but never seriously. I'm actually signing up with the intention of being active because I recently started working with a sex addiction therapist on this problem, and something he's stressed repeatedly is the importance of connecting with other addicts in achieving recovery. So, I'm glad to see that there's such a big, supportive community of people who are also trying to beat this problem. I would also say, if any of you have the opportunity to work with a therapist who specializes in addiction - and if you're fortunate like me, can find one who specializes in sex addiction - then by all means I'd recommend pursuing that; at least, I'm confident that it's going to be important and helpful tool for my own recovery journey. Just a tip, though. Uh ... YMMV (am I doing that right?).
Anyway, I've been a porn addict practically since I ever touched it, probably around 11-12 years old (I'm 25 now, so ... more than a decade). I was homeschooled from middle through high school, so I had a lot of time on my hands just sitting around, and while my parents made sure I was educated, they neglected many of my other basic human needs... didn't have any friends, any social life, any athletic outlet, and so on. To top it off, they were pretty authoritarian, especially when I was little, so I never felt able to confide in them about this problem without fear of some kind of punishing reprisal. My porn use wasn't so bad at first, because the whole internet was "new and shiny" to me, so to speak, and so I kept myself busy with a myriad of interesting distractions much of the time ... video games, youtube, forums, music and tv shows, and so on. But as I got more and more mentally unhealthy and isolated during high school, it got worse and worse: both in terms of time, and the kind of porn I was consuming. It continued to be a problem through college, but things became particularly crippling when the pandemic hit. I was a recent graduate, jobless and stuck at home with my parents for the better part of a year, with all the time in the world and all the most depressing thoughts I needed to fuel the worst kind of binges. I'm talking many days spent almost entirely on PMO. Its always been bad, but the pandemic for me I think really marked a turning point from "this is bad for my well-being, both mental and physical" to "I will literally destroy my life if I keep behaving this way." I've wasted countless hours watching all kinds of shit, and it's left a real blight on my soul. I badly want to be free of this stuff; it's holding me back, and I don't want to lose any more of my life to it.
As of right now, I'm not clean; the last time I PMO'd was today. That being said, I've managed to reduce my consumption a lot in the last month; but I want to start getting really clean. Most of my recent reductions in use have relied upon software interventions I've made on both my computer and phone (shoutout to Cold Turkey). But what I've learned from using these tools over the past year is that are always loopholes if you're creative enough, and my addict brain is infinitely stubborn in seeking out workarounds, so... a permanent solution needs to come from within. So that's what has brought me to therapy, and what brings me here.
Anyway, if you read this far, thank you for your time. If you have any questions, suggestions, or want to connect feel free to reply or reach out. Like everyone else, I'll be using my thread to track progress and journal about my path to getting clean.
Cheers folks. Wishing you all the best in your own recovery journeys.
Anyway, I've been a porn addict practically since I ever touched it, probably around 11-12 years old (I'm 25 now, so ... more than a decade). I was homeschooled from middle through high school, so I had a lot of time on my hands just sitting around, and while my parents made sure I was educated, they neglected many of my other basic human needs... didn't have any friends, any social life, any athletic outlet, and so on. To top it off, they were pretty authoritarian, especially when I was little, so I never felt able to confide in them about this problem without fear of some kind of punishing reprisal. My porn use wasn't so bad at first, because the whole internet was "new and shiny" to me, so to speak, and so I kept myself busy with a myriad of interesting distractions much of the time ... video games, youtube, forums, music and tv shows, and so on. But as I got more and more mentally unhealthy and isolated during high school, it got worse and worse: both in terms of time, and the kind of porn I was consuming. It continued to be a problem through college, but things became particularly crippling when the pandemic hit. I was a recent graduate, jobless and stuck at home with my parents for the better part of a year, with all the time in the world and all the most depressing thoughts I needed to fuel the worst kind of binges. I'm talking many days spent almost entirely on PMO. Its always been bad, but the pandemic for me I think really marked a turning point from "this is bad for my well-being, both mental and physical" to "I will literally destroy my life if I keep behaving this way." I've wasted countless hours watching all kinds of shit, and it's left a real blight on my soul. I badly want to be free of this stuff; it's holding me back, and I don't want to lose any more of my life to it.
As of right now, I'm not clean; the last time I PMO'd was today. That being said, I've managed to reduce my consumption a lot in the last month; but I want to start getting really clean. Most of my recent reductions in use have relied upon software interventions I've made on both my computer and phone (shoutout to Cold Turkey). But what I've learned from using these tools over the past year is that are always loopholes if you're creative enough, and my addict brain is infinitely stubborn in seeking out workarounds, so... a permanent solution needs to come from within. So that's what has brought me to therapy, and what brings me here.
Anyway, if you read this far, thank you for your time. If you have any questions, suggestions, or want to connect feel free to reply or reach out. Like everyone else, I'll be using my thread to track progress and journal about my path to getting clean.
Cheers folks. Wishing you all the best in your own recovery journeys.
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