Hey, nice coloring on calendar! Day 4 is still a good score, countless times it would be hard to reach even that. You come to the new year at least not empty handed. I tried in the past MO without P (even bought a sex toy), but ended up with PMO again. I do believe that MO can be healthy, but in first time of recovery (1-3 months) I think it's better to cut out PMO fully. Neurons that fire together wire together
Moving forward!
- Thread starter TypeN
- Start date
Thanks dude; you're right, and that's a good way of looking at it. And "neurons that fire together wire together" -- love that!
Well, actually I just read it here) https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/mis...-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/ And looks like the correct phrase is "neural cells that fire together, wire together"
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Hey @TypeN - happy that I've inspired you with the colors.
Good that you're quickly getting back up after the little hick up. Good luck with no MO, it's not necessarily easy (esp. at the beginning, but I do feel like it then brings out a lot of other, nicer energy!). Your colours may suggest that MO is a slippery slope and may lead to PMO.
Stay strong!
Good that you're quickly getting back up after the little hick up. Good luck with no MO, it's not necessarily easy (esp. at the beginning, but I do feel like it then brings out a lot of other, nicer energy!). Your colours may suggest that MO is a slippery slope and may lead to PMO.
Stay strong!
Thanks mate! I appreciate it.
11/22 →
← Today, 01/03.Day 7. I had an incident with substitutes yesterday. I’m deciding not to call it a relapse this time, but I also want to take account of it. So I’m adding yellow to my chart to keep track of such days. I'm also going to take some initiative by posting here all week, regardless of whether I’m struggling: with observations about this process, but also about things that are going well in my life. This way I can cultivate some gratitude.
Today I described porn to my therapist with an analogy that he told me to share: imagine a fictional sort of cigarette that comes in an infinite variety of flavors. Say you could have any flavor you wanted at any point in time. If you smoked these, you might say to yourself: this is amazing! There’s an endless variety, so I always have a fresh experience. For me, this is how porn has “felt” sometimes when I’m in the throes of addiction. There’s so much novelty, how can other experiences compare? But the distance I’ve gotten from porn use in the past month has allowed me to experience many other kinds of pleasure. So I can see it for what it really is: an “infinite variety”… of just one thing. Porn is stimulating, but watching it is boring; stimulation addicts me, but that does not make it entertaining.
On that note, I wanted to take a moment to appreciate how cooking has been more and more a part of my life lately! Having reclaimed so much energy through sobriety, I’ve been doing more cooking, more than I’ve ever done. I do a lot of it as meal prep, cooking meals for 4-7 days at once, for convenience. But I’ve also been cooking smaller batches here and there, trying new recipes just for variety … sweets, snacks, smaller meals. Sometimes it turns out pretty average, but a lot of it has been really quite great. It’s giving me a new appreciation for how easy it is to cook meals that taste way better than restaurant fare. I’m about to go make some cider with a batch of apples that were too bitter to eat; in the past I would have likely tossed them, but now I have the energy to experiment and avoid food waste. Feeling grateful.
That's all for now. Tomorrow will be a no-MO day.
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Winnerwhoabstains
Active Member
So true about cooking! We forget restaurants are actually not very good, just most people are so used to not cooking. Enjoy that food.
That is a very good analogy about the endless variety of cigarettes. Plus, most addiction highjack the nueral pathways in our brain that give pleasure related to mating, so porn can do that perhaps more directly than other addictions.
My personal experience was that MO was a problem for me and I don't do it at all. Not saying you have to do this, but it is VERY possible to simple not MO. I believe some religions this is the norm, in the west it's like made fun of, but in some places many/most of the people really do follow this with no negative effects.
I have also gone over a year without it and it absolutely becomes easier overtime, I found it much easier than moderating it.
Not saying that is the solution, just want to point it out. As my addiction brain would come up with BS like one has to do it. I have no moral qualms with MO, just like some people drink alcohol in moderation and others go off the deep end and need to stop it totally, it is like that for me.
The reccomendation I was given, was to follow a schedule. Like not doing it by feel.
I.E mo Monday and Thursday. It did not work for me, but I believe has worked for others.
Not saying to do any of this - just food for thought on MO!
That is a very good analogy about the endless variety of cigarettes. Plus, most addiction highjack the nueral pathways in our brain that give pleasure related to mating, so porn can do that perhaps more directly than other addictions.
My personal experience was that MO was a problem for me and I don't do it at all. Not saying you have to do this, but it is VERY possible to simple not MO. I believe some religions this is the norm, in the west it's like made fun of, but in some places many/most of the people really do follow this with no negative effects.
I have also gone over a year without it and it absolutely becomes easier overtime, I found it much easier than moderating it.
Not saying that is the solution, just want to point it out. As my addiction brain would come up with BS like one has to do it. I have no moral qualms with MO, just like some people drink alcohol in moderation and others go off the deep end and need to stop it totally, it is like that for me.
The reccomendation I was given, was to follow a schedule. Like not doing it by feel.
I.E mo Monday and Thursday. It did not work for me, but I believe has worked for others.
Not saying to do any of this - just food for thought on MO!
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Hey TypeN,
Very good analogy. I re-read some materials on YourBrainOnPorn, and especially the Rebooting Basics and I found it quite useful. These are just things that we know but it reminds us why we're doing it and which things to be aware of... https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...m-porn-addiction/rebooting-basics-start-here/
Super nice news about cooking. If this can bring you satisfaction and even pleasure, it is so good to acknowledge it. The more you acknowledge it, the more your brain identifies it as a rewarding activity. And... that might off the scope of this forum here... but, do share some recipes hehe.
Very good analogy. I re-read some materials on YourBrainOnPorn, and especially the Rebooting Basics and I found it quite useful. These are just things that we know but it reminds us why we're doing it and which things to be aware of... https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/too...m-porn-addiction/rebooting-basics-start-here/
Super nice news about cooking. If this can bring you satisfaction and even pleasure, it is so good to acknowledge it. The more you acknowledge it, the more your brain identifies it as a rewarding activity. And... that might off the scope of this forum here... but, do share some recipes hehe.
Hey guys, sorry for dropping off. I had another relapse a few days ago, and this time it was a pretty bad one. So I just needed a few days to get my head clear and come back with some progress. I won’t write an essay about it, but it sucked. It had a real grip on me, including with the delusions of pleasure stuff I’ve talked about before.
On a brighter note, though, including today thus far, 3 out of the last 4 days since relapse have been MO free. Trying to look at things constructively and just see the relapse as the kick in the pants I needed to try harder.
← Today, 01/08.
Positive things that have been happening:
- I invited three friends over Friday and they helped me cook a traditional dish from my dad’s culture (North African food). The food turned out excellently, which I am very proud of. And I had a great time with these people, who I have grown closer to since starting this journey (there is a direct relationship between those two things; I had “known” them and been “friendly” with them for almost a year before. But only once I started getting sober did I start actually inviting them into my life as friends).
- I had my sister over earlier last week too, before the relapse, and had a nice time with her. And then yesterday I brought her some of the food I made with those friends, which made her happy.
- I’ve been reading books. Two of them! And non-fiction ones, which I’ve struggled to stay with in the past. A good way to spend my spare time at work, which has been quiet lately.
- I finally received a shipment of a few new shirts that I’ve been looking forward to for awhile.
- I’ve been making drawings again, trying new kinds of food … the list goes on.
I am thankful for all these things.
Anyway ... I’m glad you guys liked the analogy! At first I thought it was a little silly, but I posted it because my therapist appreciated it too and thought I should share. I’m happy it resonates with your perspectives.
I think I’m feeling the same way as you did. Right now, pre-reboot, it is a problem for me. I am now trying to stop it completely during my reboot. If by chance that does not work out, I will certainly give this approach you mention a try: try to focus on days where I feel like I could go without. On days where I do feel a strong inclination, at least no fantasies allowed. But firstly, I will not give up on cutting it out completely without a serious try!
For sure man, you’re right. YBOP is a resource I should I use. I bought the audiobook because my therapist recommended it; I need to actually listen to it.
About food, absolutely. I’ll dm you.
On a brighter note, though, including today thus far, 3 out of the last 4 days since relapse have been MO free. Trying to look at things constructively and just see the relapse as the kick in the pants I needed to try harder.
← Today, 01/08.Positive things that have been happening:
- I invited three friends over Friday and they helped me cook a traditional dish from my dad’s culture (North African food). The food turned out excellently, which I am very proud of. And I had a great time with these people, who I have grown closer to since starting this journey (there is a direct relationship between those two things; I had “known” them and been “friendly” with them for almost a year before. But only once I started getting sober did I start actually inviting them into my life as friends).
- I had my sister over earlier last week too, before the relapse, and had a nice time with her. And then yesterday I brought her some of the food I made with those friends, which made her happy.
- I’ve been reading books. Two of them! And non-fiction ones, which I’ve struggled to stay with in the past. A good way to spend my spare time at work, which has been quiet lately.
- I finally received a shipment of a few new shirts that I’ve been looking forward to for awhile.
- I’ve been making drawings again, trying new kinds of food … the list goes on.
I am thankful for all these things.
Anyway ... I’m glad you guys liked the analogy! At first I thought it was a little silly, but I posted it because my therapist appreciated it too and thought I should share. I’m happy it resonates with your perspectives.
I think I’m feeling the same way as you did. Right now, pre-reboot, it is a problem for me. I am now trying to stop it completely during my reboot. If by chance that does not work out, I will certainly give this approach you mention a try: try to focus on days where I feel like I could go without. On days where I do feel a strong inclination, at least no fantasies allowed. But firstly, I will not give up on cutting it out completely without a serious try!
For sure man, you’re right. YBOP is a resource I should I use. I bought the audiobook because my therapist recommended it; I need to actually listen to it.
About food, absolutely. I’ll dm you.
Winnerwhoabstains
Active Member
Well done on coming back and bouncing back!
Remember though : no mo or to mo either is your choice.
also for the schedule I reccomend it be planned in advance -
basically when it comes to an addiction doing things by “feel” never works as our feelings/ cravings when addicted to something are haywire.
In fact, a lot more people quit drugs and alcohol then pmo for this reason. It is a simple ONE decisions - no drinking.
when flexibility and playing things by ear comes i to play it just about always becomes a very slippery slope very fast.
So hard and fast rules are crucial.
If mo is included it must be planned. I.e Mon and Thurs or just thurs no matter how you may feel on wends etc. Relying on feelings absolutely will not work when it comes to an addiction.
sorry if it sounds bossy - I just want to make it really clear, as I have been around rebooting a TON ( I relapsed during a massive crisis that ruined my life, but am very experienced)
and the “by feel” I have never seen work.
most people have to kind of go through the process of seeing “by feel” mo does not work
Or that mo does not work for them. Byt, I think me saying it directly will at least speed up that process for you, if not allow you to skip it
Remember though : no mo or to mo either is your choice.
also for the schedule I reccomend it be planned in advance -
basically when it comes to an addiction doing things by “feel” never works as our feelings/ cravings when addicted to something are haywire.
In fact, a lot more people quit drugs and alcohol then pmo for this reason. It is a simple ONE decisions - no drinking.
when flexibility and playing things by ear comes i to play it just about always becomes a very slippery slope very fast.
So hard and fast rules are crucial.
If mo is included it must be planned. I.e Mon and Thurs or just thurs no matter how you may feel on wends etc. Relying on feelings absolutely will not work when it comes to an addiction.
sorry if it sounds bossy - I just want to make it really clear, as I have been around rebooting a TON ( I relapsed during a massive crisis that ruined my life, but am very experienced)
and the “by feel” I have never seen work.
most people have to kind of go through the process of seeing “by feel” mo does not work
Or that mo does not work for them. Byt, I think me saying it directly will at least speed up that process for you, if not allow you to skip it
Today, in a break from my usual programming, I’m going to tell a little story.
See, I have this hat. I brought it with me on my bike ride to the gym tonight. As I’m leaving the gym, I realize … I don’t have my hat!
So I go back inside to see if anyone turned it in to lost and found. Alas, no hat. At this point I’m thinking I must have dropped it somewhere on the walk from the Citibike station to my gym. I think to myself, “I won’t be getting that hat back.” I could have dropped it anywhere on that stretch of New York City blocks. Somebody could have made off with it. Hell, it’s a windy night. The hat may well have blown away.
I’m sad. It was a baseball cap I got at commencement for my graduation from college. It has sentimental value. But then I console myself: “at least I am sad because I have lost my hat … and not sad because I hate everything that the way I spend my days represents” (you know, jerking off endlessly to strange porn). I let out a pained chuckle.
And then, as I approach the Citibike station, I see a vague blob on the pavement, in the shadows. … Could it be? By god, it is! My hat! A passing lady's dog barks angrily at my excited dash to retrieve it. But I am unbothered, for I have regained my esteemed head covering.
Anyway yeah, that was today. 3 days MO free. And happily not hat-free.
← Today, 01/09.
See, I have this hat. I brought it with me on my bike ride to the gym tonight. As I’m leaving the gym, I realize … I don’t have my hat!
So I go back inside to see if anyone turned it in to lost and found. Alas, no hat. At this point I’m thinking I must have dropped it somewhere on the walk from the Citibike station to my gym. I think to myself, “I won’t be getting that hat back.” I could have dropped it anywhere on that stretch of New York City blocks. Somebody could have made off with it. Hell, it’s a windy night. The hat may well have blown away.
I’m sad. It was a baseball cap I got at commencement for my graduation from college. It has sentimental value. But then I console myself: “at least I am sad because I have lost my hat … and not sad because I hate everything that the way I spend my days represents” (you know, jerking off endlessly to strange porn). I let out a pained chuckle.
And then, as I approach the Citibike station, I see a vague blob on the pavement, in the shadows. … Could it be? By god, it is! My hat! A passing lady's dog barks angrily at my excited dash to retrieve it. But I am unbothered, for I have regained my esteemed head covering.
Anyway yeah, that was today. 3 days MO free. And happily not hat-free.
← Today, 01/09.Thanks for sharing your experience man. That makes sense! I think there may be a future where I could allow masturbation in my life in a more laissez-faire way, but as far as a reboot is concerned, I suspect you're certainly right. My brain needs time to rewire before I can have a healthy "natural" relationship with self-pleasure (if indeed I can; but I'll cross that bridge when I get there).
And honestly, it has been pretty easy to say no to MO these past few days. I have experienced temptation for sure, but I feel like something has also clicked for me. Nothing happens if I just say no to MO. I experience a feeling of tension, and then, like all feelings, it passes if I let it. At least that's been my experience so far. Hoping it stays like this to a degree!
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Winnerwhoabstains
Active Member
Absolutely! Keep up the good work. Yeah I find 0 mo is actually wayyy easier then doing a small amount. Sometimes strong urges will hit but they fade. I personally find the better my reboot, the faster my progress. Like quality is as important as quality. The more bad stuff I can cut out (without getting too perfectionist) the better.
Awesome about the hat!! That is so cool. Little things like that are so nice, and it is a great story to write, reliving and re feeling the gratitude.
Awesome about the hat!! That is so cool. Little things like that are so nice, and it is a great story to write, reliving and re feeling the gratitude.
Well, a couple hours into my bedtime last night I got an erection, started thinking sexual thoughts, and ultimately let myself MO. My sleep was generally disturbed last night, probably because I had just done heavy deadlifts at the gym a few hours before. I think what happened is that I let myself "believe" the arousal would keep me awake, as an excuse to think sexual thoughts and ultimately act out; that, coupled with impaired judgement from being only partially awake. Surprise surprise, MO'ing didn't help me sleep. It just woke me up more and made my brain feel all weirdly fried, making it that much harder to pass out.
Anyway, just a lapse. Back to business. A good reminder that I need to listen critically to my body ... in this case, the message is that I need to not lift heavy so close to bedtime if I want to sleep well. If my "body" is telling me to jerk off, it's very likely not my body talking, but my addiction.
← Today, 01/09.
Thanks mate. I think you're exactly right, the cleaner I can make the abstinence the faster it can help me. I'm glad you liked the story!
Anyway, just a lapse. Back to business. A good reminder that I need to listen critically to my body ... in this case, the message is that I need to not lift heavy so close to bedtime if I want to sleep well. If my "body" is telling me to jerk off, it's very likely not my body talking, but my addiction.
← Today, 01/09.Thanks mate. I think you're exactly right, the cleaner I can make the abstinence the faster it can help me. I'm glad you liked the story!
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
I love that you’re cultivating gratitude. Such a nice thing to do.
I just loved the story of your hat. First, I loved it when you said you were sad because of the hat and not for watching porn aimlessly. And then the joy of finding the hat back… Thanks for sharing.
Happy that you’re trying to stay out of MO. I completely get the same thing about your brain telling you that if you can’t sleep, MO will help. I’ve had that many many times, as I often have trouble sleeping. Same conclusion as you: it does not help!
Porn (and usually MO, to a lesser degree) doesn’t help me with my sleep and my inner tensions. It doesn’t help me with my boredom. And it doesn’t help me with my self confidence.
I just loved the story of your hat. First, I loved it when you said you were sad because of the hat and not for watching porn aimlessly. And then the joy of finding the hat back… Thanks for sharing.
Happy that you’re trying to stay out of MO. I completely get the same thing about your brain telling you that if you can’t sleep, MO will help. I’ve had that many many times, as I often have trouble sleeping. Same conclusion as you: it does not help!
Porn (and usually MO, to a lesser degree) doesn’t help me with my sleep and my inner tensions. It doesn’t help me with my boredom. And it doesn’t help me with my self confidence.
Winnerwhoabstains
Active Member
Very well put that the "need" to masturbate is very likely the addiction talking. I would personally say it is ALWAYS the addiction talking, as the body NEVER needs to masturbate. Literally never NEEDS to. For some people there may be a future healthy "want" but never a true NEED.
Also - good idea not to lift so late. I will also say, something I find helpful is having in my "back pocket" the idea that it is okay to not sleep. Like some nights no matter what sleeping is hard.
Sometimes I would have urges that would keep me up, but as you said, giving in to the urge still often led to lack of sleep.
So just accepting that a night without sleep may happen from time to time is helpful. IF there is an acceptance like that the addiction has little ability to tell lies , like needing to do it to sleep or something.
A really cool thing I noticed is : IF I got a really strong urge at night and barely slept but beat it - like just commited like idc if I need to stay out of bed until 6:00 am ( bed is the danger spot for me during an urge) - and just went for walks and was willing to battle it all night. No matter how little I slept, I'd feel great the next day. I geuss it's good for the soul, or just deep down my body knows I did the right healthy thing.
Basically certain underlying mentalities make it harder for the addiction to penetrate.
So not needing to sleep - thinking I can stay up all night
And thinking - you know I never need to masturbate, my body does not NEED it.
Nips in the bud some of the rationalizations, in my experience. Plus both have just been helpful to me, as me personally I know FOR SURE - masturbation is a NEVER. - though that is not the case for many many people. And I did have urges that kept me up for much of the night at times, but beating them was soooo worth it, long term it results in WAY more sleep, due to the addiction not keeping me up, sleeping better etc.
Also - good idea not to lift so late. I will also say, something I find helpful is having in my "back pocket" the idea that it is okay to not sleep. Like some nights no matter what sleeping is hard.
Sometimes I would have urges that would keep me up, but as you said, giving in to the urge still often led to lack of sleep.
So just accepting that a night without sleep may happen from time to time is helpful. IF there is an acceptance like that the addiction has little ability to tell lies , like needing to do it to sleep or something.
A really cool thing I noticed is : IF I got a really strong urge at night and barely slept but beat it - like just commited like idc if I need to stay out of bed until 6:00 am ( bed is the danger spot for me during an urge) - and just went for walks and was willing to battle it all night. No matter how little I slept, I'd feel great the next day. I geuss it's good for the soul, or just deep down my body knows I did the right healthy thing.
Basically certain underlying mentalities make it harder for the addiction to penetrate.
So not needing to sleep - thinking I can stay up all night
And thinking - you know I never need to masturbate, my body does not NEED it.
Nips in the bud some of the rationalizations, in my experience. Plus both have just been helpful to me, as me personally I know FOR SURE - masturbation is a NEVER. - though that is not the case for many many people. And I did have urges that kept me up for much of the night at times, but beating them was soooo worth it, long term it results in WAY more sleep, due to the addiction not keeping me up, sleeping better etc.
That sounds like a good reflection. Best of lucks to you, keep going at it!Well, a couple hours into my bedtime last night I got an erection, started thinking sexual thoughts, and ultimately let myself MO. My sleep was generally disturbed last night, probably because I had just done heavy deadlifts at the gym a few hours before. I think what happened is that I let myself "believe" the arousal would keep me awake, as an excuse to think sexual thoughts and ultimately act out; that, coupled with impaired judgement from being only partially awake. Surprise surprise, MO'ing didn't help me sleep. It just woke me up more and made my brain feel all weirdly fried, making it that much harder to pass out.
Anyway, just a lapse. Back to business. A good reminder that I need to listen critically to my body ... in this case, the message is that I need to not lift heavy so close to bedtime if I want to sleep well. If my "body" is telling me to jerk off, it's very likely not my body talking, but my addiction.
Thanks mate. I think you're exactly right, the cleaner I can make the abstinence the faster it can help me. I'm glad you liked the story!
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← Today, 01/09.Hello guys. Sorry for dropping off, I got overwhelmed by this week. But thank you for your support -- I really appreciate it.
I had a little porn relapse yesterday unfortunately. It was only about a half hour long, and it was a kind of softcore content. But I’m not going to lie to myself; I MO’d with images on a screen, so it was a relapse.
I have had mixed success with no MO these past days. Honestly, I think I might not have relapsed to P if I hadn’t been trying no MO. But I don’t take that as a sign that no MO isn’t right for me. Instead, what it shows is that this is the real challenge I must face. If no porn was healing my brain well enough, I would not relapse to porn after failing to abstain from MO. But I did; both this time and after my last no MO streak. If I really want to change my brain, I need to reinvent my daily life without compulsive sexual behavior.
As far as the reasons I’ve struggled to avoid MO, I think there are several:
1) I've let myself get sucked into ruminating sexually during the day, at times; like I've noticed before. There are a variety of triggers for this, including emotions like loneliness, but I have not effectively intervened in this thinking as it starts happening. So on any given day it slowly snowballs, I indulge it, and then it feels like a coin toss whether or not I ultimately decide to MO.
2) Sleep deprivation; I have not fixed my sleep schedule, while at the same time I’ve increased the frequency with which I lift weights and do other productive activities, like applying for new jobs, looking out for my family, and so on — putting further energy demands on my mind and body. I know fatigue is a core risk factor for me. It makes it much harder to control rumination in general, including sexual rumination. But I’ve been putting off fixing it. That has to change.
3) Finally I’m not being as consistent with little habits as I should be. I have not meditated, or journaled, or done other such exercises consistently, and so I am struggling to establish a resilient, lucid mindset when faced with urges. I also need to post here more often.
I want to do a few things in response to this situation, but I’ll start with the following 2:
- For the next 3 days including today, I will wake up, eat breakfast, and then meditate. After meditating, I will make a post in my journal here each day. It doesn’t have to be a long one; just whatever I feel like saying. That way, before anything else I do these next few days, I have set a positive, sober tone for my mindset and day.
- I will plan to flip my sleep schedule so that I get up early and work out. Monday is the day I will begin this switch; I will get up around 6, and go to the gym, no matter how I feel. I may be sleep deprived — but if and when I am, I will remind myself that I have been sleep deprived anyway, every day of the work week, because of my messed up sleep schedule, and making this change will help me fix that. And I will not push myself too hard in the gym, as I get started with this.
Good luck!
Hello guys. Sorry for dropping off, I got overwhelmed by this week. But thank you for your support -- I really appreciate it.
I had a little porn relapse yesterday unfortunately. It was only about a half hour long, and it was a kind of softcore content. But I’m not going to lie to myself; I MO’d with images on a screen, so it was a relapse.
I have had mixed success with no MO these past days. Honestly, I think I might not have relapsed to P if I hadn’t been trying no MO. But I don’t take that as a sign that no MO isn’t right for me. Instead, what it shows is that this is the real challenge I must face. If no porn was healing my brain well enough, I would not relapse to porn after failing to abstain from MO. But I did; both this time and after my last no MO streak. If I really want to change my brain, I need to reinvent my daily life without compulsive sexual behavior.
As far as the reasons I’ve struggled to avoid MO, I think there are several:
1) I've let myself get sucked into ruminating sexually during the day, at times; like I've noticed before. There are a variety of triggers for this, including emotions like loneliness, but I have not effectively intervened in this thinking as it starts happening. So on any given day it slowly snowballs, I indulge it, and then it feels like a coin toss whether or not I ultimately decide to MO.
2) Sleep deprivation; I have not fixed my sleep schedule, while at the same time I’ve increased the frequency with which I lift weights and do other productive activities, like applying for new jobs, looking out for my family, and so on — putting further energy demands on my mind and body. I know fatigue is a core risk factor for me. It makes it much harder to control rumination in general, including sexual rumination. But I’ve been putting off fixing it. That has to change.
3) Finally I’m not being as consistent with little habits as I should be. I have not meditated, or journaled, or done other such exercises consistently, and so I am struggling to establish a resilient, lucid mindset when faced with urges. I also need to post here more often.
I want to do a few things in response to this situation, but I’ll start with the following 2:
In the next couple days I'll brainstorm here about what else I can do (of course I also welcome suggestions). That's all for now though.
- For the next 3 days including today, I will wake up, eat breakfast, and then meditate. After meditating, I will make a post in my journal here each day. It doesn’t have to be a long one; just whatever I feel like saying. That way, before anything else I do these next few days, I have set a positive, sober tone for my mindset and day.
- I will plan to flip my sleep schedule so that I get up early and work out. Monday is the day I will begin this switch; I will get up around 6, and go to the gym, no matter how I feel. I may be sleep deprived — but if and when I am, I will remind myself that I have been sleep deprived anyway, every day of the work week, because of my messed up sleep schedule, and making this change will help me fix that. And I will not push myself too hard in the gym, as I get started with this.
I have been struggling with insomnia in the past, and is incredible the benefits you can get from having a good sleep hygiene.
In my case, I made a strict schedule of stoping any digital devices one hour before my set bed time, and just reading from that moment until I went to sleep.
After a week I could really feel the influences of having a strict sleep schedule: it improved my mood a lot and it helped with my anxiety/depression problems a lot.
Sleeping is very important and a good schedule, however simple it is, is super beneficial!
I really encourage you to do that, with only a few changes toy can get big benefits, st least in my experience.
With that said, I find it difficult to follow my sleep schedule and I don't do it consistently to this day, but I know it really helps, at least if you are struggling with stress or mental problems. I encourage you to make an effort into it.
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Hey TypeN.
First, good thing your relapse was short. Less impact on your brain and morale!
Then, good clarity on where you're at. Impressive actually. I believe you can make the goals you've set for yourself in the coming days a reality. A morning routine helps a lot finding balance.
Good luck! Looking forward to reading your daily journals in the coming days.
First, good thing your relapse was short. Less impact on your brain and morale!
Then, good clarity on where you're at. Impressive actually. I believe you can make the goals you've set for yourself in the coming days a reality. A morning routine helps a lot finding balance.
Good luck! Looking forward to reading your daily journals in the coming days.
Thank you guys, for the thoughtful advice and encouragement.
My plan got a little derailed today by two things that I had to get straight up and take care of first -- but I made sure to circle back around and take care of them just now.
And it feels good! Not just the benefits I get from the activities themselves (like a sense of calm from meditating), but the idea that I am doing these good things to help me change my mindset. That knowledge is reassuring.
I will channel these good feelings into making good on my plans for tomorrow morning. A little sleep deprivation won't be so bad for one morning when I know I can look forward to more of these feelings. Fixing my sleep will help me find much more of this feeling of balance.
My plan got a little derailed today by two things that I had to get straight up and take care of first -- but I made sure to circle back around and take care of them just now.
And it feels good! Not just the benefits I get from the activities themselves (like a sense of calm from meditating), but the idea that I am doing these good things to help me change my mindset. That knowledge is reassuring.
I will channel these good feelings into making good on my plans for tomorrow morning. A little sleep deprivation won't be so bad for one morning when I know I can look forward to more of these feelings.
Fixing my sleep will help me find much more of this feeling of balance.