Glad to read you are still doing well and were able to delete those accounts. I can relate to that feeling of deleting all the ties to the addiction being liberating though I remember how I struggled at the time with doing so.
Learn to love withdrawals
That was a very brave post my man. This part about hypnosis I can identify with. The way I went was sissy hypno and I think it was to try and break myself in a way. Like "you ARE going to act out in this way...stop being a pussy. watch these to make it an easier thing to do!" Not sure if you agree with that or not though.Possible trigger warning for this post
. Around this time I discovered a hypnosis script involving heavy scat, domination, and even using animal faeces.
I relate to this. Sometimes it was like a wrecking ball in my mind, watching whatever it took, crossing the red line in a frantic thoughtless way because I wanted to be the lowest person. I wanted to shred my humanity. I knew watching hypno would make it easier to do the things described, but a part of me thought it was just a joke, that it was harmless because the writing was so self-aware and because it was just that, text.I think it was to try and break myself in a way