Crossing the river

O

one_man_canoe

Member
PMO Reset. Alas. Twice! That makes this day 2. Will start putting my day count at the bottom rather than the top because it's a little demoralising sometimes. My plan is to not give myself a hard time about this slip, but to definitely not let it turn into a long wallow in the mud.
 
Chris1986

Chris1986

Active Member
Yeah you got to live and learn and work out where things went wrong and what could of been done differently. You are not alone remember and if it was easy there would be no need for communities like this.
Know that you are being cheered on.
 
O

one_man_canoe

Member
Thanks @Chris1986 for the support.

I've lost my mental clarity about why I want to try living a different way. I think part of why I use P is I want to feel normal in my freakiness. But that feeling of fitting in evaporates when I O. It's like someone who says they are your friend but snubs you whenever you see them out in public.

I feel old at 36. I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of doing what I don't want to do, and I'm tired of feeling shame afterwards. I'm so very tired of the 'this is it, this is the best thing ever' feeling before I O.

Choose life. Choose reliability. Choose a healthy life. Choose putting down the smartphone. Choose people knowing where you are and what you're doing. Choose not hiding anymore. Choose joy, and richness, choose smiling at strangers. Choose to deserve the respect of those closest to you. Choose to help build a better world. Choose to focus on the things you can do. Choose feeling good about yourself again. Choose to try again.

How do I get that mental clarity about quitting again? I want to know enough, but in the depths of P I can't know that. I always want everything, all the more. Maybe I can build clarity and drive around the word 'enough'.

Day 1.
 
TakeActionNow

TakeActionNow

Respected Member
one_man_canoe said:
Thanks @Chris1986 for the support.

I've lost my mental clarity about why I want to try living a different way. I think part of why I use P is I want to feel normal in my freakiness. But that feeling of fitting in evaporates when I O. It's like someone who says they are your friend but snubs you whenever you see them out in public.

I feel old at 36. I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of doing what I don't want to do, and I'm tired of feeling shame afterwards. I'm so very tired of the 'this is it, this is the best thing ever' feeling before I O.

Choose life. Choose reliability. Choose a healthy life. Choose putting down the smartphone. Choose people knowing where you are and what you're doing. Choose not hiding anymore. Choose joy, and richness, choose smiling at strangers. Choose to deserve the respect of those closest to you. Choose to help build a better world. Choose to focus on the things you can do. Choose feeling good about yourself again. Choose to try again.

How do I get that mental clarity about quitting again? I want to know enough, but in the depths of P I can't know that. I always want everything, all the more. Maybe I can build clarity and drive around the word 'enough'.

Day 1.
Click to expand...
I wish it was easier but clarity only settled for me after 5 months.
And it is a bomb of a difference.
Totally night and day difference in outlook and opinion.

Addiction is dependency.
You are forever at the mercy of depending on others for everything. You lie to yourself (unintentionally) to get whatever you want. You trust others to help you.

With enough clean days (months) you lose dependency and start seeing according to needs. You trust your own judgements now.
You can see past BS immediately. What is necessary and important is immediately clear. There is little doubt. You do whatever is needed.

Invest this time to remain clean. You will truly be walking out of the cloud of delusion after reboot. PMO is the largest lie of the human race.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top