ImBroken
Member
Hey fellow SOs - I have decided to make this a thread that I comment on - I just looked at the past two months and there were a lot of my avatars lined up and I don’t want to scare any others away - Who is this nutball crying out for help so often. So…back to the topic above.
Since D-Day, I am looking at and really seeing my spouse differently. Some good - most bad. I know that we are still soooooo early in whatever it is we are doing going forward.
Question for my fellow friends who are with an addict - Did you view your spouse or SO differently. What I mean by this is - do you physically or mentally see them differently. I definitely am!
Part of me sees a sad and tortured soul who just ran out of time and excuses with regard to his addiction. I feel pity.
Part of me sees someone I do not know and am not attracted to anymore. I think I am a bit blinded by the offense(s) - words like “dirty”, “gross” and “deviant” are some things that I think of when I look at him. This is a hard one for me. Thirty years ago - sexual attraction and looks were high on my check list for a spouse and he ticked all the boxes - 30 years and 30+ pounds, loss of hair, graying of hair have taken their toll…and I was able to look past those things because I remembered the man that I married - many times I would still see that man. Now - I see him at face value - I don’t know how to explain it…but I see him differently. Maybe its just a phase in this ongoing process.
For those who have gone before me - Sound familiar? Can it get better? Can it get worse? Does it ever - Jesus does it ever get back to some semblance of past normal?
Since D-Day, I am looking at and really seeing my spouse differently. Some good - most bad. I know that we are still soooooo early in whatever it is we are doing going forward.
Question for my fellow friends who are with an addict - Did you view your spouse or SO differently. What I mean by this is - do you physically or mentally see them differently. I definitely am!
Part of me sees a sad and tortured soul who just ran out of time and excuses with regard to his addiction. I feel pity.
Part of me sees someone I do not know and am not attracted to anymore. I think I am a bit blinded by the offense(s) - words like “dirty”, “gross” and “deviant” are some things that I think of when I look at him. This is a hard one for me. Thirty years ago - sexual attraction and looks were high on my check list for a spouse and he ticked all the boxes - 30 years and 30+ pounds, loss of hair, graying of hair have taken their toll…and I was able to look past those things because I remembered the man that I married - many times I would still see that man. Now - I see him at face value - I don’t know how to explain it…but I see him differently. Maybe its just a phase in this ongoing process.
For those who have gone before me - Sound familiar? Can it get better? Can it get worse? Does it ever - Jesus does it ever get back to some semblance of past normal?