1 Month in Recovery Part 1

Hello and greetings from Ireland to all.

I'm one month in recovery this week... but I have been here before. I want to first off be thankful for Reboot Nation for even existing. Finding your site was the catalyst for this... another attempt to give up my pornography addiction.

Let me give you some background info. I would have been a shy teenager, but a normal one... curious about the opposite sex but not enough to be brave enough to go buying top shelf magazines to find out more... :) I had mostly all long relationships as a teenager, young adult and even into adulthood and I very much associated love with sex... but that all changed when the internet arrived. My curiosity got the better of me and I went looking and what I found was the most exciting things I had ever experienced. I would have been in my mid 20s, self-employed and in a long-term relationship... living in our new home together, engaged and soon to be married... very much in love with all our hopes and dreams. Porn was exciting, brand new shiny chrome and a new experience with a new beautiful women everytime... it was endless... eventhough I felt I wanted to see them all. My porn addiction quickly took hold... but I was young and full of energy... so my own sex life was healthy and porn was a new horizon for me that allowed me explore my deepest fantasies in the safe and secret security of my own home. It was also an easy addiction... no embarrassing asking for magazines like before... it was like, hit the Dial Up Modem button... wait for the ring of those strange sounds and then BOOM!!! I was in fantasy sex land. It became a daily habit... routine... plus I just started up my own business, so that stress was often relieved by acting out online. Actually, my work and the stresses of my work are a running theme with my addiction also. My wife and I discussed our roles when we got married and we were very much about that I would be the bread winner and my wife would be the stay at home Mum, and it's the same way to this day... and hopefully we won't need to change that.
 
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