Wondering if PIED might actually be my problem

PositiveBoi

New Member
Hey Folks

So I am new to the subject at hand, took me years to finally understand I had an issue at all and now I am looking for an explanation for my crisis.
I read a lot and watched a lot of videos on the matter and the thing is, technically I am checking ALL the boxes for PIED.
Am still a Virgin
Consume porn since I was about 12
Devoleped somewhat nasty fetishes
Have always struggled getting hard without Porn
Did edging long before I knew what it was
Was more interested in chasing the right video/material than actually ejaculating

Now heres my issue: I have been with women before, sexual relations too, just no intercourse. I never found it hard to quit porn even when I was just asking a girl out. I just went back to it when the relationsship ended without losing the kinda 'progress' you make concerning devoleped fetishes and stuff. For the first time in my life now, I feel I am truly in love (early 30s), sex became not just an option but seemed to be the next natural step of the relation. I just couldnt performe. Have stopped porn since the day love struck me, so about a 2 months ago, never had any withdrawal symptoms or any wish to consume porn ever again. At the same time I feel like my partner and I are sexually active as far as you can be without an erection. So much so that I feel overwhelmed by how much this women turns me on, just from looking at her or kissing. Its insane because I think with PIED I am supposed to have way weaker reactions to stimuli like smell, touch, sounds the partner makes... Feelings are imo very strong and bloodflow into my penis starts very easily (also insane amounts of precum...). I cant maintain erections and struggle hard to get 'full' ones though. It might be more than one cause (performance anxiety for example) I am aware of this, and no matter what, I am of course done with porn because I feel it destroyed my life. So I am rebooting anyway. At the same time I am getting my heart checked out, my prostate and testosterone levels this month and I am kinda in fear that my crisis wont even end after months of rebooting because my issue feels different from PIED.

I am hoping to reassure myself, regain a bit of hope that me improving my diet, being physically active, avoiding porn like the plague and making out with my girlfriend will actually someday redeem myself.
Thank you in advance for sharing what thoughts you might have or expiriences youve had yourself
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Yes. I would say porn broke you. You’re doing the right thing with the reboot. May I ask, does your girlfriend know about your reboot?

Im sure by now you’ve read about Rewiring as well. The sexual things you’re doing with her will accomplish that. Keep going.

my advice would be to be open and honest with your lady about what you’re doing and what you’re trying to accomplish. That way, when things don’t work she will know it has nothing to do with her.

your mind has spent its entire life associating pornography with sexual pleasure. You’re now introducing a real human. Unfortunately your brain doesn’t attach sex with people….hence the reaction….or lack thereof.
Good luck man.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
Sounds like pied to me. You don't have to consume it everyday, in fact I was a once a week person for a long time until I got serious about quitting recently. Still had pied with girls. Performance anxiety I don't really believe in too much. If you're a young healthy guy with no pied, unless youre wasted drunk or dead tired, youre gonna get hard and perform. I never would have though I'd have an issue then one day... Boom! Limp noodle.

Stay away from the porn and I'm sure over time it will go back to normal. Just make sure you DONT go back to the porn if the relationship doesnt work out. Thats always what I did. I'd fail with a girl, get depressed because of it, go back to porn to medicate and the cycle ctarted all over again
 

PositiveBoi

New Member
Yes. I would say porn broke you. You’re doing the right thing with the reboot. May I ask, does your girlfriend know about your reboot?

Im sure by now you’ve read about Rewiring as well. The sexual things you’re doing with her will accomplish that. Keep going.

my advice would be to be open and honest with your lady about what you’re doing and what you’re trying to accomplish. That way, when things don’t work she will know it has nothing to do with her.

your mind has spent its entire life associating pornography with sexual pleasure. You’re now introducing a real human. Unfortunately your brain doesn’t attach sex with people….hence the reaction….or lack thereof.
Good luck man.
Hey there, thanks a lot for your comment. I meant to write sooner but as it turns out I am very busy because things with my girl are working out great. Having said that i might as well answer your first question.
Even though it stung quite a bit i told my girl about my suspicion right away. When we first tried having sex we both assumed anxiety had to be the cause, which she responded to quite lovely actually. But I didnt expect her to support me quite as much when I opened up about my porn consumption in the past. She was visibly shocked at first but gave me nothing but encouragement and hope ever since. Shes been so so sweet. We already knew that the way we communicate is one of our best qualities as a couple, but going from there it got only better. Shes going to wait for as long as it takes and it makes me very very happy.
Sadly I cant really say i feel like we made actual progress so far. We make out a lot and its also very intense and we try my dick every other time. Since I can't seem to get it to work I turned to other ways to satisfy my girl. I use my hand now and even managed to make her come the other night. While this sounds pretty good, it kinda makes it clear that we both really want to have sex and now there is doubt forming in my mind. Questions like if it would hinder our progress if I was to use enhancing medication or if it would actually improve the rate of recovery...
 

PositiveBoi

New Member
Sounds like pied to me. You don't have to consume it everyday, in fact I was a once a week person for a long time until I got serious about quitting recently. Still had pied with girls. Performance anxiety I don't really believe in too much. If you're a young healthy guy with no pied, unless youre wasted drunk or dead tired, youre gonna get hard and perform. I never would have though I'd have an issue then one day... Boom! Limp noodle.

Stay away from the porn and I'm sure over time it will go back to normal. Just make sure you DONT go back to the porn if the relationship doesnt work out. Thats always what I did. I'd fail with a girl, get depressed because of it, go back to porn to medicate and the cycle ctarted all over again
I am very tired, kinda need to fix that too...
 

Markos

Member
Hey Folks

So I am new to the subject at hand, took me years to finally understand I had an issue at all and now I am looking for an explanation for my crisis.
I read a lot and watched a lot of videos on the matter and the thing is, technically I am checking ALL the boxes for PIED.
Am still a Virgin
Consume porn since I was about 12
Devoleped somewhat nasty fetishes
Have always struggled getting hard without Porn
Did edging long before I knew what it was
Was more interested in chasing the right video/material than actually ejaculating

Now heres my issue: I have been with women before, sexual relations too, just no intercourse. I never found it hard to quit porn even when I was just asking a girl out. I just went back to it when the relationsship ended without losing the kinda 'progress' you make concerning devoleped fetishes and stuff. For the first time in my life now, I feel I am truly in love (early 30s), sex became not just an option but seemed to be the next natural step of the relation. I just couldnt performe. Have stopped porn since the day love struck me, so about a 2 months ago, never had any withdrawal symptoms or any wish to consume porn ever again. At the same time I feel like my partner and I are sexually active as far as you can be without an erection. So much so that I feel overwhelmed by how much this women turns me on, just from looking at her or kissing. Its insane because I think with PIED I am supposed to have way weaker reactions to stimuli like smell, touch, sounds the partner makes... Feelings are imo very strong and bloodflow into my penis starts very easily (also insane amounts of precum...). I cant maintain erections and struggle hard to get 'full' ones though. It might be more than one cause (performance anxiety for example) I am aware of this, and no matter what, I am of course done with porn because I feel it destroyed my life. So I am rebooting anyway. At the same time I am getting my heart checked out, my prostate and testosterone levels this month and I am kinda in fear that my crisis wont even end after months of rebooting because my issue feels different from PIED.

I am hoping to reassure myself, regain a bit of hope that me improving my diet, being physically active, avoiding porn like the plague and making out with my girlfriend will actually someday redeem myself.
Thank you in advance for sharing what thoughts you might have or expiriences youve had yourself

Well, I can only say...
I DO identify with your case.

I have the same problem. Literally: the same.
 

Markos

Member
And did you get other things checked out? Is there doubt in your mind? How are you now? Do you feel like you are making progress?

Yes, a doctor examined my body and everything seems ok. I don't see any progress yet because my problem is with me for a veeeery long time and I'm on the very beginning of the road to heal.

But your problem (and mine too) seems to be more complex. Not worse, but more complex, I mean you have PIED but also a state of anxiety expressed by obsessive doubts. You need to be sure for 100% and that's another problem because in the state of anxiety you'll doubt the obvious. But don't worry, I know that. But we're here for a reason. Our intuition tells us what's the matter. So I think these two components block your erection:

1) porn induced habits;
2) anxious state of mind.
 

Tryinghere

Active Member
Hey fellas good morning. Happy thanksgiving if you’re in the states. @PositiveBoi dude congratulations. I’m so happy for you. It sounds like she’s a keeper for real. Listen guys just keep going and you will get better.
As far as pills go, there are mixed reviews. Some people say you’ll get addicted to them and only be able to have sex while using. Others think that’s bullshit. I personally don’t know.

I’m over 40 yrs old with three children and two jobs. I use them. But my situation is very different than yours. If I know sex is coming, I can’t help but reach for the pills and I would honestly rather it not be that way.


One thing that worked amazingly for my wife and I is Kareeza. Basically have sex but you don’t have the goal of climaxing in mind. You two have strong communication. Speak about it first. Google it or whatever. Gabe Deem has some YouTube videos about it too. You’re already having “sex”. Now, when you do get hard, feel free to penetrate. If you happen to cum whatever. But that’s not the goal. Go slow. Pay attention to the feeling and lock in with your partner. performance anxiety IS REAL. So much of sex is mental. Be present….in the moment with her. Forget about your erection (or lack thereof). Forget about work, or life or whatever and put 100% of your focus on your girl. she’s why you’re here. She’s the star. She’s the only thing that matters.

Long story short - be sexual, if you get hard put it in. Don’t cum if at all possible. Get her off if at all possible (using hand, mouth, dick, toys or a combination of them). we did that. It worked. It is what made me feel sexual again. the progress we made using that technique was incredible.

You know what broke you. You know what will fix you. You are men. You are built to do this. Your brain will recover. When it does, your body will respond. Give it time and be patient. This shit takes a long time.

This guy helped me a lot too

www.pmoflatline.com

good luck fellas
 
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