NO P success - Life changes

Hey Guys!
Just thought about the progress I've made since abstaining from P - I started in march 2020, so more than 2.5 years without P. Maybe this can serve as a motivation for those struggling with P(MO).
What did I achieve?
- completed a master program with excellence
- gained a lot of Work experience
- completed an online course to be able to be a language teacher in the meantime
- got even fitter than I was before
- recovered from my 2nd ACL surgery
- developed healthy routines: healthy eating Habits, cooking, meditation (the one I am proudest of: since march 2022 I meditate every day, for 10 mins).
- started psychotherapy 2 months ago. Why? Because I was afraid of it, but convinced it would do me some good. Once you - metaphorically speaking - walk towards your fears, they get smaller, but you grow as a person.
- Had the best sex of my life so far with my last ex gf
- the best of it all: I feel confident, grounded, with moments of deep inner peace and appreciation; I am ofc still afraid of things, but I try to and always have found a way to just tackle them or start the process.

Do I still struggle? Yes, a lot! But not with abstaining from P, but other things in life. Am I insecure at times? Definitely. And that's okay, even beautiful. What would Life be without its struggles?
Keep pushing my fellow rebooters, everyone of y'all has a fighter inside of you. You are braver and stronger than you might know.


Active Member
@FrankWhite12 would love to hear more about your meditation practice, have you got something you listen to too guide you, or just do it in silence......I'm trying to do more, but I find it so hard to quieten my off to a Buddhist meditation workshop next weekend, so hoping that might help!
@FrankWhite12 would love to hear more about your meditation practice, have you got something you listen to too guide you, or just do it in silence......I'm trying to do more, but I find it so hard to quieten my off to a Buddhist meditation workshop next weekend, so hoping that might help!
Hey man, sounds great. I always just sit in silence and let the thoughts come and go. Once you've got a routine in meditating, it gets easier! I'd say you don't have to silence your mind but acknowledge the thoughts that pop up, and then let go. Sounds easier than it is, I know, but I think the key is not to try to hard and let it happen. Great that you're going to participate in a workshop!


Active Member
Hey frank, congratulations on abstaining from P for 2.5 years. cant wait to make that same claim myself! i have a few questions though, you mention having the best sex ever with your ex gf after abstaining from PMO. does this mean you had PIED or other sexual dysfunction?
If so can you elaborate on that a bit? Ive struggled with PIED throughout my whole addiction and would love to hear about how abstaining effected your PIED if you had it, namely things like how long you dealt with it, when it started to get better etc.

Also, can you give some details about how long you were addicted, if you escalated with the material you were watching etc? thanks so much!

Hey DbD! Yep, I had PIED and performance anxiety (the latter is not completely gone yet). I first tried to have sex when I was 19-20 with ~10 different girls, never could get it up. I felt ashamed of myself and generally the whole situation. I knew the women that were with me also felt sth was up, I'm sure some of them also had a bad time, even though most were understanding. Sometimes I was asked if I did not find them attractive, if I did not feel good around them, which wasn't the case. I couldn't explain what was going on, because I did not know it either. I even ghosted some of them because I did not know what to say to them, how to explain myself, the shame, the guilt, my inabilty to perform etc. That I regret a lot. It got to a point where I was thinking "I have to choose, is it gonna be porn or having real intimate sex with another human being". I did not want to put myself through that shame and guilt again, even less get involved with sb and end up hurting them with my behaviour.
With 23 I had succesful sex with my 1st gf at the time, sex was good, but I was still occasionally watching P. We broke up half a year later (because of different issues). The next relationship lasted 1.5 years, sex was okay, but I loved her deeply but ended up hurting her. P was still sometimes an issue, and overall I felt the impact viewing P for around 10 years had had on me and my sexuality. After that relationship ended (I was 25), I tried to quit P for the first time, failed, got back up and told myself "this time for real". Been clean ever since, but sure, urges came and still come sometimes.

Overall, I was watching P from 14-25, from 23 onwards just occasionally, not daily. Escalated into fetishes like femdom. Did a lot of edging (for 1-2 hours sometimes). Felt empty and ashamed inside afterwards.
Regarding PIED, I can say that quitting P for sure helped, but I realized I need to feel connected to my sexual partners as well. The only one night stand I ever had was with 25 after having done 4 months of hardmode, sex was okay, but still empty. For me, the combination of abstaining from P + being intimate emotionally with the other person and making myself vulnerable really helped a lot. I tend to avoid shallow encounters, I am also very picky with whom I get intimate with.

Have you been struggling with PIED / other Porn induced dysfunctions? If so, how are you dealing with them?
Quick Update:
After my Last Post I went to africa, on a solo Bike Trip for 4 months. Had some really shaping experiences and - I am Sure - learned a lot of stuff + General skills (Handling myself in difficult situations, how to Deal with intense fear/ troubles, finding a solution for anything that comes Up). Started working as a teacher in another Part of the country a couple of months ago, this is challenging. Besides that, couple of sexual encounters (one 2 months Back, another one Last Weekend). First one was nice, second one still with some PIED (wondering what's the cause of this). Keep it Up guys ;)
Over and Out!