Part of my getting better I just realized, was to stop staying stagnant and asking people the same questions about my problems.I was given advice, but apparently I wasn't listening.The last couple of days I have been feeling better.No awesome ( I don't anyone here feels that way), but I'm not panicking and starting to accept my circumstance little by little everyday.Essentially, just say "whatever, there is nothing I can do about it, so let's move on".Like most addicts, I didn't understand the meaning of "cold turkey" if I want to make my reboot move faster or at least have some progress.My new therapist,who happens to be a CSAT, drew a model the other day.The core was...stay away from all the artificial triggers ( ie.youtube, facebook) that would mimic that high speed affect.Not 1% not .0000009%...nothing! It's the story of the alcoholic who can never have a drink again...not a sip,smell or even touch the bottle.Also the invasive thoughts are still there, but not as often and as intense.I am going through a mild flatline, and it feels weird that all figures that go by me just look generic.It does come and go, but more flatline feelings than manic sexual.I can't make sense of it as I'm still figuring it out.Kind of winging it for now.Anyway, hopefully what I'm doing brings some relief and progress.
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