Long Robooters Married Or In Relationships What Advice Can You Give

[Scorpio1990]

I notice a lot of guys here struggle while in relationships, what advice can give specially those who struggle with Pied. The ones who been in a long reboot and haven’t gotten improvements or struggle with the harsh withdrawal symptoms.

 

[Daybyday1988]

I may not have the requisite experience youre looking for but maybe this will help. Being married, and an addict for 13 years before hand definitely makes intimacy a challenge during a reboot. Currently, I'm 3 weeks clean but had a previous streak of over a month and was having sex with my wife I'd say several times per week despite having pied. To be totally honest with you, I'm using cialis.

I get it from a bodybuilder who also sells steroids, so it isnt exactly compounded by a pharmacist or something but its strong and it works for when I need it and I use it as a way to help me get through the next year or more of flatlining so that my wife doesn't have to suffer too much. I had lots of sexual experience before becomibg an addict though so its possible my pied isn't as severe as someone with no sexual conditioning to real partners. Still failed many times with different women including my wife.

 

[Scorpio1990]

I may not have the requisite experience youre looking for but maybe this will help. Being married, and an addict for 13 years before hand definitely makes intimacy a challenge during a reboot. Currently, I'm 3 weeks clean but had a previous streak of over a month and was having sex with my wife I'd say several times per week despite having pied. To be totally honest with you, I'm using cialis.

I get it from a bodybuilder who also sells steroids, so it isnt exactly compounded by a pharmacist or something but its strong and it works for when I need it and I use it as a way to help me get through the next year or more of flatlining so that my wife doesn't have to suffer too much. I had lots of sexual experience before becomibg an addict though so its possible my pied isn't as severe as someone with no sexual conditioning to real partners. Still failed many times with different women including my wife.

I can definitely see using cialis is a way to go. I have managed to have sex with my gf without it. Generally being around her does help. I am the same way. I was having lots of sex for the past 12yrs specially during Covid shut down. Im definitely curious about hardmode and Rewiring works because I seem to read the less orgasms the better but how do you do that during a relationship, specially marriage. I know your trying to keep your sex alive by using cialis but how long can you rely on that to get out of flatline is my question in general. That’s why I am wondering how many successful rebooters in a long flatline are out there who are married or in long term relationships? I’m not talking about 90 days, I’m talking about months to years of flatline.

 

[Daybyday1988]

Well when having sex during reboot, I find its still helpful to avoid orgasm for a time. For me Orgasms definitely send me into a flatline situation for at least a week so maybe if you are struggling with sex during reboot, do the karezza style sex that gabe mentioned in one of his videos. Basically just gentle sex avoiding orgasm.

But even though I avoid orgasm, its still great for intimacy, which is really the goal. I'm going to try and go 6 months no O. One psychologist who is prominent in recovery from porn addiction (Doug Weiss I believe) says a minimum of 90 days no O as a "neurochenical detox". I believe he even said No sex but I think the no O is a great way to go too.

 

[LionHeart]

I want to go hardmode 3months but my woman is not very eager to do so (she loves sex over everything). So i settle for karezza instead for couple of weeks but then i always ruin my streak and blow my load and start again. I firmly believe 90 days hard mode could do wonders. I have no pied or it's very mild atleast. I have cialis but it's not mandatory for me to use. I take it only if i'm not in the mood and she wants sex desperately.

 

[Daybyday1988]

I want to go hardmode 3months but my woman is not very eager to do so (she loves sex over everything). So i settle for karezza instead for couple of weeks but then i always ruin my streak and blow my load and start again. I firmly believe 90 days hard mode could do wonders. I have no pied or it's very mild atleast. I have cialis but it's not mandatory for me to use. I take it only if i'm not in the mood and she wants sex desperately.

Try stopping a good amount of time before you orgasm (listen to your body) and finish her off with your hand or mouth. I feel you though, hard not to orgasm with your partner when youre up in her

 

[Scorpio1990]

Well when having sex during reboot, I find its still helpful to avoid orgasm for a time. For me Orgasms definitely send me into a flatline situation for at least a week so maybe if you are struggling with sex during reboot, do the karezza style sex that gabe mentioned in one of his videos. Basically just gentle sex avoiding orgasm.

But even though I avoid orgasm, its still great for intimacy, which is really the goal. I'm going to try and go 6 months no O. One psychologist who is prominent in recovery from porn addiction (Doug Weiss I believe) says a minimum of 90 days no O as a "neurochenical detox". I believe he even said No sex but I think the no O is a great way to go too.

I mean that is definitely ideal but how having prejaculation. So its definitely a challenging. Specially trying to please your partner. Sex had been to for me luckily but it’s definitely not the same as before.

 

[LionHeart]

Try stopping a good amount of time before you orgasm (listen to your body) and finish her off with your hand or mouth. I feel you though, hard not to orgasm with your partner when youre up in her

Thanks. That is quite obvious way to go...BUT my woman is very unique (or so i think). She wants the real thing, and me finishing every time. She reluctantly settles for fingers or anything else. She want dick, period lol i ofcourse really don't mind normaly but it's a quite a problem when i try to speak her about doing 90 day hardmode.

It's now end of the day 2 (in my 90 hard mode) and things are already gettin quite heated here because of her lol. But we sure try to pull this off. God (or Satan) help me!

 

[Daybyday1988]

Yeah i feel ya man lol most girls are going to want you to finish and feel weird if u dont lol. If you avoid the O for awhile my understanding is youll heal faster. Otherwisem you should still recover with O as long as you avoid P and P fantasy

 

[KetchupDrool]

From experience, I've been married for fourteen years, and in those fourteen years I've had pied multiple times. We even got prescribed Viagra to help, and only one position would make me reach orgasm. My wife thought my pied was because of a brain injury I suffered from active duty. I knew it was from being involved with porn daily. I'd tried multiple times to stop viewing porn, but would fail miserably. It wasn't till I went to a married couple's rehab for sex addicts; I realized what I was doing to my family. I wasn't protecting what I loved. Today I'm over a year and a half clean from porn and masturbation and I can tell you the sex has never been so good. My erections are harder and last longer, and the O is incredibly intense. When you reach the big O, look at your woman. This burns her image into your brain as excitement, and rewires your neuro pathways.

 

[Daybyday1988]

From experience, I've been married for fourteen years, and in those fourteen years I've had pied multiple times. We even got prescribed Viagra to help, and only one position would make me reach orgasm. My wife thought my pied was because of a brain injury I suffered from active duty. I knew it was from being involved with porn daily. I'd tried multiple times to stop viewing porn, but would fail miserably. It wasn't till I went to a married couple's rehab for sex addicts; I realized what I was doing to my family. I wasn't protecting what I loved. Today I'm an over a year and a half clean from porn and masturbation and I can tell you the sex has never been so good. My erections are harder and last longer, and the O is incredibly intense. When you reach the big O, look at your woman. This burns her image into your brain as excitement, and rewires your neuro pathways.

Hey friend, you mentioned you viewed p for 14 years daily. Did you find that you escalated into more hardcore/extreme genres of P as well? Thanks again for sharing your story! Gives us much hope

 

[KetchupDrool]

Hey friend, you mentioned you viewed p for 14 years daily. Did you find that you escalated into more hardcore/extreme genres of P as well? Thanks again for sharing your story! Gives us much hope

DaybyDay, yes, it increased with more extreme forms of pornography. I'm not sure how descriptive we can be here. I never did the child thing. However, it got pretty crazy, regular P just wouldn't do it for me anymore. I used to solicit myself on Craigslist just to get my fix. It's like a drug, you need more and more of it to reach O. They have actually found that P is 4x more addictive than heroin. YIKES!

 

[I_Love_Tuscany]

Married for over three years. Currently struggling through a flatline that makes me feel anxious and stressed that my libido will never return. I use Cialis sometimes but it’s not very helpful when sex drive is zero and penis isn’t as sensitive due to PIED. I definitely recommend seeking moments of intimacy: cuddling, massaging, kissing, etc. It has helped me feel like I am not just a burden on my wife but am actively showing her how much I love and care for her. Sometimes I think rebooting as a single person would be easier because you don’t owe anybody an explanation or projected timeline for getting better. For me, the mental/emotional funk of the flatline is the absolute worst side effect.

 

[Simon2]

Stay strong! It will pass! If we can focus on the whole relationship with our partners, not just the sex, I am convinced that the end result can be only positive. You are doing that

 

[I_Love_Tuscany]

Stay strong! It will pass! If we can focus on the whole relationship with our partners, not just the sex, I am convinced that the end result can be only positive. You are doing that

Thanks so much, Simon. I really appreciate the support. This flatline has been particularly challenging for me. It’s so unnerving to have zero confidence in my libido and love stick right now, so this forum is keeping my hope alive.

 

[Daybyday1988]

DaybyDay, yes, it increased with more extreme forms of pornography. I'm not sure how descriptive we can be here. I never did the child thing. However, it got pretty crazy, regular P just wouldn't do it for me anymore. I used to solicit myself on Craigslist just to get my fix. It's like a drug, you need more and more of it to reach O. They have actually found that P is 4x more addictive than heroin. YIKES!

Wow thats crazy, i too ended up on CL. In fact that was more stimulating than p alone. Thankfully they shut that part of the site down but yeah those ads were so raunchy and nasty they were very stimulating and easy to get addicted to. Tried some stuff im not super proud of outside of my orientation just because of how messed up that site made me

 

[Daybyday1988]

Married for over three years. Currently struggling through a flatline that makes me feel anxious and stressed that my libido will never return. I use Cialis sometimes but it’s not very helpful when sex drive is zero and penis isn’t as sensitive due to PIED. I definitely recommend seeking moments of intimacy: cuddling, massaging, kissing, etc. It has helped me feel like I am not just a burden on my wife but am actively showing her how much I love and care for her. Sometimes I think rebooting as a single person would be easier because you don’t owe anybody an explanation or projected timeline for getting better. For me, the mental/emotional funk of the flatline is the absolute worst side effect.

Honestly though man i was single for so long (over 10 years) that i found it very difficult to get any type of a streak going away from porn because of the lack of accountability. I got married in february of this year and had some long streaks without porn mostly due to the fact that it was just not an easy option to pmo since i have my wife here. I understand you feel disappointed, i do too... alot. But in the long term i think its definitely better to be recovering with a partner, even if its hard for the short term.

Right now im over 3 weeks clean, never had a streak like this when i was single. Finally feel like im on the road to recovery. We are here for you bro, message me if you ever want to talk.

P.s. ive got like zero sensitivity down there too. What gives?! Lol. Im sure that will come back with time

 

[I_Love_Tuscany]

Honestly though man i was single for so long (over 10 years) that i found it very difficult to get any type of a streak going away from porn because of the lack of accountability. I got married in february of this year and had some long streaks without porn mostly due to the fact that it was just not an easy option to pmo since i have my wife here. I understand you feel disappointed, i do too... alot. But in the long term i think its definitely better to be recovering with a partner, even if its hard for the short term.

Right now im over 3 weeks clean, never had a streak like this when i was single. Finally feel like im on the road to recovery. We are here for you bro, message me if you ever want to talk.

P.s. ive got like zero sensitivity down there too. What gives?! Lol. Im sure that will come back with time

Thanks man, that’s a good point. I bet if I were single the temptation to PMO would be tremendous.
I am keeping the faith and trying my best to look at this funk/lack of sensitivity/lack of drive as part of the healing process. But yeah, it’s brutal not to feel anything! I feel for my wife - she’s not doing anything wrong but the mojo is on sabbatical.

 

[KetchupDrool]

Wow thats crazy, i too ended up on CL. In fact that was more stimulating than p alone. Thankfully they shut that part of the site down but yeah those ads were so raunchy and nasty they were very stimulating and easy to get addicted to. Tried some stuff im not super proud of outside of my orientation just because of how messed up that site made me

Yeah, CL was pretty crazy. I, too, went outside my natural tendencies because the adrenaline was what I craved.

 

[I_Love_Tuscany]

From experience, I've been married for fourteen years, and in those fourteen years I've had pied multiple times. We even got prescribed Viagra to help, and only one position would make me reach orgasm. My wife thought my pied was because of a brain injury I suffered from active duty. I knew it was from being involved with porn daily. I'd tried multiple times to stop viewing porn, but would fail miserably. It wasn't till I went to a married couple's rehab for sex addicts; I realized what I was doing to my family. I wasn't protecting what I loved. Today I'm an over a year and a half clean from porn and masturbation and I can tell you the sex has never been so good. My erections are harder and last longer, and the O is incredibly intense. When you reach the big O, look at your woman. This burns her image into your brain as excitement, and rewires your neuro pathways.

So good to hear that during your marriage you had relapses. I’m in the same boat - WFH led me back to P this summer. Looking forward to sticking with this and having great sex with my lovely wife. Did you struggle with guilt and shame? I definitely am…