16 years of porn addiction and difficult penis injury

Hello.
My name is Peter and I come from Poland. I'm 29 years old and i used to watch porn since 2007, so it's been 16 years!!!
Sorry for my English, but i hope you will understand everything. This will be pretty long post, but bear with me ;)
I said used to, because since one day lol i don't do it and i will tell you shortly soon why.
I tried many times to quit, but sooner or later i came back to this habit.
I believe in God, but it's not about religion, it's about what it does to your brain. I have to admit I was sceptic at first that porn can make you some problems
with sexual intercourse, but it's true. As i grew up instead of spending time with my peers, finding a girlfriend I much rather spend time in front of computer screen and wanking to porn or worse edging... I have been bullied in my school, in the past - in general I had many bad problems with my peers in general during adolescence.
Mentally I felt very bad, I watched a lot of porn and started to feel "NOT ENOUGH". I found some forums claiming penis enlargement is possible: jelq, stretching and so on and so forth... I bought Bathmate penis pump and couple times was ok, but once i did something really wrong and felt huge pain.
Since then (March 2018) so nearly 5 years I feel pain - tingling, itching every day (urologists are not able to help me) and what is also worse my penis glans looks bad because some vessels were damaged. Glans doesn't look normal it's full of cracking and red spots. 3/4 of glans looks not normal and i think it's also desentisied because when I had a blowjob lately I didn't feel a thing... I even felt pain...

Ok to sum up.. I have two problems.
1) Pornography addiction since 2007 (I even remember first porn video I've seen) I spent a lot of time. I can literally write 200 pornstars right now.... It's not normal.
What is worse, my favorite genre turned out to be POV videos. It's like i'm seeing a girl and have sex with her. I got addicted especially to these kind of videos.
Nothing turn me so much as POV video when girl is doing a blowjob or she is on the top (cowgirl) etc... I think POV's videos are the most addicted. Am I right?!
2) Since few years I watched a lot of videos with Noah Church, Gabe Deem or Gary Wilson who sadly passed away, but even if i want to quit (I tried many times) and could do 2 weeks maximum!!!!, the rest, very powerful 50% still don't want me to allow it.... but YESTERDAY i decided to finally change it no matter what. I tried to quit alcohol and it's easy, but porn i just cant... impossible...
There is a saying IMPOSSIBLE.. Look at the spelling "I'M POSSIBLE". So i'm trying this right now, definitely!!! Once and for all!!!

Lately I met a girl, we liked each other and had sex and I was really surprised. I couldn't get an erection or when I finally did it quickly dissapeared.
What also bothered me wasn't erection, but a completely lack of pleasure!! I didn't feel a thing. I couldn't ejaculate at all!! We had sex for 50 minutes with fast pace, she was tired and satisfied, but I couldn't ejaculate and like I said: couldn't feel a thing! What is worse: during a blowjob instead of pleasure i felt a pain..

As for sex in the past. I have some experience and i remember few years back without this penis pump injury i still have erections problems (2016) but when I came back to house everything was ok. Unfortunately, I don't remember if i feel more, because it was many years back.
It seems to me that not only porn but this injury screwed me up, because when I want to masturbate in a gentle way, up/down (without porn) = i don't feel a thing... somehow is f#@! with foreskin or glans. I wanted to add here some pictures, but i won't do it.. maybe if someone is interested to help or know a solution = please write me a private message, I will share more specific details and of course will be veryt hankful because this injury bothers me for 5 years every single day...

IMPORTANT SENTENCE: I don't know what more screwed me up... This porn habit for 16 years and desentization or an injury with water pump Bathmate...
Maybe combination of both... It can't be like this. My life right now is real shit. I know this forum it's not about religion, but i believe in God.
I have a terrible crash (car upside down and destroyed in 90%) 100 kph per hour in February and somehow I made it without a scratch!! I destroyed a fence, 6 thuja trees and nothing happened to me.. I didn't even see a doctor. The best luck of my life or some power from above didn't allow me to die there... just not yet!
That was the most horrific time in my life and I whenever I feel bad, I always can came back to this moment and said then was much more worse!

I also got addicted to Instagram, to all of these models. It's very hard not to look at the girls if a man is made to look at them... but really i try my best to avoid.

Last sentence (forgive me for writing so much): I'm not a weird guy, who sits 100 hours in a front of computer and is isolated, doesn't like other people etc.
I'm very talkative and I enjoy traveling, sport a lot!! Sport is my whole live, I did 400 km by bicycle in one day. Swimming etc... gym.. I can do soccer tricks (fast movements with football) = keeping on the head, sole juggling, many fast tricks with legs etc) Sport was always present with my life, but unfortunately I got hooked by porn and i can't escape..

Please give me some advices how to definetely quit with this and my final question is... How do you think? What is the main cause not to feel nothing during sex: this penis injury I have due to penis pump or 16 years of porn addiction? What is more powerful? Are two things in one time possible?

All the best for all of you. Best regards from Poland. Thank you!
Peter.

I lost fight, but I haven't lost a war!
Today it's a first day. (I always said this and after one week come back to the square one) but now after this weird sex with my girlfriend I'm terrified AF of this and I want to quit it for good

Gabe quoted Gary words: "Nowadays people are training different sport" and it's exactly what it is..

ALL THE BEST to you. Thank you for reading it. BELIEVE IN YOURSELVES. "Eyes on the horizon, on the future, you'll be there soon enough" - my role model once said these words = Greg Plitt. I don't know if you are familiar with him. He passed away in a tragic way couple years ago, but he was excellent with sport, motivated a lot of people. I translated 400 videos of his to my own language Polish by adding subtitles. I recommend to watch his video - Greg Plitt Be Rememebered or Greg Plit Legacy Tribute 2022 - very powerful and motivational videos. I'm sure you will get a boost of motivation if you will find out who Greg Plitt was ;)
Thank you!
 
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Day 1 and.... relapsed. Very bad mental state and even worse after doing it again despite promises....
Here we go again. Next try.
 
Day 2 - Been to swimming pool with a girlfriend, touching, kissing, then we went to visit my friends.
it was very good day, no porn at all. I have to keep it like this!!
 
Day 3 - had some gentle erotic dream, hugging, kissing with a girl in bed. Overall not thinking about porn and watching Fifa World Cup !! For anyone addicted to porn my advice is to watch soccer world cup instead of porn :) 3 or 4 matches every Day haha.. thats plenty of time better spending than watching porn ;)
 
No, I don't have any problems with my body. I have some mental problems now, because I PMO'ed.... RESTART OF THE CLOCK..
Better be careful with Instagram - it triggered me.
 
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For f#@! sake... relapsed again!! I don't know how it hapenned! 30 minutes ago I was laughing, I can win this war and after 10 minutes i was doing it again.... I have an injury to my penis due penis pump, so I wanted to check if everything is all right down there and by checking I relapsed... If you're thinking about buying penis pump or doing any penis enlargement, never do it! This is my advice, because you will end up with injured penis... I'm young and my penis is damaged..

Anyways.... Reboot starts now!
 

CodeTheMind

Member
It definitely is a 24 hours struggle, a few minutes of lack of concentration or lack of paying attention are enough for the triggers to kick in again. The hope is that with enough strength and perseverance the mind and body will adapt to your new self that you are creating. Keep going!
 
3 days relapsed twice today.... Found out about new pornstar, she is very attractive and young .Hard to remove her from my mind...
 
Ok, so i am currently on 4 day without PORN, but i masturbated without porn. Is it count as a relapse? I did it completely without porn because I was terrified due to penis numbness and not feeling anything. In my case is not only porn addiction, but also an injury made by penis pump in the past.. so I wanted to check if I am able to 'ejaculate' or simply if penis works... Because last time when I had sex with my girlfirend (one month ago) i could have an erection, but I couldn't finish at all...

Does masturbation occasionaly or very rarely let's say once in a month is bad for reboot from porn?
 

CodeTheMind

Member
Ok, so i am currently on 4 day without PORN, but i masturbated without porn. Is it count as a relapse? I did it completely without porn because I was terrified due to penis numbness and not feeling anything. In my case is not only porn addiction, but also an injury made by penis pump in the past.. so I wanted to check if I am able to 'ejaculate' or simply if penis works... Because last time when I had sex with my girlfirend (one month ago) i could have an erection, but I couldn't finish at all...

Does masturbation occasionaly or very rarely let's say once in a month is bad for reboot from porn?
Ultimately that is for you to decide. In my case when I did masturbation without porn it eventually led me to masturbation with porn, so I know that I cannot do it. If that does not happens to you and if you do not masturbate frequently then you could consider to focus on quitting porn first...but be careful not to forget that masturbation without porn can be addictive too.

If your goal was to quit porn then you have not relapsed. If your goal was to quit masturbation you did. But regardless if you relapsed I think you are making progress. Good luck.
 
So hard to quit this. I'm failing all the time. Yesterday I failed again and I dunno how it happens but i drank alcohol (2 beers).
I think alcohol leads to relapse..
As for now: 23 hours without porn.
I'm also scrolling too much Internet. I need to calm the f#@! down..
 
So hard to quit this. I'm failing all the time. Yesterday I failed again and I dunno how it happens but i drank alcohol (2 beers).
I think alcohol leads to relapse..
As for now: 23 hours without porn.
I'm also scrolling too much Internet. I need to calm the f#@! down..
Stop nursing PMO, you have to give it all you have to quit it no matter what. There's nothing you will benefit from except regrets, pains and worst of it all your group mate will leave you behind in life. Or have benefited something from it years back or when you just relapse???
 
Keep your head up and meditate always what benefit and loss this develish addiction has bring to your life. You should stop drinking for now too because of the health damaged you have down there. It's a must to stop no other way out.
 
And again I relapsed... As you can see I am completely vulnerable to this addiction. I didnt watch several movies, just once. My addiction is forced by alcohol (I drank 3 beers)... sad emotions and penis Injury due to penis pump. It feels like penis is dead. I had sex with gf and I had problems with ed (perhaps) due to porn, but what completely weird was not feeling pleasure at all and unability to cum.. I had sex for 40mins and couldnt ejaculate.. I dont know if this is due to porn habit many years or this stupid penis pump Injury.. maybe both because I feel huge pain flaccid state.. I been to many doctors But they didnt help..or unable to help.
 

Simon2

Active Member
My suggestion: Focus, for a while, on just giving your GF pleasure. Don't even try to come - but really focus on just feeling good in the moment - either for yourself, or because you are making HER feel good. :)
 
My suggestion: Focus, for a while, on just giving your GF pleasure. Don't even try to come - but really focus on just feeling good in the moment - either for yourself, or because you are making HER feel good. :)
She broke up with me. So I guess hard Mode now. I tried many Times - will see if I manage 90 days no pmo
 
Many tries and many failures.. I can't quit Instagram or Youtube, porn is literally everywhere.. Even on Netflix movies.
a lot of girls or I'm watching let's say TV and there are girls dancing almost naked..
Day 1 - Yesterday I relapsed 1 am, so it's been 24 hours... Day was spend in a good way. Swimming pool, a lot of duties, visiting my friend, watching some cool movie and then I got in a trap of novelty clicking youtube for 20 minute. Overall, it was a good day! Is watching things not connecte to porn, but click/click/click switching interviews let's say of certain people and then watching walkthrough of a game and then watching something else - does it count as a relapse or slows reboot?
 
11 days so far and everything was ok until 5 minutes ago when I watched some porn (let's say 6 videos) small touching but quickly switched off computer and went to swiming pool. is it harmful and should I reset my countdown?
 
I'd say it's not a relapse if you didn't O and turned it off quick. If it was six 2 minutes videos than probably no. But if you're talking 6 30 minutes videos... maybe reset. I read your story - sorry to hear about your injury. I think it's probably best to go to a bunch of doctors about that and tell them what happened until you find one that can actually help you. On the bright side sounds like to can rail your GF when you get a new one for an eternity lol. Keep the streak going! Don't tempt yourself with P like that. Kudos to you for not O to it.
 
I'd say it's not a relapse if you didn't O and turned it off quick. If it was six 2 minutes videos than probably no. But if you're talking 6 30 minutes videos... maybe reset. I read your story - sorry to hear about your injury. I think it's probably best to go to a bunch of doctors about that and tell them what happened until you find one that can actually help you. On the bright side sounds like to can rail your GF when you get a new one for an eternity lol. Keep the streak going! Don't tempt yourself with P like that. Kudos to you for not O to it.
I need to work on my emotions.. unfortunately I relapsed again. Good thing it wasnt a long session. I am quite devastated because No matter what I keep falling.. I need to avoid boredom, too. 1 hour of free time and instead of going to lets say run Or long walk i switched on [email protected]^^××^ bad thing is I realised there is a great memory of all of these pictures / videos actresses. I started in 2007 and worse in general I have a good memory - so for me it was always easy to remember everything... So I am starting again.. having tears in my eyes right now and doing a walk in the darkness. As for an injury - I visited many doctors and some said I had this since my birth (whole life) or misdiagnose.. one doctor helped me actually a Little bit to get rid of pain because he offered me a treatment with ESWT - electroshockwave therapy for penis. It is very expensive treatment.. He said also platelet-rich plasma might help me. Despite pain my penis doesnt look normal (red blisters, broken small vessels and tissue on the glans looks different with cracks and so on).. I had sex one month ago But I couldnt finish and I dont know what was the main reason.. injury or habit to porn? Or maybe both ?? Actually during today relapse I was surprised because it happened so quickly, with not tight grip so maybe more fault of this delayed ejaculation or being not able to ejaculate at all is porn itself !!
 
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