Finally becoming accountable, not just saying “I’ll start again”

AnonBob

New Member
Today is actually my second day, not a huge difference from the beginning tho. I have tried to make this journey with quite a roller coaster of a ride beginning in around April of 2020. I believe the reason I still suffer and PMO nearly every other day is because no matter what I tell myself, I really haven’t been serious enough, especially with how serious a porn addiction is. I do not watch porn, but instead will become hooked when I see a single arousing image and will scroll multiple social media apps until the process is unstoppable. I look forward to tracking and journaling progress here, this will help with accountability. I do not suffer from most of the sexual symptoms but I do notice massive drop offs of sexual interest after intercourse. I also have sporadic, almost bipolar style anxiety and depression spurts which I know come from PMO. My longest streak was 60 days, in which time span I got my first girlfriend who I’ve been with now for two years. When I get bad with PMO, my mood and our relationship suffers. It’s time to get a grip, be a strong masculine man and wrangle this issue. I look forward again to posting daily and being held accountable. Thank you.
 

AnonBob

New Member
Day 3
Today was a rather nice day. Didn't really have urges today, as pretty much from wake to bed, there was no chance of any significant down time to allow anything like that. I got a lot done today, and I am feeling more confident than ever. I am making sure to remember that this extreme confidence and motivation must translate to discipline if I want results. I am also making sure to remember that this journey isn't about a set number of days or a streak. Without living a lifestyle with a future free of PMO, and only aiming for days, you do not change. I will remember this in the back of my head. I am very excited for the improvement and journey ahead. Godspeed.
 

AnonBob

New Member
Day 1 Again.
Unfortunately I lost my discipline and had setbacks three days in a row including today. I recognize the pattern of not being very active and sitting in my room, making urges extremely difficult to fight instead of being manageable. I also believe that not posting onto my journal has significantly contributed to my lackadaisical approach and ensuing relapses, because without the discipline to simply update on my progress, there will certainly be no progress on anything requiring a lot more discipline and restraint. I believe the following few days will be very helpful, as I will be on Thanksgiving break from uni and will be busy with family at most times, limiting the chance of another failure. I am simply not serious enough, and I can see it. I do a lot of talking and must follow this up with action, (or perhaps lack of action in this instance). Today is the beginning of the first day, but tracking is not what will lead to victory. It is obvious to me I still need to reform my mindset more. I must read more. I must workout. I must stay busy and adapt to an entire new lifestyle that doesn't allow these things to happen. I must continue to seek out God. Learn nutrition. To become a good man. We will make it gents. We all will. If we never give up, we never lose. My faith and general mindset help me come to this conclusion, and it almost completely deletes the blackpill, as long as you don't give up.
 

AnonBob

New Member
Haven't updated this in a while, but figured I'd retry the habit. Relapsed today, have had a rough string. However, I seem to have been handling urges better and have been a bit stronger, made it a few days since my last one. With winter break starting and my semester finish, now is a great time to relish in the lack of stress for a bit, and to make sure not to let my guard down.
 
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