One day is a time.

Alexey

Active Member
Leaked this night. So I’ve gone without O for 11 days. Folks here say that once in a couple of weeks is decent.

The day before I fussed quite a lot – a new job is going to start and an IT course started also. Also, it seemed to me, some young girl intrigued to make an acquaintance with me. Although rather pleasant, all those things were stressful.

To add to that I’ve spent a lot of screen time the last days as a result breaking my own imposed rule.

Now, again, I need to become more vigilant not to indulge further. Journal regularly near days.

28 days no PM

One day is a Time
 

Alexey

Active Member
2 days without O

31 days no PM

Counting days may not be too exciting to read. But why not do it, if it works? A health-improving procedure doesn’t have to be amusing.
The addiction is mainly a brain issue. And the brain likes rituals and repetitions.

One day is a Time
 

Alexey

Active Member
“Giving up smoking is easy…I've done it hundreds of times”
M. Twain

So today is again my first day without PMO.

Felt strong urges during the last 2 days and in the end it happened. Currently I study at a course and it expectedly turned out rather hard. I spent a lot of time behind the screen, experienced a number of failures and felt irritated. My sleep eventually became bad again. And seemingly stress and irritation after some days of resistance led to PMO. Also some everyday problems added up.

Now my number one priority is NoFAP. Even if it will cost the course completion. My point is that NoFAP is not about the so-called ‘power of will’, but about conditioning. So I must change my conditions one more time. There is really nothing new about it, but I will point them out again.

  • Limit screen time after sleep (one hour).
  • Limit screen time before sleep (one hour).
  • Walk with other people around and screen time limitation in the midday (30-60 minutes).
  • Social connections (again, be with other people around, possibly I should elaborate on this point a bit more and be more concrete).
One day is a Time
 

Alexey

Active Member
One day without PMO.

Today I was rather occupied. Went to a job, met buddies. Did some course tasks. Didn’t forget to limit screen time also. One hour in the morning and for some time in the midday.

Some essential things to leave PMO I forgot to mention in the previous post.

  • Journaling regularly.
  • Being occupied (without overstress, however). Plan activities in advance, since once the urge occurs it could be too late.
Concerning social activities, it could be in a number of ways: going for a walk in a city park, amateur run, meeting friends. As long as I don’t feel discomfort.
Here is a trap, however, since other people don’t seem so easy to be tackled after a lot of time with a smartphone and, especially, PMO.
 
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Alexey

Active Member
So I had to begin the reboot process almost from the beginning. Had a bad sleep last week. Miss a lot of yoga sessions, yet still continue regular running.

Why did that happen, I ask myself again? Possibly that is my typical reaction to failure. When I make a number of attempts to do something and still miss, I begin, what could be called, a toxic motivation. I eventually and habitually become more and more hard on myself, attacking my self esteem.

That used to work (with a lasting negative side effect) when I was younger, possibly other people got the necessary results from me in that way. I cannot blame them. They and I were brought about in that way.

no PMO 3 days

The next Goal is 5 days
 

Alexey

Active Member
Eventually I feel better, and my sleep is also. Had a run this morning.

My IT course is not going well, but I’m developing the attitude that can be formulated as: ‘Let it be as it is’. One of the ‘Four agreements’ is ‘do your best’. And the author intermises that you should do no less and no more than your best. The latter was not obvious to me. Possibly here lies the problem. Refusing to see my limitations caused more damage as a result.

I passed 5 days without PMO although I had urges. The next bar is 10 days without PMO.

One thing that I can do better in this area is journaling more often. Possibly social connections is also the area to improve. I still spend a lot of time at home with a laptop.

8 days without PMO

One day is a Time
 

Alexey

Active Member
10 days without PMO

The sleep is eventually getting better. Has urges from time to time.

Possibly one more thing about P and the time after P is that one is worse in handling challenges. Tend to feel blue when action is needed.

Go to yoga, go to work, run regularly. It seems I finally found the job that suits me at least psychologically. Maybe I’m still too ambitious to stay there for long, but I should estimate what I have also. And remember I’m not a young guy.

The next goal is to pull 20 days without PMO.

One day is a Time
 

Alexey

Active Member
Two times PMO today.

Possibly, the main reason is that I still don’t dare to put NoFAP as my number one goal even if I say and write so.

Also I flooded myself with cheap dopamine from time to time. Like watching shorts on YouTube for quite a time.

Don’t make excuses for skipping yoga sessions any more. Likely they help me to stay more stable and joyful (just after them especially).

Social connections are also the essential point (if not the most one). But it’s a double-edged sword. If the meeting supposes consuming quite a lot of alcohol then it’s likely not the best hit.

Regularity and systems approach to the addiction is still necessary. Even if I failed with it a number of times.
 
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