A Poll For the Older Guys here

[Blondie]

@joepanic, interesting video, thank you sir.

@Sammyjo:

However, I do believe there is a difference between withholding as a punishment or method of control vs. withholding due to emotional pain.

That is absolutely true. A differentiation must be made about that.

I have to agree that some women use sex as a weapon. I think this is wrong. (Although I was guilty of this once when menopause hit and I wanted an air contitioner - dead of summer, high humidity and hot flashes - no sex until I get an air conditioner! Guess what I got the next day

Lol the powers of sex. I imagine the guy who actually invented the air conditioner was probably just trying to get a little extra action during the summer months.

 

[Jlied]

For me, 3 nights after finding out, as hurt as I was, I needed him. He is my person, my best friend, and I needed to be loved to help the heartache (even though he was the cause of it).

@Sammyjo this was also true of my wife, I remember telling her we should wait because I didn’t want her feeling like I took advantage of her later on. I was also confused about by how she could want to sleep with me so soon after. But what you said is exactly what she said. I’m her person, she doesn’t have other people to confide in. I’m the person she confides in and gets comfort from. She needed the closeness because she felt so alone.

as for thinking about sex, I think my libido has died down now that I’m not looking at porn or engaging in chat rooms. I’m not on a constant sexual charge. I would say I think about sex close to once an hour if I had to guess but that depends on other things such as stress or how busy work is or if my wife and I aren’t getting along that day etc….. I think my wife is generally open to it as much as I am it she is a morning person where I’m a night person. I’d rather have sex before going to bed where she’d rather have sex when waking up in the morning. Plus having two kids makes sex a bit more opportunistic of sorts. Take it when you can cause it may not be available later.

 

[joepanic]

Wow! Lots of interesting convo going on here.

I think it was @Jlied who said Mrs. Lied continued "putting out" perhaps as a means of preventing a relapse. For me, 3 nights after finding out, as hurt as I was, I needed him. He is my person, my best friend, and I needed to be loved to help the heartache (even though he was the cause of it). @joepanic mentioned that Mrs Panic has lost her sex drive. For Me, I hit menopause very early (38). Menopause does a ton of horrid things to you including reducing your sex drive (there are some things Dr's can prescribe for this but they are not without side effects). That said it never stopped me from participating enthusiastically, it just took a little more to get me going. I often initiated even when I wasn't in the mood, but would end up enjoying it anyway. (Menopause sucks.)

I have to agree that some women use sex as a weapon. I think this is wrong. (Although I was guilty of this once when menopause hit and I wanted an air contitioner - dead of summer, high humidity and hot flashes - no sex until I get an air conditioner! Guess what I got the next day ) However, I do believe there is a difference between withholding as a punishment or method of control vs. withholding due to emotional pain.

Actually Mrs Panic hasn't lost her drive completely it is just less than it used to be but she certainly has a much higher drive for her hobbies and other passions these days. And after 15 years of marriage I still have to "ask" for it. and if she has time well than we get to do it