Get some exercise and trust the timing. Most delays in life are due to something other than what we imagine.
Yes! Many times there is learning as well in waiting. Waiting can be an opportunity to feel if we truly care for what we are waiting for. It can be an experience that shapes us as humans. And sometimes the reason for waiting is not that bad as sometimes we imagine.Get some exercise and trust the timing. Most delays in life are due to something other than what we imagine.
I messed up, but not a step backwards. It's more like stepping forward I stepped on the mud.
Yesterday I ended up texting with both the women I'm interested in, I basically told them about the new job and they congratulated me. With the one I already went on a date with we arranged a second one, the other woman I will see today when I study.
The problem is that they are both beautiful inside and out, my age, and clearly we connected. One is definitely girlfriend material, the other one (the one I will date) is trouble-I mean that she is a high value woman, on high demand, highly demanding, very independent and although she is very conservative on the sex area she is highly liberal on everything else...she is not a woman who wishes to settle down.
And both are playing the long game. I think both see me as a long term potential partner but are either not entirely sure about it or are just making sure that I really want them as something serious.
My problem is that they don't know that no matter how much my attitude has changed or how much I can attract them I have spent years of loneliness and not practicing masturbation and having eliminated pornography from my life are not helping me. Ok I will just put it this way: I want to have sex, but much more than that...I want the human contact I lacked for many years.
Them being extremely beautiful but playing hard to get is not helping. At least I would like one to commit emotionally, if not physically. I would be fine with that.
Anyways I messed up today because I went out to seek human contact with a prostitute; keep in mind that I was clear with her that I only wanted contact (like cuddling), a conversation, and not sex. Besides, I only payed half an hour. But I did wanted to see her naked, which is another form of contact and intimacy, but on her insistence I ended up staying for two hours and a half (I didn't pay for the extra time). And of course we ended having sex, on her insistence. But in all honesty I think that I seduced her in our conversation and I feel terrible about it, I feel terrible with going with her in the first place. I cannot believe how or why, with having secured a second date with a model (and a beautiful mind that I love) I needed to do this shit. Worst thing is that the prostitute really liked me and is now texting me and stuff, and it's terrible.
I feel like I cheated (even though I technically did not). And now I feel like I'm playing three ways.
Btw I lasted a few second only in sex. A bit worrying. I don't have ED though so that's good. Maybe lasting a few seconds is due a complete lack of practice.
This is what I will do: I will reset my counter. And I will learn from my mistake. I will respect myself more and the people I'm interested in. I will do some redemption and I will start to let women know that I want something serious and I don't have all the time in the world for it, because I don't masturbate nor watch porn.
I feel terrible about the whole situation. Wish things weren't as complicated. It's alright though! Life is good and I need to see all the improvements I've made! I have the job I wanted, I do the sport I love, I'm gaining friends and acquaintances, and I'm dating/interacting with beautiful women.
Redemption!!! I will redeem myself I promise you this.
But today I feel terrible and ashamed.
OMG @CodeTheMind. I'm not laughing AT you, I'm just laughing, and that was one hell of a story. I'm glad now you find humor in it too.
We live and learn. I'm glad you're living and getting out from your lonely past existence, that's what this is all about. Now you know what you want, and that's a good thing.
Keep it up brother, or should I say, lady killer.
The king of game! My guy pulled a prostitute!Besides, I only payed half an hour. But I did wanted to see her naked, which is another form of contact and intimacy, but on her insistence I ended up staying for two hours and a half (I didn't pay for the extra time). And of course we ended having sex, on her insistence. But in all honesty I think that I seduced her in our conversation and I feel terrible about it
It is time for me to admit to myself that I am capable of getting women. Not only for this but also for the two non-prostitues I am currently interacting with/dating.The king of game! My guy pulled a prostitute!