Today has been truly a great day for me. My samurai spirit shining at its brightest; rare days of sudden drive, motivation and luck are hard to come by, and definitely should not be overly relied upon, but I WILL not waste this boost.
Busy days and awaiting my new laptop made me forget to journal! The old laptop had died unexpectedly. It was a true trooper, having served 5 long years, may he rest easy in the silicon valleys of heaven! I am back!
Completely lost track of everything; pushed the last few friends I have left away, exams in a mere week with nothing learnt and done, no exercise, no hobbies worked on, and spent most recent few weeks wallowing in self pity. To top it all off been on a outrageous PMO binge. Worse part is that it just all collapsed out of nowhere. Such a fucking mess.
I'm getting back on track now, thought it might be too late since I only have 5 days before exams, might as well try use them to hit the avg line so it wont all be lost.
The frustrating thing about PMO is that things always start to get better as I'm around a week into a new attempt, so in the initial day or two everything feels garbage and I end up PMO'ing again and again in a loop. I just keep forgetting how much things better each time and decide to PMO anyway. And how to avoid breaking a particularly long attempt is a whole issue of itself. Whatever. Onwards, samurai!