Flatline Symptoms: Is This Normal?

Just had great sex to O on day 39 with my lovely wife! Came home from the gym (chest + back day) to my wife. She said she'd shower with me, but when she took off her clothes I offered her a massage. Once I started massaging her, I randomly got semi-hard, and we just kissed a bit and she touched me until I got hard enough to enter. Then, we just laughed and focused on feeling good until I crossed the threshold into knowing an O was on the way. She said at the end, "Hey baby, we just had normal sex. That hasn't happened in a while." I said, "I'm on a journey baby, you have to trust me it's only going to get better." Keep up the behaviors that are good for your brain, everyone. It's working for me in real time!
 
I am writing to share another small win. Last night, Day 56, I had sex to O again with my wonderful bride!

It wasn't easy! We're at her parents' house for the holidays, with my sister-in-law in the next room, and there was some pressure to make it happen this week (quietly) for purposes of conceiving. I did take half a Cialis to help me get it up faster than normal, but with my wife's touch I popped a boner and once inside, it didn't take long at all to feel good enough to climax.

I truly think the skills I am acquiring from meditation and mindfulness are making the difference. Even last night, I had negative thoughts enter my brain during foreplay and intercourse that I was going to lose my erection and "fail," but I employed mindfulness to label those thoughts as simply thoughts and return to feeling good and expressing love for my wife. A few weeks ago, I would've been consumed by those thoughts and would've undoubtedly lost my boner to fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I am nearly done reading "10% Happier" by Dan Harris, a hilarious primer on meditation from a TV anchorman who approached the practice with trademark skepticism and doubt. It's been a good partner on my journey, and a fun read.
 
I'm writing with a quick update as I approach 90 days. Nocturnal boners and morning wood are back! They're so frequent I sometimes have to readjust in the middle of the night to get back to sleep. I've been tempted to MO in the shower but have refrained because I don't want to mess with a formula that is clearly working. I continue to meditate almost daily and lift weights three-to-four times a week. I've also been trying to visit with friends and family frequently - community is so important and good for the body and mind. I still feel twinges of fear and anxiety that I won't be able to perform in the bedroom, but these thoughts aren't debilitating like they once were, so I am finding it easier to remain positive and optimistic. Hope this update serves as encouragement for others. Make sure you're doing things that are good for your brain and body!
 
I’m writing to share another victory. I just had sex to orgasm with my wife (she wanted to because of her ovulation window).

To be honest, I wasn’t in the mood and my penis looked like an acorn because it’s freezing where I live (northern US), but I got under the blankets with my wife and just chatted and kissed until my body warmed up. Then she began stroking my acorn and after a few minutes, it become a tree!

I applied my mindfulness strategies once again because negative thoughts certainly reared their head, especially since it was taking a while to get hard given the conditions, but I just returned my focus to breathing and talking with my bride.

Also, once I was inside, it was feeling really good and my mind tried to revert back to visualizing a porn scene, but it actually started turning me OFF! So then I brought my focus back to the sensation and I got excited enough again to orgasm. How crazy is that - visualizing other women served as a turn off this time, when it used to be my go-to move to finish. I guess the reboot and Rewire is truly working!
 
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