Fantasizing-Does it ever end!

As the title states, I still fantasize. I've been clean from all my addictions for over a year and a half, however, I struggle with fantasizing. It's not every day that I fantasize, but when I do, it's excessive, I believe. I've only caught myself fantasizing to porn a handful of times, however I fantasize about past partners I've been with. My psychologist states that it's due in part that I'm missing something in my life. I think it's because of missing the adrenaline rush. The rush I got from being in combat, or the same rush of meeting someone new for sexual favors. I could be wrong and am completely over-analyzing it. However, when I fantasize there is no rush of adrenaline, it's just that, a fantasy that plays in my mind. As I write this, I'm thinking of past partners, seriously it's overwhelming. Does, has anyone else had this problem with fantasizing and if so how do you deal with it? Thank you.
 
Not sure I understand. Is this about a cold turkey healing phase that will at some point end, or about overcoming sex addiction? Otherwise I can't understand how having sexual fantasies (excluding the porn fantasies) can possibly be something to fight or subdue? Isn't the point of abstaining from porn to reignite the brains ability to become easily aroused without needing fake visual stimuli? If it were me I think I'd see having vivid and strongly arousing fantasies as a good sign that I'm actually turning from a state where I need to watch porn, to a state where I can become aroused by fantasies and real life just like I did long before I started watching porn.
 

Simon2

Well-Known Member
Yep. Having trouble with fantasies too. Six months after quitting porn.

Reliving encounters of the past, imagining myself in very sick scenarios - fueled by the addicted brain for sure.

I think it's like when we are tempted to stare at a hot woman - we notice her, but then we have to be able to let her go - move on with our eyes. The two second rule, as it's been called here. If we can do the same with our fantasies - notice them - but then let them go and move on in our thoughts to something else - then the fantasies will lose their control over us.

... my problem is that I have a hard time WANTING to let go after 2 seconds. I want to hold on - but it just leads to unfulfilled urges - and ultimately frustration and pain. Unless it's about being with my wife of course... then I CAN fulfil something in a healthy way.
 
Not sure I understand. Is this about a cold turkey healing phase that will at some point end, or about overcoming sex addiction? Otherwise I can't understand how having sexual fantasies (excluding the porn fantasies) can possibly be something to fight or subdue? Isn't the point of abstaining from porn to reignite the brains ability to become easily aroused without needing fake visual stimuli? If it were me I think I'd see having vivid and strongly arousing fantasies as a good sign that I'm actually turning from a state where I need to watch porn, to a state where I can become aroused by fantasies and real life just like I did long before I started watching porn.
It's not about a cold turkey approach. Fantasizing about women for myself is objectifying them. Putting them in a box and seeing them only for sexual gratification and not for who they really are, mothers, daughters, and so forth.
Yep. Having trouble with fantasies too. Six months after quitting porn.

Reliving encounters of the past, imagining myself in very sick scenarios - fueled by the addicted brain for sure.

I think it's like when we are tempted to stare at a hot woman - we notice her, but then we have to be able to let her go - move on with our eyes. The two second rule, as it's been called here. If we can do the same with our fantasies - notice them - but then let them go and move on in our thoughts to something else - then the fantasies will lose their control over us.

... my problem is that I have a hard time WANTING to let go after 2 seconds. I want to hold on - but it just leads to unfulfilled urges - and ultimately frustration and pain. Unless it's about being with my wife of course... then I CAN fulfil something in a healthy way.
^
We share the same problem ;)
 
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