A Long time due battle that I need to stop ignoring

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi!

Just checking in, almost going to sleep.

Today was tiring, I was cleaning all day long, and after that went for a run. I have a lot of things to do to settle down in my new city, but well, step by dtep.

No P, no subtitues and no fantasies.
Specially when waking up and going to sleep.

I have my plan for when having urges:

-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

It works well, and so I commit to it.

I'm eating better and I'm also trying to control my phone usage.

That's all for today, I'm really tired.

See you tomorrow!
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys.

Feeling a bit depressed today. Yesterday I was cleaning all day long, and today I have to clean a lot still. I have been delaying it all day long.

I will just do it all of it today, so I can forget about it.
Hopefully I will be busy with more fulfilling stuff the next days. I wanna explore the city and find opportunities for meeting new people here. And also a job, haha.
But well, today is cleaning. Step by step, I guess.

I commit to another day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. Specially when going to sleep and when waking up. No touching my dick unless peeing.

I will be specially careful with the substitute of social media. I'm managing to reduce it's use a lot lately, but I have to remain vigilant every day.

I have my plan for when having huge urges:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.


See you tomorrow guys.
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi!

Feeling still a nit depressed.
This morning I have only been procrastinating on YouTube. I have come across some triggering content.
I'm going to stop procrastinating and get out of the house right now. I will also stop using the phone on the mornings for a few days.


My plan for when having urges, which I will implement right now:

-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

Today I'll start looking for a job, and I'll buy some things I need for my house.

Let's go!
 

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
Sounds like a good plan! The best is to anticipate, and see when these moments might happen for you in the future (i.e. in the coming days, is there a moment where I might become triggered? How can I work around it?)
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi!

Just feeling kinda low right now. I have a big headache and some anxiety.
I will cook something and then get out of my house to have a walk and visit some shops. Maybe I'll go to the cinema or a museum later.

I'm having thoughts of spending time on my computer and browsing P related websites, but I now this won't help me, it'll only drain me even more.

Well, some days are like this. It'll get better soon. The more I stay away from P, the sooner.

No P, no fantaises and no subtitues today, guys. Subtitues include social media (specially YouTube and Instagram, dating apps and kink-rekated websites)

I am making all the thinking now, no need to think about it again, only act on it.

Sounds like a good plan! The best is to anticipate, and see when these moments might happen for you in the future (i.e. in the coming days, is there a moment where I might become triggered? How can I work around it?)
Thanks!
I can't really tell, but I think the process of looking for a job always makes me very nervous. The best thing will be to make a routine out of it (look for a couple of hours in the morning, in the library), and then spend the rest of my day doing other things, also nice and rewarding stuff.

See you tomorrow guys!
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Hi!

Just feeling kinda low right now. I have a big headache and some anxiety.
I will cook something and then get out of my house to have a walk and visit some shops. Maybe I'll go to the cinema or a museum later.

I'm having thoughts of spending time on my computer and browsing P related websites, but I now this won't help me, it'll only drain me even more.

Well, some days are like this. It'll get better soon. The more I stay away from P, the sooner.

No P, no fantaises and no subtitues today, guys. Subtitues include social media (specially YouTube and Instagram, dating apps and kink-rekated websites)

I am making all the thinking now, no need to think about it again, only act on it.


Thanks!
I can't really tell, but I think the process of looking for a job always makes me very nervous. The best thing will be to make a routine out of it (look for a couple of hours in the morning, in the library), and then spend the rest of my day doing other things, also nice and rewarding stuff.

See you tomorrow guys!
Good luck with the job search. It’s a temporary discomfort. It will pass. Don’t try to self medicate with anything unhealthy. In the meantime.😁
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys!
Pretty tense morning. I feel quite tense and uneasy. I feel compulsive, if you know what I mean. Also headaches.

I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms. From P, from Phone usage and maybe as well from sugar (I've been eating healthier lately).
I have been using my phone in a very compulsive way this morning.

But well, now that I know what it is I can tackle it. I will just not use my phone for today. Only for the minimum. No YouTube and no Instagram for the rest of the day. I will use my computer in the library to send CV's and that's it. No more of anything.

This will help the withdraw symptoms to go away quicker.

Also, I know that social media use is very closely related to P use. God, is incredible how addicted I am to screens! I've notice thet the furthest away I stay from them, the better I feel, after a while.
I have bought a Nokia phone today, it will arrive at the end of this week. I will try to use it often. I cannot give my phone up completely, unfortunately, as I need it for daily life, but I will use it less and less with the nokia phone, I'm sure.

One addiction at a time!

Today I commit to another day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues. If I'm having huge urges, I will follow my plan:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

I will be careful when going to sleep and when waking up, and I won't touch my dick unless in the shower.

Just for another day.
All the thinking is done, now I only have to commit to what I've said. That's all.

See tou tomorrow guys!

P.S: 18day of no PMO
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Heey
Midday update.
I was feeling quite depressed trough the day. Idk what's going on with me... I feel lonely, and weird.
In the end I was using YouTube and I binged a bit in food. At least it was kinda healthy food, not junk food, haha.

Well, a small failure, but when compared with the "failures" I had in the past, you can tell that some progress was made.

I'm now st the movie theatre. I will go later on the evening gor a run.

For tomorrow, I will comit to a YouTube free day. I won't use my phone unless really necessary. I will stay away from it specially in the morning.

Right now it is a low moment for me, but i know it'll pass. My mood fluctuates up and down, I know.

See you tomorrow guys
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi!

I haven't been posting because I have been quite busy, which is a good thing, I guess.

It sounds like you need some activities where you can meet new friends. What clubs or activities could you participate in? If you're an expat, is there a publication that lists activities for the expat community? Hiking clubs? Dance class (salsa, tango)?
You are right Androg. I'm thinking about joining a musical project and going to a climbing gym. Maybe there I can find alike people. Also, when I start university, I will go to one of the university clubs.


Is a long process to settle down, I cannot push the river. I still feel sad, but my mood has been better lately. I try not to give it too much importance, as I know I can get quite caught up in difficult feelings.

Feels like a weird period... A lot of changes.

I'm managing moving in quite well. I have almost all the furniture I need, I only need to assemble it. Also I went today to my former city to pick up my stuff. Is beeing a process, but is going quite well.

Well, about my depression and my mood, idk what to think. I feel confused.

About social media: I will commit tomorrow to not using YouTube on my phone. Only on my computer. I will do it for a couple of days. I think this is very important and closely as difficult as quitting P.
My nokia phone arrived, so I will put my contacts there and then I'll start using it more.

I commit to another day of no P, no fantasies, and no subtitues. If I have big urges I will follow my plan:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

See you tomorrow guys, another day at this fight. Is important I commit every day, it has to be a conscious choice every day.

See you

P.S: 21days without P (trhee weeks!)
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys.

Not doing pretty good today, but still I haven't relapsed. I think troublesome feelings that I have carried with me for a long time are coming to light, and I don't know still how to deal with them. Maybe this is part of clearing my head out, of beeing more in touch with my emotions and of becoming healthier.

Still, no P, no fantasies and no subtitues for the rest of today, or dor tomorrow morning.
I have my plan in case of urges:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

That's all for all. See you tomorrow guys.
 

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
Hi guys.

Not doing pretty good today, but still I haven't relapsed. I think troublesome feelings that I have carried with me for a long time are coming to light, and I don't know still how to deal with them. Maybe this is part of clearing my head out, of beeing more in touch with my emotions and of becoming healthier.

Still, no P, no fantasies and no subtitues for the rest of today, or dor tomorrow morning.
I have my plan in case of urges:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

That's all for all. See you tomorrow guys.
Sorry you’re having a rough time. Maybe write down your thoughts in a journal. Good luck!
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys!

Thank you for your support, @Androg , @the_mountain_goat

Feeling a but better this days. I think I really have some emotional burdens that I have been carrying with me for too long, and that I need to deal with in a proper way. sometiems these pop out in a very scary and annoying way and make me feel depressed. I think what will be best is to talk with my parents in a clear and open way about things that happend in the past that affected me and that I still think about today.

I have been learning this last months to accept my emotions and not to run away from them, this is painfull, but I think is the right thing to do, it feels right.

Yesterday I had a talk with my ex-gilfriend. I wanted to explain to her that I was not feeling good about our former relationship and that I needed more distance. The conversation was surprisingly well, we had a good talk, she was understanding, and I left relief and happy about it.
One emotional burden less, I guess, haha.

As for today, I commit to another day of no P, no masturbation and no subtitues. I won't touch my dick unless in the shower. I will be specially carefull when going to sleep and when waking up.
I think these comming days are going to be more difficult, I feel some tension and urges building. I've been feeling some nervousness and restlessness trhough the day The goof thing is that I know exactly what to do: no P, no M, no subtitues, I will keep myself busy rewiring with the real world:
-looking for a job
-exploring my new city (museums, cinemas, pubs, parks, cafés, concerts)
-finishing to set my new room
-meeting with friends,
-looking for a band

Also, I am commiting to my plan in case of having big urges, which has been working very well:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.


That's all for now, see you tomorow, guys.

P.S:
I'm trying not to use youtube on my phone. This morning was all youtube-free. A small win for me!
 

TypeN

Active Member
Hey Trisquel. I hope you are alright in this busy period of time.

I have big admiration for the diligence you've exercised in confronting your emotions, accepting what needs to be done about them, and trying to do the right thing each day. It's a big mountain but you're scaling it one day at a time. Keep it up.

I hope you can also find some time to slow down, if that's right for you. I know the kinds of busy periods you're describing can be triggering for me, with the feeling of having to be "always on."
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hey Trisquel. I hope you are alright in this busy period of time.

I have big admiration for the diligence you've exercised in confronting your emotions, accepting what needs to be done about them, and trying to do the right thing each day. It's a big mountain but you're scaling it one day at a time. Keep it up.

I hope you can also find some time to slow down, if that's right for you. I know the kinds of busy periods you're describing can be triggering for me, with the feeling of having to be "always on."
Thank you, is very kind of you. I appreciate the support.

You are right, I don't want to focus too much on only work or the things I need to do. I also want to explore in my new city how to have more balance, to do things I enjoy and that make me good.
Cheers!
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi guys.
Vert quick today, I'm very tired.
The job search is going well, and I've had some trial days in some restaurants. Very tired now.

I commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies tomorrow. Just another day consciously choosing to stay away from P. I will try to be careful with what I eat, I'm always eating junk food that I know is no good, just out of boredom or emotional distress.

See you tomorrow guys!
P.S: 26 days without P
 

Trisquel

Active Member
Hi!

Right now I'm having a lot of urges, so I'm gonna implement my plan right now:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.

I'm gonna do exactly that and then I'm going to go out my house. To read to a café, to have a walk, and to go to the cinema.
O habe been eating junk food and I have been using YouTube qute compulsively today, which hasn't help with the urges. Why do I have urges now? Who nows, who cares, that doesn't change my commitment.

On a more positive note, I have two different trial days , one tomorrow and one on Saturday, in two different restaurants. I have some good options to choose from now. Soon I will start working.

Well, that's it. No P, no fantasies and no subtitues. Today is gonna be tough, but after today is gonna get easier. This too shall pass.

Enough think! Now act!


See you tomorrow guys.
 
Top