A fresh start for a mountain goat ⛰️

the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 167 | 11 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex
Doing well. Had a lovely mountain day, took it very easy on my healing injury.

Taking the evening for myself to relax, watch a movie and eat a nice healthy meal.

Solo evening can be triggering but I believe I've got it under control.

Want to be rested and energised for my second mountain day tomorrow.

When I look at my green, grey and blue dots up there, I really see the correlation between relapses and when I was traveling a lot for work and feeling over squeezed by life. All of this is cooling down now and I realise I need to find a better balance in the future. To think about... I also think the injury worsened because I was stressed.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
Quick post in the midst of a nice mountaineering weekend.

My injury feels like it’s getting better. Yet I must remain careful and avoid going too crazy back into physical activities. The intervention seems to have a helped a lot! I must remain gradual. Avoid an injury “relapse” ;)

Took a lot of time for myself in the last three days (when I wasn’t in the mountains!). Which felt really nice. Almost done with a big book. Watched some really beautiful movies. A restful experience. Tonight big music festival after a day of mountaineering. Tomorrow I’ll have to be careful, there might be a decompression feeling that might be triggering (especially after 9+ of no PMO).
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
the_mountain_goat said:
Quick post in the midst of a nice mountaineering weekend.

My injury feels like it’s getting better. Yet I must remain careful and avoid going too crazy back into physical activities. The intervention seems to have a helped a lot! I must remain gradual. Avoid an injury “relapse” ;)

Took a lot of time for myself in the last three days (when I wasn’t in the mountains!). Which felt really nice. Almost done with a big book. Watched some really beautiful movies. A restful experience. Tonight big music festival after a day of mountaineering. Tomorrow I’ll have to be careful, there might be a decompression feeling that might be triggering (especially after 9+ of no PMO).
Click to expand...
Delighted to hear that the intervention helped!
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
Quick post this morning before writing a fuller post later. Feeling a bit tired and unmotivated, grey weather. Festival last night was a bit disappointing compared to the same edition last year. I must have projected a lot of last year’s awesomeness on it. Not a good thing to do to try and relive similar experiences again. I need to be more in the moment.

I’m still SO grateful for the awesome time I had this weekend with friends and new ones in the mountains, and the chaotic fun at the festival!

Yet I’m coming out of an intense weekend, I must be careful today.

On my list:
  • Buying new shoes
  • Cleaning my flat
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Aof work
  • Finish my book
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
I don't think beeing dissapointed is not being on the moment, but good that you are aware of your expectations.

Take care, I'm glad to read your previous post and see that you sre doing good.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 171 | 11 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex
10 days since my last P, M, O! Feeling good. A bit sleepy today. Trying to accept it.

Very grateful for my weekend. And for my injury which seems to be fading away, at least now. Now it's a matter of taking care of the body and taking it easy. Finding balance...

There are a few things on my list this afternoon...
  • Admin stuff I gotta advance on
  • Physio
  • Some work
  • Yoga
  • Finish book (still!)
  • Evening with friends
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 172 | 12 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Big relapse tonight. Initiated in the afternoon.

Was feeling horny at first. Then perhaps a bit stressed/worried.

VERY long relapse. About 5-6 hours...

I had talked about this a long time ago, considered throwing away my toys.

Hadn't done it. Instead I had stashed them away in the basement.

Now making the bold move of throwing everything. That's a lot of money.

I feel like it's the right decision. They often lead me to relapsing.

Can do without. REAL sex.

Feeling a bit like shit.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 173 | 12 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex
One day away.

Great day thus far. Glad I'm not suffering too much from the relapse.

I went for a night bike ride last night after the relapse. It felt nice.

Did some slacklining with a friend this morning. Such a nice activity. Brings a peace of mind through deep focus. On top of being a cool physical activity for your core.

Some triggers to relapse. Will go now do some groceries and meet a friend.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 175 | 12 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Very emotionally intense day yesterday. Mountain trip with a friend that went wrong. Very scary. And very good lesson about not doing things when you're tired or stressed, as we both were. But we're both alive. So that's good...

Directly went to friends for emotional support/presence, and I was happy about that. Glad I feel OK reaching out to friends as I wasn't feeling OK after the accident. It instantly helped. Good lesson, again.

Today will be a more mellow day, chill e-bike ride, cozy time with friends...

Getting prepared for a new work trip (just a week) later this week, and I know these have been taxing for me.
 
Last edited:
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 175 | 13 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Morning!

Feeling better today. More rested. Taking the morning off to go on a short hike with a friend + do some slackline.

Trying to also prepare for my trip abroad (mostly for work) starting at the end of the week. Want to make sure I see friends over there as well and not just think of work. I want to make sure I enjoy most of it since it will be a short, 1-week-long trip across the Atlantic!

I look forward to being back here because after that I will be and remain here at home for 6 weeks. I know I'm most stable, happy, and satisfied when I'm here and I can spend time with friends, building relationships and a sense of community.

EDIT: I relapsed this afternoon. Some stress: travel ahead, slight pain in my injury...
 
Last edited:
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 175 | 14 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Relapsed again. Very frustrated. Feels like I'm always triggered. Quite upset...

I'm stressed by my travel ahead. There is a romantic relationship there that I will see and with all the relapses I have no idea how my libido is going to behave...

Also stressed by some admin stuff that I'm struggling to solve.

Will spend part of the afternoon with friends outside. Will hopefully feel good.

Really want to stop PMOing until this weekend, that's when I'll see my romantic relationship.
 
T

TypeN

Active Member
Hope you feel better @the_mountain_goat.

I think I remember you mentioning dealing with performance anxiety before, and maybe self sabotaging a bit that way. Maybe right now it would be best to try going easy on yourself? We are addicts, these things happen, and beating yourself up or worrying can create the sort of negative feelings that just trigger you to relapse more, which you know you don't want.

Perhaps it would feel better to just let go of attachment to the outcome of your romantic plans this weekend (easier said than done of course, but I bet some of the tools you've developed could help you get there). And who knows, maybe if you can, things might go exactly like you hope.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 187 | 14 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

I haven't been here in the last 12 days. What 12 days! (BTW, these were PMO-free days, yay!)

Went on a work trip across the Atlantic for a week. Went well, although I was still sick (shitty cold that's been going for about two weeks). Came back home very tired but satisfied by the work I did.

Not sure how I felt coming back home. I was stressed because I had a mountain trip planned the day after I was back (this weekend) and was already too tired and jet-lagged for the trip.

In the end, I decided to go back home before the end of the mountain trip. This life rhythm was too much for me. I needed to rest. I'm glad I took that decision although I wish I had taken it earlier. Why is it so hard to "take it easy" and not listen to my "mind-body" interface telling me I'm tired?

Still, one thing is making me happy: 12 days without PMO. It helped that I was busy traveling for work. I'm grateful for this, and other things...
  • I've got very good mountain friends who have been super understanding of my decision to leave before the end of the trip
  • I am now home for a while, will take this time to relax, and take care of myself
I've been thinking that too much of my life revolves around mountain sports, and my body & mind aren't able to sustain it (that might be part of the answer to the question in bold above). I thus started to think more deeply about other "hobbies" that I want to pursue/do more of...
  • Photography
  • Yoga
  • Movies
  • Books
I'm opening 4 lists for each of those items, thinking about what I might do to spend more time developing these things... :)
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 196 | 14 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Hi all.

I know the posts are far from each other these days. But I'm doing very well! Happy that in my journey since last September, I'm getting close to 200 days without porn (with 14 days of porn), and in my recent streak, I'm reaching 21 days today!

Before writing this one, I read my latest post, and I feel like "I've listened to my mind-body interface" in the last week or so. I spent a good part of last week with a long-time lover I hadn't seen in a while, in the countryside, and it was a lovely experience, relaxing, and rejuvenating. Just a lot of quiet time, reading, moderately hiking around, eating good food, and trying to be present.

Sex-wise I realized that I was still somewhat affected by porn or stress at the beginning. In the sense that I was struggling to be present.

One good conversation I had with them during that time together was about the need to build my comfort with 'touching' and being physically in touch with people: I realized I'm not used to it in general (friends, family, etc.) - so I'm thinking of which activities could help (acro-yoga could be one of them!). I need something that takes me a bit out of my comfort zone. Meditation, again, is something that would help me greatly being present.

All in all, I'm in this very nice mood of "taking care" of myself.

Also, quickly reporting on my list from my last post (exploring my other passions):
  • Photography: took my camera out last week, I should do it more though. Perhaps I could do a sunrise hike one morning this week?
  • Yoga: did some yoga with a friend yesterday. Hope to do some at the park today.
  • Movies: going to the cinema tomorrow night! Could organize a movie screening later this week?
  • Books: finished a book last week and now well into another one that I'm enjoying a lot.
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 196 | 15 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

And... I relapsed. (trigger warning)

I know why. Terrible hangover & lack of sleep today, coupled with a weird 'sentimental' situation that probably made me feel insecure...

Alone at home, tired, in bed... I think it started with Instagram stuff. And then hookup apps. And then online sex.

Not feeling too great, but also happy that tonight, I'm through the hangover and will get a good night's sleep.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Lots of free time tomorrow.

Hoping to...
  • Prepare some homemade liquor!
  • Yoga and movie with a friend
  • Work a little bit
  • Finish my book
  • Pick up another book from the book shop
  • Work a little bit!
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 196 | 16 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

Relapsed again. Similar reasons. Alone at home, feeling a little low in energy/motivation. It's a vicious circle as porn makes this feeling of lack of motivation even more intense.

Somehow feeling a little weak these days. I know I'm trying to take it easy, but it's difficult for me to do that.

Fear of missing out on my summer. If I lose my days with porn like yesterday and today, that's what will happen.

It's keeping me from exploring opportunities. It "stole" me from my day. Or, it stole my day away from me. This is how much control it has over me.

I do want to "reclaim" my summer. And myself... A bit lost though.
 
T

Trisquel

Active Member
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.
It is a vicious circle, indeed, where you feel demotivated and go to P, which makes you more demotivated.
Have you thought of things that can break the circle?
For me what works best is to be in company of friends, or to go out to nature. Maybe some yoga with friends? Or a chill day/picnic outside, something like that. Even having some beers or cooking with your roomate, or calling your family.

Also, I do think you have a very busy and active lifestyle with a lot of activities that fulfill you, I don't think two days of relapsing are going to ruin your entire summer, you only need to go back on track.

I also know you are trying to take it easy and don't exhaust yourself. I guess it's learning to listen to what your body ask to you and learning to enjoy activities that don't push you too hard. Like, idk, reading more, cooking, doing more e-bike and yoga instead of outdoor climbing/hiking, or whatever works for you, you know best.

Also, when you feel better maybe is good to reflex on these teo days to see what went wrong, how it happend, and what you can do to be prepared for similar situations next time.
Don't worry, is a normal thing, and you will be back on track, you are still winning in your counter!

Best wishes
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
ME 197 | 16 PORN
November ▇
December ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Januarywr ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
FebruaryW▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
MarchWhg▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Aprilhgh=g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Mayh....//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇
Juneh...//g▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ← I'm here!
▇ no PMO ▇ PMO ▇ healthy MO and/or 'real' sex

@Trisquel: a HUGE thanks for your lovely message. So thoughtful and on point. It made me feel a lot better when I read it.

Today started a lot better: did yoga. Although woke up in the middle of the night with some work-related stress. Ended up sleeping a little longer to catch up on the middle of the night insomnia.

Feeling better. Saw some good friends this morning. Did some work.

Grateful for my friends that I spent some good time with this week. Also glad that I accomplished some nice things work-wise! And made nice homemade liquor from a mountain plant, for the first time and it looks great. Will be nice for winter :D There is definitely joy in making something from scratch like this.

Also grateful that I'm taking the time to get back into cinema: watched two very good movies this week. I hope I can continue!
I've got nice plans for the weekend. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly :)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top