It's not over until I win.

jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
DAY 0:
Just relapsed. I quit p over a year ago, and for a year I didn't pmo, it was good.

But in the last few months I've relapsed so many times and I just can't quit it idk why, I so badly want to but in a few days I end up relapsing again. I did suffer from PIED before but it's good now, but I'm back on this cycle of addiction and I want to get over it once and for all.

I just can't seem to get a hang of it for some reason. I want to quit this so bad but I end up relapsing I have no clue what to do, any help would be appreciated. Thanks and hope you all are doing well!
 
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Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Welcome to the forum, it's a great place to get the help you need and connect with others that are quitting porn.

I know the feeling, it sucks to fail after you've tried to quit - especially when you've had a long streak.

What information have you studied to figure out how to quit? I recommend yourbrainonporn.com and dr. trish leigh on youtube if you haven't already checked them out. There are other good resources but those two are a good starting point.

Also are there any disciplines that you can set up for yourself to help you quit? For myself I went super strict, because I really got sick and tired (literally and figuratively) of not being able to quit. For me that means no social media, no movies or tv (aside from watching a family movie with my wife and kids every now and then), and i even got rid of my smart phone (i replaced it with a phone that's designed for kids - it's a "smart" phone with no internet on it, and no apps). I'm not suggesting everybody should go to this level of discipline (I don't think this is common on the forum based on what i've seen), but that's what I'm doing... I figure no sacrifice I make will be too great in order to quit once and for all. Perhaps there are some disciplines you can do to give yourself an edge on quitting.

Lastly, have you identified what triggers have caused you to fail in the past? Knowing what they are and then setting up a plan for what to do when you face them will help, so that you don't have to try to think about what to do in the moment when you face them. Have a plan of action of what you will and will not do when the temptation comes.

Of course there's more, but those are a few tidbits from what I've been doing in my reboot.

Best of luck to you.
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
Galatians51 said:
Welcome to the forum, it's a great place to get the help you need and connect with others that are quitting porn.

I know the feeling, it sucks to fail after you've tried to quit - especially when you've had a long streak.

What information have you studied to figure out how to quit? I recommend yourbrainonporn.com and dr. trish leigh on youtube if you haven't already checked them out. There are other good resources but those two are a good starting point.

Also are there any disciplines that you can set up for yourself to help you quit? For myself I went super strict, because I really got sick and tired (literally and figuratively) of not being able to quit. For me that means no social media, no movies or tv (aside from watching a family movie with my wife and kids every now and then), and i even got rid of my smart phone (i replaced it with a phone that's designed for kids - it's a "smart" phone with no internet on it, and no apps). I'm not suggesting everybody should go to this level of discipline (I don't think this is common on the forum based on what i've seen), but that's what I'm doing... I figure no sacrifice I make will be too great in order to quit once and for all. Perhaps there are some disciplines you can do to give yourself an edge on quitting.

Lastly, have you identified what triggers have caused you to fail in the past? Knowing what they are and then setting up a plan for what to do when you face them will help, so that you don't have to try to think about what to do in the moment when you face them. Have a plan of action of what you will and will not do when the temptation comes.

Of course there's more, but those are a few tidbits from what I've been doing in my reboot.

Best of luck to you.
Click to expand...
Thanks man, hope you're doing good too.

Yes I have checked out the two resources you've mentioned, they're great.

What I did was setting up a porn blocker in my phone and that really helped but I ended up using another phone to relapse last night, which I had never done before.

What triggers me is usually stress/disappointment and boredom, and working out or playing football usually takes care of it, but i haven't had the time for those lately.

But I'm pretty sure that I've got it this time, thanks again.
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
DAY 1:

Day 1 of quitting feels so good, feels like I've accomplished something. Today was good, no pmo.

I've realised that I love the whole numbers thing, i.e the whole day counter thing and when I see it everyday it just drives me even more to quit this.

I remember being so happy when I hit the 90 day mark over a year ago and then it went on for a year before I slipped up, going to beat it this time!
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
DAY 2:

No pmo, all good& I feel great. Life's so much better without porn and it makes me happy.

Today I was going through my friends phone and accidentally saw a nude and I closed it right away.

The fact that I decided not to indulge in it and browse for more made me feel really good, I felt happy.

I'm done w these pixels on a screen and they bring no advantages to my life, just a lot of disadvantages.

I feel happy, great and healthy and hope you all feel the same way.

Also it just rained and it's super cold here so I'm in a goooood mood lol, take care! Peace
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Hey that's great restraint, seeing an image like that can easily send you down the wrong path if you aren't mentally prepared for it.

No PMO does feel good - that's for sure.... PMO would feel good for a moment and then leave you feeling like garbage when you're done... whereas the longer you go with no PMO the better you feel
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
Galatians51 said:
Hey that's great restraint, seeing an image like that can easily send you down the wrong path if you aren't mentally prepared for it.

No PMO does feel good - that's for sure.... PMO would feel good for a moment and then leave you feeling like garbage when you're done... whereas the longer you go with no PMO the better you feel
Click to expand...
Yes I felt great that I said no to it, I've gone down the wrong path a few times by seeing those kinda images a few times, but not this time.

Exactly, pmo feels good for that moment, but after that little moment it feels like crap, but not pmo'ing feels amazing in the long run. Hope you're doing great too!
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
DAY 5: No pmo

I had some weird porn related dreams last night and I woke up from my dreams thinking I relapsed.

I've got one more exam in Feb so today I'm gonna start preparing for it.
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
DAY 7: One week of no pmo

Spent my day studying, met my friends and went to the movies.

Had some small urges here and there but got over it, good day.
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Hey congrats on one week porn free! Way to go

jackinabox said:
DAY 5: No pmo

I had some weird porn related dreams last night and I woke up from my dreams thinking I relapsed.

I've got one more exam in Feb so today I'm gonna start preparing for it.
Click to expand...

In the first 40-50 days I was having all kinds of weird dreams related to porn and hooking up with women. Over the last few weeks they have decreased to almost non existent. Maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe the longer you break free from thinking about porn the less likely you are to dream about it. Dreams had always been a trigger for me, I'd wake up thinking about what i'd seen and well, you can figure out the rest. I don't sleep next to any technology that I can use to view porn, something i started on this reboot and initially that was super helpful - probably one of the biggest keys to staying clean. However now I feel like I could handle it, though i'm sticking with my non smart phone anyway, don't want to tempt myself.

Anyway, keep up the good work!
 
W

WoundedSparrow

Active Member
Over time, the neural pathways we've created that cause us to crave pornography go dormant. Sort of like how a path through the woods will become overgrown if left unused. However, the path still exists. It will always exist. And relapse clears the path out. If we keep relapsing, it goes from a small wooded path to a 6-lane highway. This process happens rather quickly. The best thing you can do is stop at all costs immediately. This is hard to do because addiction recovery is like building a house of cards. You can stack it to the ceiling but one wrong move obliterates what you've built. Now, this isn't to say relapse can't be overcome. I'm being a bit dramatic. But the house of cards effect, at least in my book, applies to my WILLPOWER after relapse. It feels like I've been kneecapped. Keep both of those things in mind and stay focused on your road to recovery!
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
Galatians51 said:
Hey congrats on one week porn free! Way to go



In the first 40-50 days I was having all kinds of weird dreams related to porn and hooking up with women. Over the last few weeks they have decreased to almost non existent. Maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe the longer you break free from thinking about porn the less likely you are to dream about it. Dreams had always been a trigger for me, I'd wake up thinking about what i'd seen and well, you can figure out the rest. I don't sleep next to any technology that I can use to view porn, something i started on this reboot and initially that was super helpful - probably one of the biggest keys to staying clean. However now I feel like I could handle it, though i'm sticking with my non smart phone anyway, don't want to tempt myself.

Anyway, keep up the good work!
Click to expand...

Thanks man. I had another porn related dream today, but the cool thing was that even in the dream I was thinking about never watching porn again.

Using a porn blocker has been a great for me, filters out anything unwanted in my phone.
 
jackinabox

jackinabox

Member
WoundedSparrow said:
Over time, the neural pathways we've created that cause us to crave pornography go dormant. Sort of like how a path through the woods will become overgrown if left unused. However, the path still exists. It will always exist. And relapse clears the path out. If we keep relapsing, it goes from a small wooded path to a 6-lane highway. This process happens rather quickly. The best thing you can do is stop at all costs immediately. This is hard to do because addiction recovery is like building a house of cards. You can stack it to the ceiling but one wrong move obliterates what you've built. Now, this isn't to say relapse can't be overcome. I'm being a bit dramatic. But the house of cards effect, at least in my book, applies to my WILLPOWER after relapse. It feels like I've been kneecapped. Keep both of those things in mind and stay focused on your road to recovery!
Click to expand...
A relapse never feels good and I have relapsed a couple of times in quick succession after going porn free for over a year.

But I realise now, more than ever how bad I feel after a session. It's something that I'm done with.
Hope you're doing great too!
 
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