My story

ArthurHale

Member
I'm 15. I have been on and off PMO ever since I was probably around 11 or 12. At one point in between I was severely addicted, spending every second of my day PMO'in to much more extreme genres. I would rather not recall any of that, but the main focus is that I was addicted, and my life was in pieces.Iater after that I healed a bit, I picked up most of the pieces, I kind of tried to do NoFap and from then on reduced my PMO to around once a week, then around once every two weeks, then my PC broke down. Yay? No. That's where I spent all my time programming, modeling, drawing, literally every single one of my hobbies existed on this very computer. Then daily porn use started to creep back into my schedule from its dark recesses, into a contemporary light. That is where I am at the moment. I began to panic a bit, but it's not too bad as of yet. That is when I read a lot on 'rebooting' and signed up to forums like this one.
I do not consider myself a deep-dyed addict at the moment but with due regard to my age I feel that It is of paramount importance that I cut out this habit as early on as possible.
To finish off, I would very much appreciate any advice you may have, for both my future and my present, and for my journey in becoming cleansed of this wretched behaviour. Thank you for taking your time to read this 🙂
 

Galatians51

Active Member
I'm 15. I have been on and off PMO ever since I was probably around 11 or 12. At one point in between I was severely addicted, spending every second of my day PMO'in to much more extreme genres. I would rather not recall any of that, but the main focus is that I was addicted, and my life was in pieces.Iater after that I healed a bit, I picked up most of the pieces, I kind of tried to do NoFap and from then on reduced my PMO to around once a week, then around once every two weeks, then my PC broke down. Yay? No. That's where I spent all my time programming, modeling, drawing, literally every single one of my hobbies existed on this very computer. Then daily porn use started to creep back into my schedule from its dark recesses, into a contemporary light. That is where I am at the moment. I began to panic a bit, but it's not too bad as of yet. That is when I read a lot on 'rebooting' and signed up to forums like this one.
I do not consider myself a deep-dyed addict at the moment but with due regard to my age I feel that It is of paramount importance that I cut out this habit as early on as possible.
To finish off, I would very much appreciate any advice you may have, for both my future and my present, and for my journey in becoming cleansed of this wretched behaviour. Thank you for taking your time to read this 🙂
Hey man, welcome to the forum.

I have found for me, writing on here has been super helpful - something about bringing the secret out into the open (even anonymously) has been very helpful. Hopefully you feel the same.

I'm 34, and started looking at porn around your age. If there's one thing I would change in my life, it would be never having gone down the PMO path, so do whatever it takes to stay clean from this habit.

All the best to you
 

Yuki

Member
I'm 15. I have been on and off PMO ever since I was probably around 11 or 12. At one point in between I was severely addicted, spending every second of my day PMO'in to much more extreme genres. I would rather not recall any of that, but the main focus is that I was addicted, and my life was in pieces.Iater after that I healed a bit, I picked up most of the pieces, I kind of tried to do NoFap and from then on reduced my PMO to around once a week, then around once every two weeks, then my PC broke down. Yay? No. That's where I spent all my time programming, modeling, drawing, literally every single one of my hobbies existed on this very computer. Then daily porn use started to creep back into my schedule from its dark recesses, into a contemporary light. That is where I am at the moment. I began to panic a bit, but it's not too bad as of yet. That is when I read a lot on 'rebooting' and signed up to forums like this one.
I do not consider myself a deep-dyed addict at the moment but with due regard to my age I feel that It is of paramount importance that I cut out this habit as early on as possible.
To finish off, I would very much appreciate any advice you may have, for both my future and my present, and for my journey in becoming cleansed of this wretched behaviour. Thank you for taking your time to read this 🙂
Hello, welcome to RN and congratulation on realizing the harms of PMO soon.

The sooner you detox from PMO, the more benefits you get and the quicker your brain recovers.

I know MO since 5 years old, exposed to P since 12 years old. I am 19 years old now, severely negatively affected: small forebrain, no friends,...

Like @Galatians51 , I also just wish I didn't know PMO.

Stay strong and keep going, good luck. 🔥
 

ArthurHale

Member
Hey man, welcome to the forum.

I have found for me, writing on here has been super helpful - something about bringing the secret out into the open (even anonymously) has been very helpful. Hopefully you feel the same.

I'm 34, and started looking at porn around your age. If there's one thing I would change in my life, it would be never having gone down the PMO path, so do whatever it takes to stay clean from this habit.

All the best to you
Yes, It does feel better to just let it all out here; I feel like it sends clarity to what you are here to do and why. Thanks for the kind and inspiring words! 😀
 
I'm 15. I have been on and off PMO ever since I was probably around 11 or 12. At one point in between I was severely addicted, spending every second of my day PMO'in to much more extreme genres. I would rather not recall any of that, but the main focus is that I was addicted, and my life was in pieces.Iater after that I healed a bit, I picked up most of the pieces, I kind of tried to do NoFap and from then on reduced my PMO to around once a week, then around once every two weeks, then my PC broke down. Yay? No. That's where I spent all my time programming, modeling, drawing, literally every single one of my hobbies existed on this very computer. Then daily porn use started to creep back into my schedule from its dark recesses, into a contemporary light. That is where I am at the moment. I began to panic a bit, but it's not too bad as of yet. That is when I read a lot on 'rebooting' and signed up to forums like this one.
I do not consider myself a deep-dyed addict at the moment but with due regard to my age I feel that It is of paramount importance that I cut out this habit as early on as possible.
To finish off, I would very much appreciate any advice you may have, for both my future and my present, and for my journey in becoming cleansed of this wretched behaviour. Thank you for taking your time to read this 🙂
To piggyback off of what @Yuki @Galatians51 have already stated, it is a tremendous step in your life at age 15 to realize you have a problem; you want help, and you want to rid yourself of this habit.

I'm 44; at age 6, I was told it was ok to touch a naked woman's body by my babysitter. Age 15 exposed to pornography. That is where I became hooked. After 27 and a half years of looking at this stuff, I will tell you, this rabbit hole gets deep. You will view material you despise now just to get off, will do things that you never thought you would do. Lose all interest in friendship and isolate just to PMO. Your motivation just to get out of bed will be a chore. Forget showering and eating. Your whole life is now consumed with PMO.

Get out now, please, before it dismantles every fiber of your precious life before it takes root.
 

Simon2

Active Member
Welcome! I knew distantly that I had an issue when I was 15. But I didn't know how to face it. Fast forward 30 years...

if I could go back and talk to my 15 year old self I'd say: Be true to your values. Do what you know is right. Don't excuse things you know don't feel right by just saying everyone else does it (do you want to be average?). Have a clear rule for yourself that porn, of any form, is not an option. Period. Because it will always be there... A click away. So it must just not be allowed. Because we know what dark places it takes you to. Live by the moto "I am a man who does not touch porn". Just like maybe you would never consider smoking...

I wonder if me at 15 would have listened lol. But you're here - so that's huge!
 

ArthurHale

Member
To piggyback off of what @Yuki @Galatians51 have already stated, it is a tremendous step in your life at age 15 to realize you have a problem; you want help, and you want to rid yourself of this habit.

I'm 44; at age 6, I was told it was ok to touch a naked woman's body by my babysitter. Age 15 exposed to pornography. That is where I became hooked. After 27 and a half years of looking at this stuff, I will tell you, this rabbit hole gets deep. You will view material you despise now just to get off, will do things that you never thought you would do. Lose all interest in friendship and isolate just to PMO. Your motivation just to get out of bed will be a chore. Forget showering and eating. Your whole life is now consumed with PMO.

Get out now, please, before it dismantles every fiber of your precious life before it takes root.
Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and inspiration. I'm so glad I decided to post here today
 

ArthurHale

Member
Welcome! I knew distantly that I had an issue when I was 15. But I didn't know how to face it. Fast forward 30 years...

if I could go back and talk to my 15 year old self I'd say: Be true to your values. Do what you know is right. Don't excuse things you know don't feel right by just saying everyone else does it (do you want to be average?). Have a clear rule for yourself that porn, of any form, is not an option. Period. Because it will always be there... A click away. So it must just not be allowed. Because we know what dark places it takes you to. Live by the moto "I am a man who does not touch porn". Just like maybe you would never consider smoking...

I wonder if me at 15 would have listened lol. But you're here - so that's huge!
This is a huge motivation for me, I am sure to come back to this thread every time I'm feeling down to remind me of these timeless values. Thank you.
 

ArthurHale

Member
I peaked for like 3 minutes. I feel terrible about it. I turned everything off and controlled myself away from it, and managed to get back on track (I hope). Does this count as a relapse?
 

Galatians51

Active Member
I don't know... it's kind of up to you, what your goals are.

My goal is to be PMO free, every part of that, so on this streak I haven't had any of the 3, except when I'm with my wife.

For me the worst part of PMO is the aftermath, after the MO and I'm just left to my shame. However just looking at porn is also a shameful experience. I don't think I ever looked at porn and then not MO... sometimes I would walk away from it, but then come back later to it. Hopefully that wasn't the same for you in this case.

What do you think, what are your goals?
 
@ArthurHale, congrats on becoming aware so early in your life about this.
Don't give up! You've already taken a huge step.
If you've managed to stay clean for 21 days, kudos to you!! Just think about staying clean for 22 days. One step at a time, man.
Don't fool yourself by thinking you don't have a serious problem.
If in doubt, I'd rather stay off PMO.
Some of us can't control this beast.
Just like some people can drink occassionally and some others become alcoholics.
I've never had any problem with alcohol, but sadly I cannot say the same with P.
Keep on trucking and stay strong!
 

ArthurHale

Member
Don't fool yourself by thinking you don't have a serious problem.
It seems to me that when we let our guard down and believe ourselves to have finally conquered this addiction, that we fail. We fail, I believe, because relapse is not an instantaneous product of craving, but rather a gradual one; and when our guard is down, the gradual creep of craving is unnoticeable, or rather ignorantly (and arrogantly) dismissed.
after the MO and I'm just left to my shame
Yes, oh how I relate to this. I have relapsed as of recently, shame and emotional distress engulfing my every thought; such a very horrid experience, where I feel undeserving of anything or anyone.
You don't notice the progress until you lose it.

Thank you both, Galatians and CleanSlate, for fueling such a noble cause, and helping others fight the good fight! 😄 I greatly appreciate you guys.
 
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