DELETED: From Compulsion to Inner Peace

dantes993

Member
Day 4

Some triggers were coming up today. I was with my dad, and he was watching a movie with a lot of sexual content. I don't avoid or run away from triggers. When I am triggered, I now accept the inherent discomfort of having my biological drive to procreate activated before it becomes a craving. Sexual triggers aren't so scary now.

I do find like when we try to run or avoid the triggers, it actually made us to crave more. But at the same time there's also need a balance that you are not too exposed to the triggers. Still, you have a good fight I see here.
 

Winnerwhoabstains

Active Member
Hey - keep up the fight! It is great that you have a good life plan it seems, in terms of interest in yoga and coding - that seems like a good balance to me. Using the mind and finding a good career while also taking care of the body and spirit.

I will mention in terms of triggers there seems to be a MUCH higher success rate with getting away from triggers. There is no reward for showing how much trigger and temptation we can cope with.

It can also be reframed - I personally find it kind of empowering to be really strict - like seeing a trigger and averting my eyes or walking away asap - it is like a message to my brain I am serious about this. Also on a neurobiology level literally the more triggers looked at the more the addictive neural pathways are being activated.


Also - there is a secular science based meeting that helped me a lot with addiction. The facilitator is a literal scientist. He talked about how he figured everything out about his addiction and understood everything, all the introspection in the world.... but smart as he was that is not what led him to stop..... what did was simply whenever he had an urge he went for a walk until it went a way. It was a very pavlov's dog almost mechanical process and I have found the same.


Just some food for though, in terms of experiences I have had and seen.

And thanks for the encouragement at the end of your post! Each day free of this is a lovely day.
 

Winnerwhoabstains

Active Member
Well done on posting right away! Stay in that horse and keep going.

In my experience - abstaining from pmo is an extremely hard but simple process. And it can be helpful to trace back in the last week or two what led to the lapse. Often it is a build up of thoughts or triggers.

Generally from what I have seen the quitting comes first and the internal stuff us aided by it.
Put simple - lapses don’t just happen - generally it’s a matter of tracing back further into the past days to notice where it was building.
 

Winnerwhoabstains

Active Member
I totally agree the thought of needing to ejaculate is a rationalization in my experience. If the body really really needs to ejaculate wet dreams can happen. So we do not need to PMO or MO if we choose not to.
 
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