525614657367245121
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Depressed and desperate, help
- Thread starter 525614657367245121
- Start date
one_man_canoe
Member
I don't think you've ruined yourself forever. Apparently the brain has amazing self-healing properties, we just need to stop blasting it with super-normal stimulus.
WoundedSparrow
Active Member
Relax. Like you said, you know you aren't gay. The reason why gay porn turns you on is specifically because you've conditioned your brain to respond to it. Like with all other addictions, eventually you need greater amounts of whatever you're addicted to in order to achieve your high. For us porn addicts, this comes in the form of the novelty of endless sexual partners in endless variety.
Think about when you first started using porn: You likely were able to get off to "vanilla" porn. Over time, that morphed into a need to view things further and further outside the norm for you. That's the same as a heroin addict upping the dose. You had to find more extreme versions of what you were watching to get off. There are plenty of men like you who are 100% straight, but their addictions have led them to only being able to get off to gay porn because it's the most extreme kind available. The most outside-the-comfort zone porn there is.
You said the HOCD has disappeared. That's good. Your lust for gay porn will disappear too, but ONLY if you can allow your brain to recover. Much of my sexual OCD disappears too once I get clean. Your brain is neuroplastic. It will heal over time, but you have to let it. Keep your chin up, friend. It's not too late.
Think about when you first started using porn: You likely were able to get off to "vanilla" porn. Over time, that morphed into a need to view things further and further outside the norm for you. That's the same as a heroin addict upping the dose. You had to find more extreme versions of what you were watching to get off. There are plenty of men like you who are 100% straight, but their addictions have led them to only being able to get off to gay porn because it's the most extreme kind available. The most outside-the-comfort zone porn there is.
You said the HOCD has disappeared. That's good. Your lust for gay porn will disappear too, but ONLY if you can allow your brain to recover. Much of my sexual OCD disappears too once I get clean. Your brain is neuroplastic. It will heal over time, but you have to let it. Keep your chin up, friend. It's not too late.